JohnnyCage Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 I wasn't sure where to put this but here it is and the mods can move it if this is not the right section. So the question that I have has nothing to do with me or my life. I see in many many movies/TV shows that someone dies and someone is trying to console a loved one of the person who died and they end up having sex or start kissing. I don't understand that and I need to know if that happens in real life too? I have seen it in too many movies and/or TV shows and I just cannot understand how anyone could possibly think of sex in those circumstances. For example in LOST this lady's father dies and when Jack tells her she gets all emotional and cries and starts kissing Jack. WTF??
utterer of lies Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 I wasn't sure where to put this but here it is and the mods can move it if this is not the right section. So the question that I have has nothing to do with me or my life. I see in many many movies/TV shows that someone dies and someone is trying to console a loved one of the person who died and they end up having sex or start kissing. I don't understand that and I need to know if that happens in real life too? I have seen it in too many movies and/or TV shows and I just cannot understand how anyone could possibly think of sex in those circumstances. For example in LOST this lady's father dies and when Jack tells her she gets all emotional and cries and starts kissing Jack. WTF?? Because it's a distraction, an escape from the grim reality.
brainygirl Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 And its mass entertainment and any chance to show naked people means more people will watch and so more money. In real life I've lost a few people I cared very much for, I was too busy grieving to even be aware the gender of the person next to me, let alone thinking about kissing them when my mom died.
bac Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 I wasn't sure where to put this but here it is and the mods can move it if this is not the right section. So the question that I have has nothing to do with me or my life. I see in many many movies/TV shows that someone dies and someone is trying to console a loved one of the person who died and they end up having sex or start kissing. I don't understand that and I need to know if that happens in real life too? I have seen it in too many movies and/or TV shows and I just cannot understand how anyone could possibly think of sex in those circumstances. For example in LOST this lady's father dies and when Jack tells her she gets all emotional and cries and starts kissing Jack. WTF?? yes, it does happen to some people. some people can not handle very negative events and it is a mechanism of defense to protect their mind/sanity (they refocus their attention on a very strong and positive distractor).
jane100 Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 When someone close dies, we often need comfort. Sex can be an enormous form of physical comfort, perhaps like no other. I think it happens alot in real life. It has happened to me.
brainygirl Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 yes, it does happen to some people. some people can not handle very negative events and it is a mechanism of defense to protect their mind/sanity (they refocus their attention on a very strong and positive distractor). Its about as healthy as downing a bottle of captain when you have a bad day or buying out the store when your boyfriend breaks up with you. And its not that common.
WillSingForFood Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 I forget where I read it off of, but it was a "first time I had sex" true story article, on some website, and it talked about how she regretted when it happened, but not who it was with. Her friend had just been killed in a car accident, her boyfriend/best friend came over to hold and comfort her, and while she was crying her eyes out, they started making out and it led to their having sex for the first time. So yea, it does happen.
jane100 Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 I don't see whats unhealthy about seeking love, comfort and reassurance in the face of pain and loss. Its very natural and human.
Author JohnnyCage Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 I don't see whats unhealthy about seeking love, comfort and reassurance in the face of pain and loss. Its very natural and human. I don't know how this could be reassuring. Someone close to you just died and you start screwing. For a man to get a boner or a woman to get wet they have to be in the right mindset. It just doesn't happen without thinking about it and that's what I don't understand.
brainygirl Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 I don't see whats unhealthy about seeking love, comfort and reassurance in the face of pain and loss. Its very natural and human. Seeking a pleasurable activity in order to avoid facing and dealing with negative emotions is a halmark of addiction type behaviors. Can sex with a spouse be reassuring? Probably so. But reaching for the nearest warm body of the correct gender in order to not feel the loss - that isn't healthy.
utterer of lies Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 I don't know how this could be reassuring. Someone close to you just died and you start screwing. For a man to get a boner or a woman to get wet they have to be in the right mindset. It just doesn't happen without thinking about it and that's what I don't understand. You hug someone, and then your body kicks in. Simple.
Lilmisus Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 When I found out my grandfather died from an accident about two weeks ago, I was completely torn up, especially since I had to work the next two days after hearing about it. Around every thirty minutes I would have to rush to the bathroom to cry or clean myself up, and I ended up having to leave early and find someone to work for me the next day because I couldn't take it anymore. As soon as my boyfriend at the time put his arms around me, I finally felt relief from the pain and felt more whole than I had for the past 16 hours. Kissing him and feeling that reassurance of comfort and love was exactly what I needed at the time. Although I wouldn't go as far as have sex under those conditions, I needed to be reminded of the happiness and love that I still had in my life and not focus on his death.
Author JohnnyCage Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 When I found out my grandfather died from an accident about two weeks ago, I was completely torn up, especially since I had to work the next two days after hearing about it. Around every thirty minutes I would have to rush to the bathroom to cry or clean myself up, and I ended up having to leave early and find someone to work for me the next day because I couldn't take it anymore. As soon as my boyfriend at the time put his arms around me, I finally felt relief from the pain and felt more whole than I had for the past 16 hours. Kissing him and feeling that reassurance of comfort and love was exactly what I needed at the time. Although I wouldn't go as far as have sex under those conditions, I needed to be reminded of the happiness and love that I still had in my life and not focus on his death. But why would you even think that just because someone died everything is over for you?? And you only realize it's not over unless someone comes over and you start making out or end up having sex? How about this one incident be about the person who just left this world and not about you? Does the dead ones do not deserve your mourning for at least a day or two?
Lilmisus Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 But why would you even think that just because someone died everything is over for you?? And you only realize it's not over unless someone comes over and you start making out or end up having sex? How about this one incident be about the person who just left this world and not about you? Does the dead ones do not deserve your mourning for at least a day or two? I didn't think, nor did I say that. But that is funny that you got that from my post. And of course they do. I'm still in mourning as it is. He was just trying to comfort me when he saw me at my weakest, and that comforting led to us kissing. No sex was, nor would have been involved; like I said, I wouldn't do that under such conditions. But what's so wrong about reaching out to others when you're feeling sad/broken or are in mourning? Should those who just lost a loved one sit around and cry for two days straight and not focus on feeling better at all? Or should their loved ones just sit back and watch them cry, and not try to comfort them even if it's just with a kiss or a hug, even though it might lead to a make out session or sex?
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