jupyter_flew Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Hi everyone, I met this great guy online and we hit it off. Fast forward to the third date, one thing lead to another and we had sex (my idea). I freaked out and accused him of using me as a booty call, called him an a-hole and really let it loose. I drove him away. I am so upset with myself. He refuses to reply to my texts and told me to have a good life, he was done. I completely understand his point of view, but I am really not a bad person at all. I just lost it for one reason or another. I am willing to do anything to get this guy to forgive me. I sent him a very heartfelt email and when I realized he had me blocked, I mailed it to his house. I'm sure at this point he thinks I'm a stalker. Is there anything more I can do? Any advice? TIA.
MutteringUrchin Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Leave him be for now. It's too intense and needs to cool off. You're not ready for an intimate, steady relationship right now. You may think you are, and that's fine -- it's sweet to be close to someone, we can all relate. But you're just not ready. You have issues with sex and an above average fear of being used by certain men or people. Fixing this is tantamount to the health of your future, as of yet, unhad relationships.
Author jupyter_flew Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 Leave him be for now. It's too intense and needs to cool off. You're not ready for an intimate, steady relationship right now. You may think you are, and that's fine -- it's sweet to be close to someone, we can all relate. But you're just not ready. You have issues with sex and an above average fear of being used by certain men or people. Fixing this is tantamount to the health of your future, as of yet, unhad relationships. You're right; I divorced a year ago because my spouse was cheating on me. I'm terrified of men now. I'm just disgusted that I could ruin something so easily. UGHHH.
ascendotum Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 My only advice would be to now leave this guy alone, and learn from the experience. If I got called an a'hole after having sex with a woman on the 3rd date at her instigation...I would have done the exact same as this guy. Subsequently hearing from the woman how she was sorry she over reacted would not change things for me, having experienced such drama/mood swings so early on.
MutteringUrchin Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 You're right; I divorced a year ago because my spouse was cheating on me. I'm terrified of men now. I'm just disgusted that I could ruin something so easily. UGHHH. Don't be hard on yourself. You have feelings, you hurt, and there are issues many people have. You need to heal yourself. I know it's tempting to let romance sooth the pain, but it won't last and you'll get worse.
nddb Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 He did the smart thing by bailing on a potentially unstable person/relationship. Now do the smart thing and go to counseling. Save the next guy some heartache.
Imajerk17 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 You're done. Anything more and you risk of being labeled a stalker. As in restraining order. I agree with nddb that you need counseling.
Darren Taylor Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 The only thing you can do is leave him alone. He thinks you're crazy and that rant you gave him pushed him away. Just for the record, there's no such thing as using someone for sex. Unless one party was raped, the whole thing was consensual. No one was used. In your case, obviously you flipped and didn't mean what you said. But still, please get some help. You pursued him for sex, then flipped on him.
Author jupyter_flew Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 He did the smart thing by bailing on a potentially unstable person/relationship. Now do the smart thing and go to counseling. Save the next guy some heartache. Yes, thank you. I agree. And I know what I did was LAME and HORRIBLE. But knowing that now doesn't change what I've done.
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