Jen1981 Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 So here I am 4,5 months after my break-up and I feel so liberated, free and excited about my future! I feel as if there's a thousand doors open and I feel an immense relief that I now have the ability to be a little selfish and focus only on me for a change even though I still grieve and cry from time to time! *My boyfriend broke up with me in the most horrible way anyone could imagine in november. We were together 10 years, he broke up in an e-mail and I have since found out that he got together with a mutual friend just weeks after the break-up! They possibly had an affair while we were together. The first 3 months were hell and I couldnt talk about him without bursting into tears! I was a complete wreck and had to take a long leave from work. I was in very low contact with a few e-mails the first few months but after I went complete NC things have just improved so much!! The past months though things have just gotten better and better....I was promoted and got a MAJOR pay-raise! My social life is improving and Ive gotten loads of attention from men. Many of them say they gave me just as much attention when I was with my ex....I guess I just didnt notice! Ive finally reached that stage where I can say "that's his loss" and I feel hopeful about my life! I know I will probably relapse at times and I still go through days of sadness but things are slowly getting better! Today I can honestly say I dont want him back and this weekend I finally deleated him and the "friend" who is now his girl-friend as friends on Facebook and I finally have a sense of freedom! Yes Im acting like a teenager flirting with guys and staying out all night...but that's ok because I'm now my only responsibility and I will never again let myself become as co-dependent as we were! I have learnt from all this and will continue to learn but it takes time and a lot of will-power! You will be ok! There is hope! Im living proof that you can survive a dramatic and devastating break-up!! Take care, take this opportunity to do all those things you wanted to do but couldnt while you were in a relationship! I promise you'll be ok!!
Fern Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Go you! Love posts like this! I've been feeling like you for a while and I just had a little grumpy day today where I let the situation annoy me again. But your post has helped snap me out of it. You're right - it IS their loss!
NoEnd_Mary Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Thanks for the post. It's encouraging to know that you are doing fine. I was in a good stage these past 9 mos from NC. But then the ex emailed me and unfortunately I opened it. I really thought it was a suicide letter or something but to my dismay found it was a letter stating he cheated on me during our rel. This outraged me and I feel like I've lost the progress I made the past 9 mos. I was doing SO well before. I was dating, attracting new men. And now I don't know what to do. I feel so hurt and angry. I don't want to start the healing process all over again!
stopthemadness Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Good for you!!! Most days i feel pretty good too.. about 8 months out of bk now. Starting to feel free too, aint it funny once we let all the heart ache go. I still have bad days. Weekends are the hardest. But GOOD FOR YOU keep up the good work........
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