PinkGal Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 We were dating for 5 months. Last week...we were arguing a little bit over texts. (I KNOW...I wanted to talk to him on the phone but when we argue he tends to run away). So he was supposed to come with me to a concert on Saturday. As of Wednesday morning we were still going....although he still hadn't called me. (I know...I SHOULD have called him...which I ended up doing later). On Wednesday I said to him "I just want to be in a real relationship with you where we can communicate better...and I don't know if that's going to happen." The ONLY problem we have had is communication...because like I said...he avoids things. When we finally DO talk about things...we always treat each other with complete respect and things have always gotten better. I then sent him a picture of the dress I had bought for the concert...he said "Wow you look amazing." And included 2 smiley faces with hearts for the eyes. I got off work later and said...Ok well I am off early so if you want to talk I am available. (I think he might have been working). No response. Around 930 pm...I said..."Ok well I guess not. I won't bother you again tonight. Have a good night!" No response. The next day...I text him and say "hey whats going on?" But about 10 minutes later I say...screw it...I'm just going to call him because we NEED to talk! I call and leave a very casual voicemail "Hey it's me...just wondering what you are up to? Give me a call back." He texts back about 15 minutes later..."I'm driving a semi. Call you in an hour." About 3 hours later I text and say "hey did you forget about me? LOL" He calls 45 minutes later...but I missed the call. (Was having coffee with a friend). No voicemail. I call back...again and leave another casual voicemail...(I'm not mad at him or anything...but we DO need to talk). Never calls back. I send him a text about 45 minutes later saying "hey you are still going to the concert right?" No response. Then about 3 hours later I say "M*** please, if you don't want this to be over we need to talk! If you do...thats ok but you need to TELL me." No response. That was Thursday. I haven't heard from him since. He didn't go to the concert (obviously). I'm not going to contact him...but I'm just wondering...wtf? Did we break up? I mean...like I said...he would rather avoid things than deal with them...so I don't know if he's gonna contact me again or what? What the heck happened???
codycat Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 Hey there, After reading your post my first thought was is he alright. He mentioned he was driving a semi. You did not hear from him since.
SerenaG Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 Wow - sounds like my ex went to the same school of communication as yours. When we would make plans to go out he so hated communicating something he thought I didn't want to hear (he was too busy, too tired, made other plans) that he would just disappear instead. How can they possibly think not saying anything is easier than the truth? The stress of never knowing our plans until the last possible second was excrutiating. A couple of weeks before we officially broke up he essentially went into complete communication shutdown. To his credit he did finally man up and set up a time to meet to do the break-up in person. After the initial pain subsided I must say not having that constant communication stress felt like a weight being lifted.
Author PinkGal Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 codycat- I know he is ok because he has changed his facebook profile pic in the last couple of days.
Author PinkGal Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 Wow - sounds like my ex went to the same school of communication as yours. When we would make plans to go out he so hated communicating something he thought I didn't want to hear (he was too busy, too tired, made other plans) that he would just disappear instead. How can they possibly think not saying anything is easier than the truth? The stress of never knowing our plans until the last possible second was excrutiating. A couple of weeks before we officially broke up he essentially went into complete communication shutdown. To his credit he did finally man up and set up a time to meet to do the break-up in person. After the initial pain subsided I must say not having that constant communication stress felt like a weight being lifted. OMG thank you for saying this! He ABSOLUTELY does the same thing with plans...he wasn't good about making plans ahead of time...it would always be like the day of or a couple hours before. He never really cancelled on me...but like...let's say he said something that I was kind of bothered by...I would tell him it hurt my feelings...and even though I wasn't MAD or whatever...instead of just calling me and apologizing or talking to me about it...he would just disappear!!!
Saphira Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 wow my ex was just like your guy in so many ways. He lacked in the communication department. but not always. It was after HS and then he just kinda didnt talk so much. and he did the last minute plan thing. I always brought something up ahead of time but he would always plan something a day before or the day of. Our ending sort of ended the same way yours did. Me and him went out the weekend before this valentines of 2011 to get tattoos. (not others names lol just tattoos but we made appointments together. it was his first and i wanted to be there =] ) well anyway the entire day he ignored me and was on his phone. We had plans for that following saturday to go bowling because he had work, and i had school on VDay. I brought up the lack of communication on tuesday. He said he was sorry and would work on it. We confirmed plans that tuesday night, and wednesday morning i was dumped. (that was so not my idea of him working on it). Well anyway, it sounds like it may be a break up. I mean and if its not, it should be. there is no reason why he should not have replied then stood you up on your saturday plans and still has not spoken to you. if he didnt end it i think you should consider doing it yourself. My guy never did the dissapear thing. and i would be highly upset if he did. And if you are wondering if you two are over. you need to ask him. No one better to ask then the other person. If he doesnt contact you after that then you should just assume that it is a yes. Sorry for you situation.
Author PinkGal Posted March 23, 2011 Author Posted March 23, 2011 So today will be 6 days since not hearing from him. Any other thoughts? Is this guy just in his "cave" or whatever? Or literally is he just NEVER going to respond to me?
purplepanda Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 OMG thank you for saying this! He ABSOLUTELY does the same thing with plans...he wasn't good about making plans ahead of time...it would always be like the day of or a couple hours before. He never really cancelled on me...but like...let's say he said something that I was kind of bothered by...I would tell him it hurt my feelings...and even though I wasn't MAD or whatever...instead of just calling me and apologizing or talking to me about it...he would just disappear!!! Just dump HIM.
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