Timbo22 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I dated this girl for 3 1/2 years and we have been broken up for 1 1/2 month's just for some history. She dumped me because her school has been very stressful and she said she lost herself. I really think its the case of the GIGS. I was handling NC pretty well until I was cleaning out my closet and found a note she wrote me. It cut me down to nothing, It basically said during tough times hold on strong. So I gave in and sent her the note...She responded very fast and just said Tim... A few minutes later she said nothing would make her happier if we could be friends. She added me back on facebook and we started texting all-day catching up... Here is where I need the help, Before I went to bed I asked her if she wanted to see this upcoming movie. We both read the book together that I bought for us. Anyway she responded by saying "lol I promised katie I would go with her but ill see it twice I guess lol" she told me the date it came out and seemed excited. Anyway It's driving me insane now...Does it seem like a sign? I really dont know how to handle it, It also is a love story movie. I don't want to mess up and I really want to make her want to initiate hanging out with me next.
joshextreme Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I dated this girl for 3 1/2 years and we have been broken up for 1 1/2 month's just for some history. She dumped me because her school has been very stressful and she said she lost herself. I really think its the case of the GIGS. I was handling NC pretty well until I was cleaning out my closet and found a note she wrote me. It cut me down to nothing, It basically said during tough times hold on strong. So I gave in and sent her the note...She responded very fast and just said Tim... A few minutes later she said nothing would make her happier if we could be friends. She added me back on facebook and we started texting all-day catching up... Here is where I need the help, Before I went to bed I asked her if she wanted to see this upcoming movie. We both read the book together that I bought for us. Anyway she responded by saying "lol I promised katie I would go with her but ill see it twice I guess lol" she told me the date it came out and seemed excited. Anyway It's driving me insane now...Does it seem like a sign? I really dont know how to handle it, It also is a love story movie. I don't want to mess up and I really want to make her want to initiate hanging out with me next. Seems fishy. I'd say do some light flirting to see if you can reel her in. Ooh look at me with my fish jokes lol
marqueemoon4 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 you're being dragged into the friend zone, never to return. i'd be weary.
No_hope Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 Don't bring up the break up, don't ask about relationships, don't ask her questions like if she is dating someone. And don't be all touchy feely, but I mean a hug when you meet or and or before you depart is good. and don't forget to look GOOD!
0hpenelope Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 Dude... A few minutes later she said nothing would make her happier if we could be friends. I don't think LS format will have other options to emphasize "she said," so I will write it out again. "she said." She said she will be happy if you can be friends. mm4's right in pointing out that you're getting dragged into the friends zone, but if you can keep your head level and you don't let your emotions cloud your judgment and influence your actions, you just might be able to pull this off. I think No_hope's given pretty good suggestions. You sure you want to do this? Good luck.
Author Timbo22 Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 Yeah it's what I want, If i get put in the friends zone I get put in the friends zone I guess. I just hope I haven't lost my touch to make her laugh again. I have my looks going for me that's about it, So I will try to be calm and confident. She was always very attracted to me and so were her friends. But we shared such a bond it didnt even matter. I really thought I would have a better chance of winning the lottery then our relationship ending. If we end of being friends so be it at least I tried and maybe one day she will realize what shes missing. And thanks for the advice everyone it really means alot to me and it does make me feel better.
0hpenelope Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 Yeah it's what I want, If i get put in the friends zone I get put in the friends zone I guess. I just hope I haven't lost my touch to make her laugh again. I have my looks going for me that's about it, So I will try to be calm and confident. She was always very attracted to me and so were her friends. But we shared such a bond it didnt even matter. I really thought I would have a better chance of winning the lottery then our relationship ending. If we end of being friends so be it at least I tried and maybe one day she will realize what shes missing. And thanks for the advice everyone it really means alot to me and it does make me feel better. Some exes come back for good. I hope it works out for you.
