rubberjohnny Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I am in a relationship with a 21 year old female. I am 25 years old. Last thursday march 17th I exploded on her. All of my built up tension I released. Our relationship is not healthy in several aspects. I know with time and hard work the areas that are unhealthy could grow into healthy aspects. She has a very hard time communicating and dealing with feelings. Thats why I cant say anything to her because she does not know how to deal with some one elses feelings. So after months of holding stuff in I let everything out at once and not in a nice way. I said some hurtful things to her, personally attacking her instead of trying to point out the real issues. By the end of the night I apologized and told her I was in the wrong. At the point she said she needed some space. here in lies the problem. She told me she still wants to be with me but needs space. So the first day I didn't say anything to her. second day comes a long she texted me "good morning" I responded good morning only to get a response "I was just saying good morning i dont want to talk" so I gave her the space she asked for another day. that night I was telling her I still want to get engaged i had planned on proposing to her in two weeks. She said "then lets be engaged". Of course I said yes but as soon as I started being affectionate saying I love you and miss you she went straight back to " i need my space" Her previous remarks confused me i'm still baffled. She has been avoiding any type of conversation pulling out the i need space card. Its really irritating me because she is getting her advice from a girl that has a really bad dysfunctional relationship with her boyfriend. I approached her today about the needing space thing. She replied "youre smothering me". I'm still scratching my head i'm so confused. I let her know that she is confusing me and she replies "i need space". I told her instead of telling me she needs space why don't you tell me why you need space? Its my attempt at correcting what ever problem that she still has. i told her "people give each other space because something is wrong in the relationship. I'm only trying to find out and fix it" So she told me "you expect me to be all lovey duvvy to you after what you said last week?" I told her I wasn't expecting anything. there are so many problems in this relationship but right now this is the biggest one. I'm confused I don't know whether to walk away or stay. How long am I suppose to let her ignore me before I'm allowed to say something about it?
Author rubberjohnny Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 Well in the end I broke it off with her. She wound up telling me I have nothing to offer so i ended it.
missmac Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 next time a girl tells you repeatedly that she needs space - give it to her, tons in fact...... act as if all that space between you had literally made gravity force you apart. Sometimes people need space - but if shes overreacting when you roll up to say and says STOP SMOTHERING ME then shes just being a drama queen and wants everyone to feel sorry for her. Bitc$es be crazy!
Author rubberjohnny Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 Space is something everyone needs. I understand this. But if you say I need space and two days later you're talking and texting to me sweet things and future plans and the next day say i need space again is not ok. Its playing games and no one wants to play those.
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