Author lovnlost Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 Sorry but what does it mean now ex-H ? Is she still with him or not ? Secondly, you sound being strong about the whole thing. It is not easy... Most of us (xOM) have really a hard time getting over someone who we believed was a wonderful and real Love (well, maybe it was at the moment you shared it). At some point you just tell yourself, it was not meant to be and you let it go. It is better to be out of the picture when she is dealing with her M. Keeping contact with her is very counter-productive because it will make her comfortable with the situation and she will be even less encouraged to leave. Why leaving when she can have the H and an OM, best of both worlds ? If you stay out of the picture she will have to face the situation with her H and take a decision. Still not very clear. Do you mean she is still on your FB list ? You have to delete and block her, not because you hate her but for being in peace during your NC. FB is a mess when it comes to relationship with a married person. You don't want to see her life with her H and where they go. Sailing sounds super nice. Keep us updated She is NOT with him. They finished their divorce back in September. So she has gone back to her EX husband. Odd I thought. She was confused before but why she went through with it, with little to no pressure from me, and then got back with him....well...your guess is as good as mine. I miss her kids. They are wonderful children. And yes...she will have to face her choice now. I love the term cake eater. Well put! FB...ugh! I loathe this thing sometimes. She deleted her account along with her ex husband/slash current relationship. lol...odd I think. Anyway, she has been off for 6 weeks. Thats when I noticed a new account pop up on a friends page randomly. You see....we have MANY of the same friends. We may have not spoke in 13 years but we have known each other since middle school. Many years so we share alot of common people. So why she is back...is beyond me. I dont think I changed my settings quick enough. I did not want to give her the pleasure of checking on my status or see what I am up to AT ALL! But....I could be selfish in saying that. I don't know. But it seems logical to me when you confess and be there for each other like we were....well...its what I would do probably. Don't give me to much credit. I owe alot to some very core friends in helping me stay strong and NOT contact her. I tried to for a week then....nothing. Ball is in her court. But I am learning so much about our relationship now in the after math and I don't rightfully know if there could be a 2nd chance. Not unless it was on my terms. She has shown me/us that her terms do not work. But, I am not on the keeping 'hope alive" kick that much. Of coarse I think about it....I love her. But I am TRYING to be strong. Some days are easier than others. Time....ya know. I am trying not to care or wonder what she is up to or feeling...but I am sure you know how that goes.
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