Author Timbo22 Posted March 23, 2011 Author Posted March 23, 2011 I can't do it, after everything we had together it will just be impossible for me to be her friend...Ill just melt all over again. Now that she added me back on facebook she looks like shes having the time of her life. Out with all her friends plus old friends... It makes me feel 10x worse, I never wanted to make her feel tied down. Yet she could never talk to me. "I love you, dont worry about it". Thats all she would say... Anway I sent her a facebook message explaining why I cant do this. deleted her and I'm not going to look back. I love her more then anything, It's been 2 months and it feels like day 1 still... I never knew I could be this week and dependent on one person. She wanted me to depend on her, we planned for the future. It's just impossible to try and be her friend...It's so funny how one person can love someone no matter their flaws and how much they change. I would have never let go of this girl, and she knows plenty of women have tried stealing me away from her...Including her bestfriend, who she is talking to again lol... Idk
radiodarcy Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I can't do it, after everything we had together it will just be impossible for me to be her friend...Ill just melt all over again. Now that she added me back on facebook she looks like shes having the time of her life. Out with all her friends plus old friends... It makes me feel 10x worse, I never wanted to make her feel tied down. Yet she could never talk to me. "I love you, dont worry about it". Thats all she would say... Anway I sent her a facebook message explaining why I cant do this. deleted her and I'm not going to look back. I love her more then anything, It's been 2 months and it feels like day 1 still... I never knew I could be this week and dependent on one person. She wanted me to depend on her, we planned for the future. It's just impossible to try and be her friend...It's so funny how one person can love someone no matter their flaws and how much they change. I would have never let go of this girl, and she knows plenty of women have tried stealing me away from her...Including her bestfriend, who she is talking to again lol... Idk i know what you mean. i too thought i could go against advice and be friend-zoned by my ex. but it's just too hard. especially now that he's actively dating and looking for "the one" - - which apparently i never was - - ouch! " he's far from perfect but i love him flaws and all. but i had to break out of that friend zone because i love him. and as long as we stayed friends i'm always going to want more. you made the right call by deleting her off fb. nothing hurts more than being in pain over an ex and log into fb and see her having the time of her life. better to have recognized that you couldn't do the friend-zone now than have stayed in there indefinitely; or worse - - stayed there until things blew up b/c you couldnt handle it - - and you wind up on the outs again.
0hpenelope Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 I can't do it, after everything we had together it will just be impossible for me to be her friend...Ill just melt all over again. Now that she added me back on facebook she looks like shes having the time of her life. Out with all her friends plus old friends... It makes me feel 10x worse, I never wanted to make her feel tied down. Yet she could never talk to me. "I love you, dont worry about it". Thats all she would say... Anway I sent her a facebook message explaining why I cant do this. deleted her and I'm not going to look back. I love her more then anything, It's been 2 months and it feels like day 1 still... I never knew I could be this week and dependent on one person. She wanted me to depend on her, we planned for the future. It's just impossible to try and be her friend...It's so funny how one person can love someone no matter their flaws and how much they change. I would have never let go of this girl, and she knows plenty of women have tried stealing me away from her...Including her bestfriend, who she is talking to again lol... Idk As long as your decisions are good for you and in your best interests, bud. That's all that really matters.
name witheld Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 Good man, from your last post it looks like you would have crumbled for sure had you gone ahead with things. Being in the friend zone is ok as long as thats where you want to be, which is obviously not true in this case. Talking to an ex is not a good idea but its better if they are doing most if not all of the running (if its only most at best be honest with yourself how much running are you doing?). Successful relationships are about balance and value. You obviously value this one but its not balanced, probably because she doesn't. This means you would have to put more in that you would get out (this is only ok for short spells in a healthy relationship) and again upset the balance. But you see that so sit back and soak up the charms of all these other ladies, you'll move on in no time! Its always good to **** a friend of hers so fire away my son. Just don't let the ex find out otherewise she will come running (fake) and distract you from moving on.
Author Timbo22 Posted March 27, 2011 Author Posted March 27, 2011 Ok this is crazy last night I headed out to the mall quick to get some clothes for a party i was going to. Sure as **** i as soon as i get in the mall my ex gf is walking out as I just got in with her friend. She was starring at me and she came up to me to try and aproach me, I just kept on walking. I didnt even acknowledge her. I looked back and she was still there, she looked at me and kinda put her hands in the air. 1st of all what is this bs? sure as **** 3 hours later i get a texted "Thanks for being a ****ing dick when you saw me" I have no clue how to respond or even if I should? I really need some sound advice on how to handle this. Does she still care, She knows I cant be her friend. Idk any thoughts?
0hpenelope Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 She cares but not in the way you want her to. It bothers her that you didn't say hi because SHE'S the one who wants to be your friend. Just as your ego hurt when she ended the relationship, it's her ego now that's hurting because she can't have what she wants and that is to have you as her friend. It's up to you if you want to react to that.
Popondetta Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Of course she cares about you still!!! I would write her a simple reply. Something like: "Sorry about that. Didn't mean to upset you, but I was just not prepared to see you there and didn't know what to say"----or whatever you feel like writing (IF you decide to reply). I realize that it's impossible for you to be friends with her, but in my opinion it's much better to just be polite if you/we ever bump into our ex. (Say a quick hi, how are you? and then tell her you've gotta go and that it was nice seeing her.). That will make you look like a mature, calm guy who doesn't freak out. Best of luck to you! (Greetings from girl who's bumped into her ex and realized that I feel much better if I just smile and say hi.)
Author Timbo22 Posted March 28, 2011 Author Posted March 28, 2011 I texted her back, telling her I was sorry the way I acted I was just so shocked...She texted me back saying her dad is in a coma in the ICU. I said I was very sorry and I cant imagine what your family is going through. She said thanks, and It this is no time to try and talk to her any further...
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