joshextreme Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 So for holidays my ex would make me notes and got me presents and such. Most of the stuff I lost in a move. This stuff did mean a lot to me. I want to give this stuff back to her because seeing it kills me. Mind you I'm 16 without a license so I can't just drive over to her house and give this stuff to her. I was thinking that i could just put it all in a plastic bag, tie it up, and give it to her close friend to give it to her so that way I don't break NC. I could do all this in school without making a big deal. We've been NC for 8 days now and I do miss her a lot. Do you guys think this is the right thing to do or should I take another route?
0hpenelope Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 So for holidays my ex would make me notes and got me presents and such. Most of the stuff I lost in a move. This stuff did mean a lot to me. I want to give this stuff back to her because seeing it kills me. Mind you I'm 16 without a license so I can't just drive over to her house and give this stuff to her. I was thinking that i could just put it all in a plastic bag, tie it up, and give it to her close friend to give it to her so that way I don't break NC. I could do all this in school without making a big deal. We've been NC for 8 days now and I do miss her a lot. Do you guys think this is the right thing to do or should I take another route? If an item was given to you as a present, it's yours to do what you want with it. Instead of returning to her teddy bears and presents that aren't letters, have you considered donating them instead? Personalized notes, letters that you don't want... recycle them. When you want to get rid of stuff from the ex, that's usually the sign that you're making an honest effort in removing your attachment from them. You will miss her for a long time, but having those presents from her out of your possessions for good will help you so much.
Author joshextreme Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 If an item was given to you as a present, it's yours to do what you want with it. Instead of returning to her teddy bears and presents that aren't letters, have you considered donating them instead? Personalized notes, letters that you don't want... recycle them. When you want to get rid of stuff from the ex, that's usually the sign that you're making an honest effort in removing your attachment from them. You will miss her for a long time, but having those presents from her out of your possessions for good will help you so much. Well what I was thinking that if she got the bear and notes back then she would probably text me. Which then I would just ignore to show her that either she can talk to me about getting back together or don't talk at all.
Art_Critic Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 What do you think she is going to do with the stuff ? Returning something like bears or letters that someone gave you is a passive aggressive act and would be meant to hurt them because you are hurting but not help you. Don't give items back.. throw them out or put them in a box and put them in the attic.
Author joshextreme Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 What do you think she is going to do with the stuff ? Returning something like bears or letters that someone gave you is a passive aggressive act and would be meant to hurt them because you are hurting but not help you. Don't give items back.. throw them out or put them in a box and put them in the attic. It would be the fact that I'm giving back this stuff that I now don't care for. I see your point tho.
robinseggblue Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 If you`re trying to show that you don`t care, giving love notes etc. back to her is definitely sending the wrong message. Throwing them out is a much better idea. Donate the stuffies as OhPenelope says. It would be much more effective for you to do this, and then sometime in the future when she asks you "Do you still have those things i gave you?" you can say "Nah, I threw those out a LONG time ago." Much more effective. Good to hear that you are still staying strong! Please remember though. Doing less is doing more. Basically anything you "do" with her in mind, will be construed as "interest" on her part. Girls have a sixth sense for stuff like that. I know it's hard not to, but you can't if you want her to come back.
SingVoice Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Joshextreme- Just get rid of it. You know the only reason you want to give them back to her is because you are somehow trying to have any form of contact with her. Be honest with yourself...don't be immature. Just get rid of the stuff. Be mature....
EmperorR Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 you want to know what I did? My former best friend I dated her, she dumped me through text I said nothing, the very next day I mailed back everything she gave me ups signature required I was angry and did that, the best thing is like what other people mentioned just throw it away.
TryTryAgain Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 I gave back some things to an ex when I was younger. Thought that it would some how sting her a bit. What I didn't anticipate was finding the Tiffany's necklace I gave her for Valentine's Day on my doorstep that very next day when I got home from work. No note, no phone call, nothing. Just the necklace. That is now the lasting memory I have of her. Stings pretty bad. Don't give any of that stuff back. You will regret it.
Author joshextreme Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 I gave back some things to an ex when I was younger. Thought that it would some how sting her a bit. What I didn't anticipate was finding the Tiffany's necklace I gave her for Valentine's Day on my doorstep that very next day when I got home from work. No note, no phone call, nothing. Just the necklace. That is now the lasting memory I have of her. Stings pretty bad. Don't give any of that stuff back. You will regret it. I guess. Thats what I wanted to do is just make her feel the hurt I've been feeling the past month and a half and the 9 days of NC. But that's why I come here and post things like this. Because if I did everything that popped into my head then I'd be Fked lol
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