Eternal Sunshine Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I had this happen few times. Say you go on 1 or 2 dates with a guy and decide that you are not feeling it. You send them a message that there is no spark and wish them luck in their search. A week or 2 later they message you and ask to stay friends. WTF I mean those are complete strangers from online. To make things worse, they then start proposing that we catch up for dinner/drink/movie etc. I never know what to do in those situations. My gut feeling is that they still want to date me and are going about it in a round about way. Then there is also the fact that I have a busy life and enough friends and am not particularly interested to hang out with some random internet dude. But then I always feel like a bitch rejecting their friendship. I sometimes even get angry messages back....
somedude81 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 My gut feeling is that they still want to date me and are going about it in a round about way. Yup. But then I always feel like a bitch rejecting their friendship. Don't worry about it. The dude's goal hasn't changed.
USMCHokie Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I don't stay friends with women where we just didn't connect on the first date. You are definitely right that these guys are asking to be friends in hopes that you might change your mind one day. Don't fall into the trap. I honestly don't think you'll gain anything from their friendship. If they weren't compatible from a dating standpoint, why would you think they'd be compatible as a friend...? But then I always feel like a bitch rejecting their friendship. I sometimes even get angry messages back.... They'll get over it.
Mrlonelyone Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 (edited) It is just possible that he did not seethe text until just now. Text don't always go through at once. He may not have even noticed. He probably just wants to be on friendly terms as your are at least acquainted. Consider that for those weeks he could have been dating someone else. Don't assume he's pathetic... he did date you a bit. Edited March 21, 2011 by Mrlonelyone
zengirl Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 I had this happen few times. Say you go on 1 or 2 dates with a guy and decide that you are not feeling it. You send them a message that there is no spark and wish them luck in their search. A week or 2 later they message you and ask to stay friends. WTF I mean those are complete strangers from online. To make things worse, they then start proposing that we catch up for dinner/drink/movie etc. I actually have made a male friend this way, but we BOTH felt there was no spark (but greatly liked the conversation). It was acknowledged on the initial first date. And we're still friends. So, it's possible. However, in the case where one person clearly rejected the other, unlikely. Also, who needs to "catch up" with someone they met twice. It is just a bit weird. Agreed. Some other guys I didn't click with, or even go on a date with, I have actually introduced to friends. Two of my friends are dating guys who initially wrote to me online, but I thought they'd be better for them. I never know what to do in those situations. My gut feeling is that they still want to date me and are going about it in a round about way. Probably. Especially if you get that vibe. Then there is also the fact that I have a busy life and enough friends and am not particularly interested to hang out with some random internet dude. But then I always feel like a bitch rejecting their friendship. I sometimes even get angry messages back.... I would just say, "I didn't feel we clicked enough to develop a real friendship, but I definitely wish you good luck." I get mean messages online too. Guys on those sites can be bitter, man. I guess it's rough. I just delete any subsequent messages, if I've already been clear.
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