todd Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I don't know how long its been since I went NC (Probably a little over a month). I broke NC once in that time on fbook when she messaged me asking why we couldn't still be friends. I told her something about how I couldnt be friends with her because I still want more then that and we both need time to move on and figure out about ourselves without the other. She said she missed me and thinks about me A LOT and all the time. I held my guns and went back to NC. She has sent me crumbs on a weekly basis. The week before spring break she sent me another facebook message saying, Happy Friday! Have a Great Spring Break!!... NC..(Along with liking just about everything I comment on with our mutual friends or on my own page). I got back from my spring break this weekend and noticed she removed her relationship status of single. She has been dating this other guy who just moved about 1000 miles away and apparently they are taking the next step. I kind of figured this would happen but didnt know it would hit me so hard. Up until this point I thought I could handle anything I noticed on her fbook but this set me back a little. I decided to defriend her on fbook so I wouldnt feel the need to check her profile anymore :/. It would help a bunch just to have some reassurance that what I am doing is right and any tips to help heal and move on easier. I still am always wondering when I will get the next crumb so I know she is still thinking of me etc. Its been a rough day...
Chi townD Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Yeah, you did the right thing. That FB page was holding you back as far as the healing process you need to move on. You seem to be doing eveything right. I know it isn't easy, but keep up the good work!
kimnjj Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 like to get attention from every angle. I am older and wiser now , but when I was younger I was the same. She still thinks she has you dangling and you were smart enough to cut the fishing line. Trust me , I am sure your actions are speaking loud and clear to her. You are in a tougher spot right now because you are hurting more than she is. Do not be friends ( it's a waste of time ) and good job and the NC . I think that is usually the hardest thing to do for anyone. Getting her off FB , also good thing. Keep busy but you are on your way to healing. There is nothing like feeling like you are swimming against the current , now you're going with it.
Author todd Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 Thank you very much Chi and Kim for your responses. I definitely appreciate the reassurance. Its hard getting someone out of my mind that I was so attached to for the last couple of years. Hopefully the next month I will be that much further down the road to healing and opening up the possibility of dating others again. My mind though, is still hoping we will get back together down the road when she discovers whether she loved me just as a best friend or as something more, but I need to stop thinking like that and just try try to move on and get to a place where I can get through a day without thinking about her and wondering if this is the day she will leave me a message or try to call. I definitely think I am starting to make some steps to getting past her though, partly because of the threads and posts I read on here. Thanks again guys.
JasonRules Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 So your ex girlfriend is telling you she misses you while at the same time pursuing a relationship with someone else. Sounds to me that you're simply the backup plan because she's not so sure about the new guy. Personally, I would defriend her from FB entirely and go TOTAL MIA. Next time, she texts you BS about missing you, don't be the nice emotional and understanding guy. Text her the following: "Listen, not sure if you remember but it was you who broke up with me. This is what YOU wanted. You made your bed, now sleep in it". And that's it. She will reply back, but you need to end it there and not reply at all. She needs to realize that you respect yourself and are not some little puppy to be manipulated like that. The "honeymoon" stage with the new guy will wear off quickly. You need to be distant and she will start remembering all the moments you had etc and then doubt will be created in her mind about the new guy.
depplover_1980 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I would ask yourself if you could ever trust her again. It amazes me when people would want to get back with someone who is so disrespectful to them...
Author todd Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 Its not like she has ever cheated on me. She is younger then me and we are both in college. We both saw a future with each other but she didn't know if I was really the one since she had never been with anyone else before (GIGS). I completely understood and realized she was going to date other guys, I am just not going to stand around anymore and wait for her to find out while I am a back-up plan for her. I am focusing on myself without her in my life and that is why I went NC over a month ago and do not plan on breaking it. I am in NC and that will remain even if she says she misses me, because that really means nothing until she acts on it in some way that shows me more then just words and talk.
depplover_1980 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Its not like she has ever cheated on me. She is younger then me and we are both in college. We both saw a future with each other but she didn't know if I was really the one since she had never been with anyone else before (GIGS). I completely understood and realized she was going to date other guys, I am just not going to stand around anymore and wait for her to find out while I am a back-up plan for her. I am focusing on myself without her in my life and that is why I went NC over a month ago and do not plan on breaking it. I am in NC and that will remain even if she says she misses me, because that really means nothing until she acts on it in some way that shows me more then just words and talk. Now THAT is more like the spirit Todd.
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