WillSingForFood Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 When would you tell someone that you love them in a relationship? Wait a few weeks, months, years? Would you ever tell them it during or after the breakup? Especially for the first time?
oaks Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 When would you tell someone that you love them in a relationship? Wait a few weeks, months, years? If I was sure I felt it I would say it. Would you ever tell them it during or after the breakup? Especially for the first time? Ahh. Tricky. Haven't experienced that one. Should've told her sooner.
Lilmisus Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 If I was sure I felt it I would say it. Agreed. But I personally feel that if you say it too soon then it could risk the relationship. If you say it too late then you can also risk losing them and making them doubt whether they are truly cared about and loved in the relationship. Ahh. Tricky. Haven't experienced that one. Should've told her sooner. I actually am "experiencing that" in the sense that I'm beating myself up for not telling my ex how I felt until it was too late. Still haven't told him, and have no idea what to do. Ah well, like you said, should have told him sooner.
zengirl Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 When would you tell someone that you love them in a relationship? Wait a few weeks, months, years? Sounds awful, but I guess I've always waited for the fellow to say it first. I've hinted at it when I felt it, but I never wanted to scare a guy away, I guess. My first BF said it WAY quick (almost scared me away, and I loved him too!), and my second BF was a huge commitmentphobe. So guess that habit has developed. I always want my own "I love you" so if I feel it, I say it a few hours or days after they say it. I've always responded with a kiss instead, except for the first BF who I ran away from (I was 16 and terrified)! Would you ever tell them it during or after the breakup? Especially for the first time? No. The commitmentphobe ex told me "I love you" after the last time I broke up with him, finally for good (he'd broken up with me and come back many times). And I really think he was a jerk for it.
Cee Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 My boyfriend and I are at that funny stage where it's too soon to say I love you, but we want to express strong feelings. Last week I told him I was "in love" with him. And the other day he said he was "crazy about me". But it's only been two months. Too soon, but I can feel that I am heading in that direction to love him. I don't think there's a precise timetable to say I love you. But I'd say during or after the break up is way too late.
Ricl Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 When you feel it you tell it. If it scares your partner away, tough luck. He/she will come around or you'd never have survived anyway. However, never pressure your partner into saying it back. Don't say I love you and stare at him/her waiting for a response. Just say it, and continue with what you were doing.
HappyPanda Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 my boyfriend told me he loved me after about 7 months of dating... I felt it at the time too, but for some reason, I couldnt bring myself to say it back until around month 9... Its different for different people. Im a firm believer in that the actions speak more to me than the words do. If that person does things to make you happy, treats you with respect and kindness, and looks at you that way ... Chances are, you already know that they love you. I certainly wouldnt be able to say it someone who had already or was in the process of breaking up with me though... If that person doesnt want me any longer, Im not going to try to change their mind, and Im certainly not going to humiliate myself in doing so. Call me prideful, but I couldnt do that to myself.
Feelin Frisky Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 I'd much rather be able to say "I'm in love with you" than "I love you". There's something I just don't believe about the expression "I love you". But there's nothing more sincere than really knowing and saying "I'm in love with you" or "I've fallen in love" with you. You can't fake that or phone it in. When to say it will make itself totally obvious. You can just blurt out I love you whenever you feel like it.
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