Author Nick Diamond Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 Thanks for all of your input, guys! I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks she's acting crazy. I guess what blows my mind so much, other than the fact that we've been friends for over a year and she just suddenly went cold on me, is that she has had the nerve to say that I'm trying to get too close, when she's the one who has openly admitted to trying to get close to me, and still continues doing it even though she's "trying to distance herself" and push me away! Perfect examples: 1. A couple of months ago, she came up to me at the gym and made it a point to let me know that she had parked next to me at work. Then, her exact words were "Every morning when I get to work, I look for your car, and I try to park as close to you as I can." 2. On two different occasions, she followed me from the gym to wherever I was going once I was finished, without my knowledge or approval, and got out of her car and said "I'm stalking you some more." And she's all the time texting me, asking where I am or why I'm not at the gym or at work. Much more than that has happened, but I think those are two good examples. This is my honest opinion of what's going on (other than she has some major issues), and I could be 100% wrong about this, but I just have a hunch. Please feel free to criticize this theory, if you disagree : Ever since I've known her, she's always talked about being very independent. Also, she has openly admitted to having commitment issues of all kinds and literally being scared of commitment. Again, she's told me about past experiences with people, being burned and whatnot. This isn't the first time we've started to grow close and she back off; however, it is the first time she's gone completely cold on me. Before this, we have talked literally every day since we've known each other. I think this time, she realized she was growing closer to me than she has before, and maybe even started falling for me. Then I started getting closer and a little more aggressive, she started feeling pressured, and backed off as far as she could and as quickly as she could. So she still parks next to me and smiles at me at work so that I keep her in my mind and we keep a minimal connection, while she takes a breather and figures out what she wants to do and how she wants to handle the situation. In the meantime, she's putting the blame on me since I was pushy, which will make me want to apologize, which will make her feel justified for her actions ... Or I could have just stepped over her boundaries and she is just pissed off at me.
dreamingoftigers Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Holy crap, she is 38? Wow, that's bad.... Do not approach..... Repeat do not approach......danger..... Seriously have as little to do with her as possible. Poor boundaries, very poor. When people say that they have been burned etc, it is a flag because those who dealt with it wisely set up reasonable and clear boundaries to prevent it. They don't tend to advertise it.
dispatch3d Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Thanks for all of your input, guys! I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks she's acting crazy. I guess what blows my mind so much, other than the fact that we've been friends for over a year and she just suddenly went cold on me, is that she has had the nerve to say that I'm trying to get too close, when she's the one who has openly admitted to trying to get close to me, and still continues doing it even though she's "trying to distance herself" and push me away! Perfect examples: 1. A couple of months ago, she came up to me at the gym and made it a point to let me know that she had parked next to me at work. Then, her exact words were "Every morning when I get to work, I look for your car, and I try to park as close to you as I can." 2. On two different occasions, she followed me from the gym to wherever I was going once I was finished, without my knowledge or approval, and got out of her car and said "I'm stalking you some more." And she's all the time texting me, asking where I am or why I'm not at the gym or at work. Much more than that has happened, but I think those are two good examples. This is my honest opinion of what's going on (other than she has some major issues), and I could be 100% wrong about this, but I just have a hunch. Please feel free to criticize this theory, if you disagree : Ever since I've known her, she's always talked about being very independent. Also, she has openly admitted to having commitment issues of all kinds and literally being scared of commitment. Again, she's told me about past experiences with people, being burned and whatnot. This isn't the first time we've started to grow close and she back off; however, it is the first time she's gone completely cold on me. Before this, we have talked literally every day since we've known each other. I think this time, she realized she was growing closer to me than she has before, and maybe even started falling for me. Then I started getting closer and a little more aggressive, she started feeling pressured, and backed off as far as she could and as quickly as she could. So she still parks next to me and smiles at me at work so that I keep her in my mind and we keep a minimal connection, while she takes a breather and figures out what she wants to do and how she wants to handle the situation. In the meantime, she's putting the blame on me since I was pushy, which will make me want to apologize, which will make her feel justified for her actions ... Or I could have just stepped over her boundaries and she is just pissed off at me. I don't think her current behaviour justifies 2 paragraphs of thought. She's an angry bear and she should cut it out.
Gala Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 If I were you, I'd make sure to have those texts from her stored. She sounds really unstable, is absolutely playing games with you, and could try to rustle up some kind of personnel action against you if she's having a bad day. Be careful!
Author Nick Diamond Posted April 3, 2011 Author Posted April 3, 2011 It just now occurred to me that this woman is a Pisces. That explains everything.
CloudLiver Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 Dude, go for someone else. Stop looking at cruddy astrology and go for someone who obviously isn't trying to mess with your head. Remember, don't let anyone steal your joy!
updown Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 something sounds off with her. yeah, you could say that you pushed her boundaries too much, too hard, or something like that. but, she's also 38 yrs old! she needs to be able to communicate with you like an adult. even just a simple, "i'm feeling overwhelmed by this closeness. i need to back off a bit" kind of statement. i'd say staying polite with her, but not close is probaby the best option. keep things NON personal, but, be sure you're not being rude. good luck!
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