betterdeal Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 The vacation pictures comment really amused me. I have been to several fairly boring parties before where people take pictures with these wild exaggerated looks on their faces and stuff...and two weeks later when you see the photo evidence on Facebook it looks like they were at some awesome party rather than the snorefest you attended. If you have time to take / pose for photos, it wasn't that great a party. A few weeks ago a friend of mine copied and pasted a status update from my ex to show me she was in a pretty miserable place. Their heart was in the right spot, but I asked them to not do that again as it sort of set me back a bit emotionally. The phrase "not my problem" comes to mind when things like that are sent to me.
Good Arms Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 (edited) what do you mean? Don't worry, dreamingoftigers wasn't referring to your message. There was a spam message there with a bunch of porn links! Edited March 23, 2011 by Good Arms
BenThereDunThat Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Serious question: Is it possible to reverse block? Like, if I block someone I'm trying to avoid and don't want to keep checking his page (so far so good, but I know I will have my moments)....does my block on him work both ways?
EyesWideOpen Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Serious question: Is it possible to reverse block? Like, if I block someone I'm trying to avoid and don't want to keep checking his page (so far so good, but I know I will have my moments)....does my block on him work both ways? Not that I've been able to find. The only way to completely avoid giving in to the temptation is to unfriend, assuming their profile is set for privacy. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that checking up on Facebook isn't something that should be avoided. Yeah, it stings to see your ex out their acting like a fool, being a completely different person, or moving on. But I would argue that the process of seeing all that drives the point home faster, and ultimately leads to a faster recovery. You're going to think about your ex anyways...and avoiding facebook just allows all the lingering questions to hang around. When you actually SEE them with someone else or acting in a way that disappoints you though, there's no space for questions. Just brutal answers.
betterdeal Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Serious question: Is it possible to reverse block? Like, if I block someone I'm trying to avoid and don't want to keep checking his page (so far so good, but I know I will have my moments)....does my block on him work both ways? It blocks them from seeing your profile and you from seeing there profile too, if that's what you mean.
BenThereDunThat Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 It blocks them from seeing your profile and you from seeing there profile too, if that's what you mean. Thanks. I have unfriended him but his wall is visible. I'm not normally one for self-sabatoge but this has been a tough one. Oh the evils and joys of fb....curse you Zuckerberg! Good luck all. eta: and yes, betterdeal, that is what I meant.
Binkini Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Uh, yes, I've done the same. At the time my ex-husband and I were separated after 12yrs together. He told me he wanted to make things work, yada yada yada. However I knew of some fugly chick that was interested in him, and I knew he was talking to her. Well, one day I opted to check her FB page out, mistake. There I saw pics of him and her, even kissing in some of them. Well that was a shock. I was sick over it, couldn't eat for a month. Of course I saved the pics from her profile as a reminder of his lies. I thought if there was ever a moment of weakness and if I ever had the idea of taking him back I could look at them and smack myself out of it. It has worked. Then I was in a relationship for approx. 9-10 mos. It wasn't a serious relationship. I didn't know he considered me his GF until 6mos in. I ended up leaving the relationship because it felt empty and I wanted more. He would on and off defriend me from FB only to friend request me later, kinda funny. As it stands now, we're still FB friends. We were always friends to begin with, since we've known each other close to 20yrs now, and that's how we'll stay. From time to time I check his page out only to see what he's been up to. More recently I've been in another relationship for over the past year. A couple of months ago we split up for a few days. I was mad over it (it was his choice afterall), so I changed my relationship status to single. Well, his sister saw it and called him, so he reactivated his page, saw it, and he actually got mad that I did that. Once we reconciled I changed it back. More recently he saw my sister and her friend chatting back and forth on one of my posts. Her name is Jessi and her profile pic is of her and her BF. Jessi mentioned to my sister that THEY should meet up. Well, him not really knowing how FB works assumed that Jessi was a guy (from the profile pic) and wanted to know why HE wanted to meet up with ME. Lord! Yes, FB can be taken many ways, a lot of times it does more harm to relationships than good sadly.
Good Arms Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 (edited) Serious question: Is it possible to reverse block? Like, if I block someone I'm trying to avoid and don't want to keep checking his page (so far so good, but I know I will have my moments)....does my block on him work both ways? Yeah, I think blocking is your only real option. That automatically defriends you as well. Neither of you can then see anything from the other. Defriending alone means you can still see their stuff on mutual friends' pages for example. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that checking up on Facebook isn't something that should be avoided. I can see some logic in what you're saying. I learned some truths about my ex when I kept looking at her FB in the early stages of the break-up. But ultimately I don't think it's helped me move on one iota, and what I saw HURT like hell. It's hard enough to accept they're not yours anymore, but to see evidence of them moving on so fast it makes YOU feel as though you were replaceable and discarded like trash. In fact, whatever I've seen there when I was snooping, insensitive comments, positive status updates, her social activities, even her changing her profile picture (never one of her) just gets me obsessing over what she's thinking, what she's doing etc, and insanely jealous. So I'd still say block as soon as you can, it's really for the best. Edited March 23, 2011 by Good Arms
EyesWideOpen Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 I can see some logic in what you're saying. I learned some truths about my ex when I kept looking at her FB in the early stages of the break-up. But ultimately I don't think it's helped me move on one iota, and what I saw HURT like hell. It's hard enough to accept they're not yours anymore, but to see evidence of them moving on so fast it makes YOU feel as though you were replaceable and discarded like trash. I can see that. My ex-husband hooked up with this really out there chick literally weeks after we separated. Up until that point he claimed things like how he couldn't see himself with anyone but me, I was his best friend and soulmate, he's lost without me...even a few times made scary references to how life wasn't worth living if "we" failed...etc ect. (these comments were very effective at inducing guilt, and keeping me around years when I should've just walked away). Yet within weeks of breaking it off he had posts all over this woman's FB page (and she all over his) about how in love they are, being soulmates, yada yada yada. I did feel completely discarded and replacable. But it also helped me to realize that he never actually loved *me*...but more so needed someone in his life to act as his emotional wet blanket. Me. Her. Anybody. So in that situation, it did sort of help me to see him in a completely different light. This in turn helped squash those annoying lingering what-ifs and I-wish-we-could-make-it-work feelings. Maybe I'm just weird, or perhaps it's just situational. I'm sure the fact that I was the dumper and not the dumpee helps. I needed to walk away, but felt like absolute sh*t doing so. So perhaps it alleviated my feelings of guilt? Regardless...if it's doing more harm than good on an emotional level...by no means do I mean to imply that you shouldn't block them out! Be true to thine own self - do whatever helps you to find closure and move on.
EmperorR Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 My ex still has my family on her fb she tried to add me I accepted saw pictures of her partying clubbing dancing with q bunch of guys and then in a relationship with some deucebag but she bid the relationship status from me but it wasn't hidden on his page. Since then that was a month ago I deleted blocked her and have had my fb deactivated. It's better not to know.
EmperorR Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Checked her fb today and well it actually helped, shes nothing but a clubber and drinker now with a kid at home and no job. Kind of made me think What did i ever see in her? Funny thing I was going through her pics and my mom commentated on one, why have you started drinking and clubbing
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