zengirl Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 So, my ex?boyfriend and I are going to talk later in the week about our relationship. We've been taking a "break." Background: We were going through a rough patch. He broke up with me, changed his mind almost instantly, but we then both agreed to a break -- we were allowed to see other people (my idea). I've been on 2 bad dates -- no kissing or anything even. I don't think he's seen anyone at all. So nothing really relevant in that department anyway. He says his problems are having unrealistic expectations and feeling like every little problem will become permanent (pretty impressed he told me these on his own, and I agree). I say my problems are that I can be overly negative and argumentative when I'm stressed and that I hide some of my true feelings and then get frustrated with him. We both had some problems communicating. However, we both miss and love each other, and want to develop a plan of attack to communicate better. I don't think either of us know how to start. We are both kind of "against" second chances with these sorts of things (and labeling it a "break" is I guess our lame attempt to overcome said rules). That said, I know many couples who've broken up (once, usually, in these cases, not the constant rubberbanding), gotten back together, and are married and happy now. So I don't think it's impossible for a second chance to work. Just the whole "Fool me twice, shame on me" thing springs to mind. Anyone have experience patching things up successfully? Any thoughts on how to go about creating a "new" relationship? I don't feel like we can just "pick up where we left off" and I know he's said he's scared as well. I know I definitely want more "me" time if we date again.
dispatch3d Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 assertiveness, no way. When the hell did this happen? Anyhow give it a whirl, if you're actually being as assertive with each other as you're pretending to be in this post it should probably go a lot better.
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