Madison310 Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 I'd be grateful for some advice on this as I am completely confused. I'm back on the dating scene after the breakup from hell last year. After months of feeling rubbish I feel really good about myself and I'm finally ready to date without comparing the guy I am out with to my ex. I was introduced to a guy by my family (its a cultural thing) to see if we might hit it off a few weeks back. We didnt get much of a chance to chat and lookswise he's not my usual type but he seemed like a nice guy so I figured there would be no harm in seeing where things went. The following day his family asked for my number to pass onto him but he didnt call (its unlikely they would have called me without his say so). A few weeks passed by and then out of the blue he texted me asking me if I wanted to meet up for coffee. He wanted to meet that week but I was busy so I suggested the following week but he was due to go on holiday. He then said he would text me on his return. So he got back and after a few days of not hearing anything, I texted him asking if he enjoyed his holiday. We continued texting like this and he suggested sorting out our coffee date. We agreed a time but as it happened his boss was away on holiday for 2 weeks so he was having to hold the fort in his absence. This meant lots of late nights and long hours. Nevertheless we met up on a Friday night (although he was held up at work so was late) and had dinner as we were both starving. Dinner went really well (although I wished he made more eye contact) and at the end he said he hoped we would meet again soon and told me to text him when I got home which I did. He then texted back thanking me for a lovely evening but not mentioning a second date. On the Monday he texted me asking me how my weekend was to which I replied but he didnt ask me out again. So a couple of days later, I took matters into my own hands and asked him how he thought dinner went because I couldnt tell. He said he though it went well too but he wanted to meet up a few more times which I agreed to. He also said I didnt give much away about what I thought of him during the date. He said he would check his work schedule and let me know about meeting this week. My issue is this....all communication seems to be through text which I don't like. I appreciate that he always replies no matter how late it is but still its annoying. I also appreciate that his boss has been away and his job is extremely demanding but still I would like him to make more effort. I also feel like I am always prompting him. Like yesterday I had to ask him how his work schedule is looking instead of him suggesting a day to go out. He did end up asking me if I had any plans on Friday to which I said no but he still hasnt got back to me and I sent him that text this morning!! I don't get it. I am an attractive intelligent woman who has made it clear that I'd like to see him again but he's so complacent. If he isnt interested, then why does he keep texting me and asking me out albeit in a very lazy way??
carhill Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 Next time a text from him arrives, respond: 'Call me' The same appliance he's using to text has voice features and, wonder of wonders, communication is so much speedier and more personal by using them. Myself, being a man, I merely call women. If they text, I call. They get three shots at understanding my style, then, if no joy, the nether. Most get it, even if they don't 'like' me
Breayanna Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 Two things come to mind... 1. You seem to be inside his head instead of yours. "What is he thinking? What is he doing? What does he want?" I would suggest coming back into your own mind. What are you thinking? What do you want? Is this guy someone you are interested in? Then stop texting and call him to speak directly to him. Is this guy someone that is mediocre? Then decide if he is worth your time. If not, move on. Waiting for him to move or decide leaves you in the waiting-to-be-noticed place. You are an attractive and worthwhile person. You can choose to be in the proactive position of making choices yourself. 2. Your stance of waiting seems to be giving him the power, rather than taking it for yourself. This may not be a useful strategy. You haven't even started a relationship yet and already you are at his beck and call. Just some thoughts.
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