flyer1988 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Ok guys long story short. I found my exgirlfriend talking to this guy for 6 month. the guy is 36 or so and she is 20. the guy is a college professor. now she claims that they would just message each other saying hey what r u doing and stuff like that. Now before anything the teacher knows my girlfriends family since like 5 yr ago since my ex girlfriend mom works with the professor. Now she claims that it was just a friend thing. like they would just say hey what r u up to and stuff like that. Anyways I found out about all of this and broke up with her and told her parents what was going on. She got all pissed off and said why did I have to involve her parents into this. Obviously I was shoked and saw this wrong. Its been 2 months since, and we started talking again, during this time she has gone clubbing and stuff. We have been together for 4yr and half so she was 16 yr old, I was the second guy she has been with and we have a 3yr old soon together. Now she claims she loves me but her parents dont let her be with me since they are afraid of me snapping out and doing something dumb like hitting her and stuff. and no it has never happened. Now when I have talked to her she claims she has never been with anyone, and I asked her to tell me the truth but she wont really tell me anything other than summarize everything i already know. I asked her if she would do a polygraph test and she said no!!! that her word should be enough. Obviously i dont believe her. All she says is " if you really thought/knew i was with someone you wouldnt be with me "... what should i do or what do you all recommend I should do to get the truth... I really just want to know if she has done something with someone and i know many will say to forgive her or to just leave her, but my thing is I really want to know if she has slept with someone or done anything. How can i like convice her to tell me the truth or do you all think shes really did do something.... In addition she has mentioned that she loves me and her parents wont let me be with her and she wants to move in with me cause she loves me and wants to be with me together.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 You could be paranoid, she might have cheated. I guess you want to be certain she cheated so that you can stop dating her? You need to gather the peripheral evidence of a cheater so you can determine from that if she cheated. If she bought new clothes, acting different, less affectionate to you, less sex, she is probably dissappointed that her friends get to date whoever they want and she is stuck with you at your age. She might be working on this teacher by texting him, she might have actually slept with him. Even if she didnt sleep with him, she might want to, which means she isnt emotionally connected with you anymore. Sounds to me like if you have to think she is cheating, then the relationship is over anyway. You seem to only want to know to feed your ego, but you dont need that. Just stop seeing her.
Author flyer1988 Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 Eddie I really feel paranoid. And yes i do feel like I just want to know if she did cheat on me or not inorder to move on. I really do want to know if she did not do anything though. Cause I really feel we can work it out again. If she did cheat on me I will defenitly move on. But if she did not I dont want too lose her since she is the mother of my son, and I love her.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Eddie I really feel paranoid. And yes i do feel like I just want to know if she did cheat on me or not inorder to move on. I really do want to know if she did not do anything though. Cause I really feel we can work it out again. If she did cheat on me I will definetly move on. But if she did not I dont want too lose her since she is the mother of my son, and I love her. Then if she cant say "no I did not cheat on you" then you stay until you find evidence.She wont say yes, but the relationship will never be the same anyway because now you will never trust her, you cant live like that. You might as well move on anyway.
JasonRules Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Dude, I will sound harsh but here goes: Just because a guy talks to some girl doesn't mean they are having an affair with them. I used to coach a girls volleyball team. I'm in my upper 30s and they were 17-18. A couple of the girls were quite friendly and they would text me. It was never inappropriate and I always kept it friendly. Did they have a crush on me? Perhaps they did, but I would never risk my reputation/job over something so foolish. You assuming she was cheating on you was a mistake. You telling her parents is also a mistake. When a couple has a problem, no one should get involved, not even the parents. Asking her to take a polygraph test sounds pretty insane and borderline paranoid. If you don't trust her, then break up with her.
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