yessy21 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 ok so... the guy that i was hanging out with a while... and i had had sex. he has insisted in seeing me twice last week but i couldnt...and then we had planned to hang out saturday night. i told him sure to come over. but i wasnt home yet because i was hanging out with friends ... he text me around 12 am and said he was heading my way... and i text him back... sorry cant make it... the truth was i was having fun and a little drunk... and i didnt want to drive... so i just slept there with all my friends. he text me back 'ok' but i figured he must have gotten upset. he hasnt text me anymore. the truth is if i liked him that much in that perspective i probrably wouldnt have blown him off.... but i still want to be able to call him whenever i want to "hang out". Should i let it go? or should i text him? How should i go about this? I respect your thoughts and all opinions are welcome.
MutteringUrchin Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Give him room. He has a brain. Meaning that if you're coming to the conclusion that "perhaps I don't like him enough to call off my plans" then he, too, has also contemplated this. He was most likely offended and/or hurt. Give him a while, then call him and apologise. Or, text him and apologise. Take responsiblity.
carhill Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 OP, what's your FWB arrangement? I presume you and he have talked this out prior to or after having sex the first time. Essentially, what I'm hearing is you desire the physical pleasure of sex with the non-invested expectations of casual friends. That's fine as long as *both* parties are disclosed and proactively agree. Any insight?
Author yessy21 Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 OP, what's your FWB arrangement? I presume you and he have talked this out prior to or after having sex the first time. Essentially, what I'm hearing is you desire the physical pleasure of sex with the non-invested expectations of casual friends. That's fine as long as *both* parties are disclosed and proactively agree. Any insight? welll the thing is... he didnt say we were only seeing each other for sex. but i mean its a little obvious. he did text netflix and sex sooo i mean thats what we want from each other. he hasnt mentioned being with me in any other way. he did ask me if i was with anyone else. i said no. because im not technically sleeping with anyone else... he mentioned that he didnt want me to sleep with anyone else. i responded back with "i see." but he didnt establish anything and neither have i. we just text each other when we want to. i believe. at least thats what i do. I dont want to come across as a jerk. he is a nice guy.
carhill Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Easy solution: Sit down with him face to face and square things away. Example: 'I enjoy having sex with you and am not looking for anything more. I have a full life and enjoy the company of other men and women and don't expect to be exclusive sexually or romantically with anyone right now. What's your perspective?' Listen. Obviously, change the above as appropriate to match up with what you want from this 'arrangement'. Whatever you do, do it face to face. If you can face each other with his penis inside you, you can talk about this face to face. That's part of being an adult. Good luck
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