nicknock Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Hi So i met this guy who id seen out and about a lot. He asked me out and we had this amazing first date! I mean, couldnt have been any more perfect in my book. The way he acted and the things he said, suggested he felt the same. Im rarely attracted to men so soon, but it honestly felt unbelievably electric and comfortable! So the following week, we sent a few texts, but didnt arrange anything else. Then on Friday he drunk text me, (which he'd done a few times actually and suggests he was thinking about me). Anyway i ignored the message, then went out with friends on Saturday, he was there and came and sat with us, was being very flirty etc then as i was leaving to go to a party, he said, if you were to invite me then id come along! So i said great ok, then he said oh actually im not sure, text me later!!! Ermmmm ok, confusing. So i did text him later but he said he was shattered so didnt fancy it, but did say he would really like to see me. Then he asked what i was doing the next day , i said why, do you want to meet and he sent back some non commital reply! So yesterday, i thought ive had enough of this, hes giving out all these signals that hes interested, sitting with me and friends, inviting himself out (which takes guts in my book), ill just ask him rather than waiting around. So i asked him if he wanted to meet up and his response was, sorry but im going to be too busy with work not, im going to be busy with work but would you like to meet in a few weeks, just point blank, im too busy !!!!!?? WTF!!!! The way we met was all very odd, we kept bumping into each other in different places for like 6 months! He made loads of comments about fate etc ( which i dont believe in but it was funny that he said it) , on our first date he stayed over, but both agreed not to do 'anything', which again suggested he was more interested than just a one nighter. I really dont get why he'd invited himself out the night before, was really nice, attentive etc, then done a complete u turn over night!? Im 30 and hes 29 , so we're not kids, this stuff should be a lot easier right! So any opinions welcome, i think the obvious one is that theres someone else on the scene maybe!? x
MutteringUrchin Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 So the following week, we sent a few texts, but didnt arrange anything else. Then on Friday he drunk text me, (which he'd done a few times actually and suggests he was thinking about me). Anyway i ignored the message, then went out with friends on Saturday, he was there There's the problem. A: He committed the cardinal sin of drunk-texting. A sin I can comment no further on, knowing no details. B: You ignored it, went out the followed day, and he was there. It doesn't matter if things were flirty; such are face-to-face interactions between singlets. From the moment of the drunk text and ignoration, the entire relationship was steered in a different direction. In order to get it back, you must address that drunken text and why you ignored it. Don't sit him down in threatening lighting and be all "We need to have a serious discussion about the text", but mention it. Hey, you could even text him and mention it. One thing to remember is that although you have every right to ignore texts whenever you want to, you must take responsiblity for ignoring him that day, and be big enough to ask him if it affected him -- and if it did, that it was unintentional. If he's mature enough, the relationship will open up.
Author nicknock Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 If it was about the drunken text, then why would he invite himself to the party if he was bothered? The text wasnt about anything to do with 'us', it was asking the answer to a stupid funny question, didnt really require a response the next day i dont think. And again, if id asked him out after the drunken text , that suggests that im interested doesnt it!?
jupyter_flew Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I'm sorry but to me, it sounds like he is playing games. I would employ the no contact rule. Good luck!
MutteringUrchin Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 If it was about the drunken text, then why would he invite himself to the party if he was bothered? The text wasnt about anything to do with 'us', it was asking the answer to a stupid funny question, didnt really require a response the next day i dont think. And again, if id asked him out after the drunken text , that suggests that im interested doesnt it!? Everything was fine, right up until that Saturday. Before the Saturday was that legendary textual moment on the Friday. It's the only logical conclusion. As said, there's zero harm in bringing the fact that you ignored him up. I'll give you two reasons: 1: if ignoring him had no effect on his consequent behaviour, you now know it's somethiing else. 2: That something else has now been given airtime by the mere fact that a conversation regarding his altered behaviour has begun. If he still denies anything is wrong, then you're either not as close to him as you thought or something else is up.
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