jeff2321 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 It has been 7 months since my split with my ex and I still have very very bad days. I know that I'm not fully to blame for the break down of the relationship, but I am responsible for a lot of it. I look back and there are things that I said and argued about constantly that make me feel like such a dick. I could have been so much better to her and it's no wonder why she left me the way she did. I wasn't completely horrible to her, but I wasn't the best either... She was great in so many ways and I miss the life I used to have everyday. I am strugging each and every day to get my life back on track and I have a hard time beliving that I should deserve anything good in my life at this point. How do you get over the regret? How do you let yourself be happy again? I feel like I was given a shot at having a great life with a great girl and I blew it. I feel like a horirible person everyday. Just so you know I have been NC for the entire 7 months except for one phone conversation 30 days after she left. I had to put NC in place because the pain was so bad and I knew she didn't feel anything for me after she left. I knew if I stayed around as her friend, I'd get really hurt because she was ready to date new people immediately. I got rid of facebook, all her pictures, everything. It's been 7 months and I haven't even seen a picture of her, heard her voice, or seen her facebook -- I am afraid to see any of those things because I am not over it. What do I have to do get passed the regret ? How do I feel better about myself? Jeff2321
2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 (edited) Was it really all your fault. I tended to do this with my situation and keep blaming myself but she played an equal part in it too. It's been about 4 months VLC and there is nothing there now, we have nothing to talk about and I am now going to really implement NC for good. Your right it does hurt to see FB and any other things associated with her, it seems naturally to keep holding on but it just prolongs the pain even more. I have learned this over the last 4 months and I don't do it now because the only person you can influence and change is you, not her. It is not easy to ignore the pain but you must not put her on a pedestal and think it was all our fault and you screwed up - unless you really did! What actually happened with the BU if you don't mind me asking? 2011 Edited March 21, 2011 by 2011
Good Arms Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I feel what you're feeling. Four months on, and I can't get past the thought that EVERYTHING was my fault, that I let a dream girl slip through my fingers, And I have no clue how to be remotely happy anymore. I've tried to do NC but it's not really possible as I see her at work... previously hardly ever, but over the last 2 weeks every bloody day. It's definitely setting me back. 2011 is right. Again, don't know exactly what happened, but I'm sure it wasn't all your fault. I think the dumpee automatically walks away with all the guilt and regret of a relationship ending; in truth, it's usually a two-way thing. It takes an honest, good person to recognise that they made mistakes and not just blame the dumper for abandoning them.
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