Eddie Edirol Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 This entire topic has made me feel so much better about my situation. I can relate to everything said here and it really opened my eyes to my own personal matters. I'm moving on from a girl who also needs "time to find herself" and I'm pretty sure she means to get back with her ex who cheated on her after he asked her to marry him. So be it, I treated her incredibly and if she can't return it or respect it then theres no point in me waiting around for her to change her mind, because I am pretty damn confident that she will get hurt by that guy again. By then I'll probably be in a much better place...her loss. She got with you after THAT relationship?? Oh man, you were a rebound. She had baggage that you could do nothing about. She used you to get over him, you never had a chance - and it didnt work. Watch out for rebounders!
Author kingofhearts Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 *UPDATE* Ok, so I broke NC this past Monday. She was sending me sobbing text all day that day and it had only been one day of NC. I got a call through a mutual friend that she was crying on the phone, saying she misses me and that Two things about are relationship had bothered her. I told him that I'm not trying to talk to her, but if all it takes is to fix these two things, then, I will. He suggested that we sit down and talk about our problems. I said cool. I Sent her some comforting text messages and met up with her for dinner that day. She was really open and confessing about the problems and missed me a lot and said that those things were bothering her. I surprised her by telling her I already fixed one of the things and I was working on the other, but she tells me it's a few more things outside of that. The conversation was a breakthrough in communicating our problems, but not progressive as far as our relationship status. We kissed and went about our business. Wed. it seemed like everything turned into the same. Granite she works two jobs. She still didn't answer my text as much. She used too, but lately it has been this way. No interest in what I'm doing whatsoever. Now, She keeps pushing this "friends" thing and I don't want to be friends, so I thought I'd still ask her where do we stand. It almost turned into a heated discussion. She was suggesting that we should just "do our thing" as I clarified to her as "seeing other ppl" and this set me off. I told her I wasn't going to sit on the sideline and wait like I'm her bit{h. She keeps putting this on me like I'm the one who needs to go out and have fun. Anyway's, She ended up hanging up on me and I told myself I just need to go back to NC and I shouldn't had broke it in the first place. She blows up my phone like crazy with crazy text saying that I should go find someone better etc. only to say she doesn't mean the ****. After that, I sent a text saying it was going to be my last, lol, which wasn't saying that, I treated her good, wanted to marry her, but refuse to be her bit{h, and I hope someone treats her better than I could. She blows my phone up again. I don't answer. Then sends me a text saying "lI love you and always will. Why won't you talk" I text back and said. "It hurts to be rejected and put aside, I dont deserve it" She keeps texting "I love you I swear I do" and I txt "Your love isn't fixing this relationship". Anyway, I called her later that day and we got some things patched up. We set to hang out Thursday. We went to the movies and had a good time. I slept over her house, she was on her period so no nookie. lol. Fast forward. Today. She explained to me that she wasn't looking for no other guy and that she wants to get back to where she was financially, but still wanted to find our spark and is suggesting it through the break. I argue that her stress and two jobs are putting a divide on us and we need the opposite and that's MORE TIME TOGETHER. I don't know if she just wants to call herself single or what. I'm so lost, because she has repeatedly stated being against moving on, but if it happens it does, but wants to try to find us again. I'm lost with no answers. I plan on going NC after tonight. This is getting really stressful. What you guys think? I gtg, but I'll fill in more later.
fetish Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 hmmm. sounds like your girl is struggling with not knowing what she wants. I would simply tell her by text that i love her, but all this emotional back and forth is not good for my mental and emotional health. Suggest that she take some time out and figure out what she wants out of life because it's not fair to you. Then go NC and treat this relaitonship like its a done deal. Work on moving on and really try to forget about her for your own sanity. As eratic as her behavior is showing, If you keep giving in to everything she keeps throwing at you, I'm thinking you might end up with a broken heart because her mind is going to change again. Just my .002 though. Take it or leave it.
Author kingofhearts Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 hmmm. sounds like your girl is struggling with not knowing what she wants. I would simply tell her by text that i love her, but all this emotional back and forth is not good for my mental and emotional health. Suggest that she take some time out and figure out what she wants out of life because it's not fair to you. Then go NC and treat this relaitonship like its a done deal. Work on moving on and really try to forget about her for your own sanity. As eratic as her behavior is showing, If you keep giving in to everything she keeps throwing at you, I'm thinking you might end up with a broken heart because her mind is going to change again. Just my .002 though. Take it or leave it. *UPDATE* Thanks for everyone's input and thanks fetish. Well me and a friend hung out with her and her friend tonight at the club. Guys were approaching her and buying her drinks etc. She tried her hardest to brush them off and I noticed. Now..... I been out with her PLENTY of times. None of this has ever bothered me, but since I knew we were split up and she is free, I felt insecure for the first time in our relationship... EVER. At this point I knew something was wrong and I needed time to think to myself. I pulled her to the side and let her know that I noticed that she was brushing guys off, but it bothered me and that I felt stupid for doing this "friend" thing with her. She asked why? and said "You see I'm not trying to talk to none of these guys". I said yeah and reiterated that I've noticed and said "If we still feel like this, then what is all of this for?". I told her to not let me ruin her fun and I went and got a beer. We all had a dance and then her and her friend went to the bathroom. Me and my friend were looking around for them for the next 20min. I text her and she text back that she was at home. I sent her a text that said, "A heads up would've been nice. I'm not mad, but right now I'm an emotional whirlwind and this is the last time you will see me. sorry..." After this night I found that it wasn't about trying to figure out what the problem is.... It's about the self destruction that I am putting myself through. She has little to no affection towards me and this is becoming a dead end. I believe that she really still loves me and maintains a degree of loyalty, but this has made me feel unwanted, unappreciated, used, and miserable and I say that with emotional tears in my eyes. I'm a good looking guy too. Sorry for the ego, but I never have a problem attracting women and yet I feel like this..... sigh..... This really hurts... I'm so let down by this. I just knew she was going to be the one. I don't understand at all. NC begins.... Thanks for being patient and supportive everyone.
Little_Bee Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Yes, it hurts and will for a while but don't let her play with you and your feelings. NC is the only way you can slowly come over her. I know exactly what you are feeling as I'm going through a fresh break up my self and everything is hurting and screaming and just want touching base with the person again to only for a moment not to miss the other and maybe even have hope. But that's what would destroy us as we have to learn to let go and carry on.
Author kingofhearts Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 (edited) Thanks little bee, I know what you mean. It does hurt, but its for the best. She text me back this morning saying "the last time ill see u?". I'm not responding. As much as I would like to and express my feelings. I feel like its just one big circle. I honestly thought I was going to the able to break NC And have good news for you guys because there was no sign of infidelity and she still had a bit of loyalty, but this is turning out to be like every other story on these forums. If you are reading this and going through a breakup, just stay NC.... the option won't fail either way it goes. Edited March 26, 2011 by kingofhearts
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