thatgothicchick Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 I was dating a guy for 6 months. His ex divorced him years ago, and he has a toddler. I get along great with his child, and he thinks so too, so there aren't any problems there...him and I had a great time, I met his parents, he met my mother, I got along great with his friends, and they all thought I was wonderful for him, (Even his Ex) and he made me think so too, even calling me a 'saint'. I felt like he was my soul mate...but I felt like something was holding him back...we never said "I love you", (I wanted him to say it first) but I didn't expect him to say it only 6 months in, especially previously gone through a divorce, and I was waiting very patiently, never pressuring him or bringing it up or anything...anyways, time went by and he acted less and less like a boyfriend to me...and then finally, he broke up with me a month ago, saying that he went into this too fast, has a lot of 'issues' he needs to deal with, and he wants to concentrate on raising his child, that I did absolutely nothing wrong, and that I am beautiful, brought light back into his life, but just doesn't feel like he's ready for a relationship, with me or anyone, and that he couldn't give me what I want. He kept saying that his brain was fighting with his heart, and he really didn't sound like he was too sure...I was devastated, but didn't lash out or anything...he said he still wanted me in his life...still, I maintained a lot of NC (we do work together, but we're in dif. departments). I DID spend a little alone time with him one day, just to tell him I respect his decision, to thank him for being honest with me and still being my friend. We both ended up at the same party a few nights ago, and it was the longest amount of time that I had hung out with him since the breakup. During those hours, he kept calling me the little 'pet names' that he used on me when we were dating, and he kept telling me to come with him wherever he went. He also said I was gorgeous...We even danced together, and were a little flirty, and he also thanked me for not hating him. I felt butterflies, I know I'm still in love with him. I won't try to 'force him' to love me, but I can't force myself out of love with him either...and I've never felt more sure about a man in my life. Also, just saying now that he would NEVER try to do a f.w.b. type thing with me, or anyone. Now as the last month and a half have passed, I feel like I'm getting more and more mixed signals from him...he treats me alright at work, but outside of work, I don't even seem to exist to him. He hasn't called me once. I have only called him 2 or 3 times during the past month, one to ask him a question about an event I was in, once to ask if he wanted to hang out, and another to tell him another cool event was happening soon...I wasn't a clingy, over-dependent girlfriend to him...like I said, he called me a 'saint'. He apologized for not calling me a few weeks ago, but still didn't call afterwords...He winks at me a lot when he see's me...but he's only social towards me at work, or like at the event when we were both there with mutual friends...what the heck is going on?! His friends don't know why he hasn't tried to establish any social contact with me outside of work either...he has also made some drastic changes to his appearance since the breakup... If you've survived reading all that, and you still care to answer, thank you! This is a big, confusing mess that I'm in, and I guess there's several questions that I'm looking to have answered... (or just opinions, thoughts and whatnot) Has anyone ever gone through something similar? (Dating a single father, etc. etc.) Or are you a single father who has gone through this? What's your take? And at least from what I've described, does it sound like we could possibly get back together? Why would he not want to hang out with me even though he said I was a blast to hang out with? Do you think there is a chance he is regretting his decision? IS there another woman?! Is he just being nice in public because he has to? I'm so confused... Thank you again for reading!
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