is2008 Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 For those that haven't read my NC log it's here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t263197/ Anyhow, I'm making a fresh post for those that are really struggling with NC. I am 2 months + from a breakup of 6 years. I was completely broken and just couldn't manage NC. I went LC for a little while but now I'm day 13 into NC after stating I refused to be friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm not over the moonbut I am making progress now after being put in this horrible situation. My self worth and respect is UP, my confidence is UP, my anxiety and stress levels are WAY DOWN, I've started to smile again, my sleep is not broken anymore (after 2 months + of broken sleep) and I'm starting to see the relationship for what it was... something she was willing to participate in if it served her purpose. NC is getting easier too. I used to dread weekends because I just couldn't cope without her, now I embrace them a bit more. I've got free time to do what I want when I want. I've also overcome my fear of driving on the motorway! I'm proud of myself for not crawling back for more abuse. It's not all roses though. Every time I walk past the phone, I expect it to ring, I expect it to be her. I do think of her too. What she's doing and when. But that's becoming less and less frequent. One piece of advice I'll give is you'll only move on if you truly allow yourself to. For 2 months I looked at her photo on a 2 hourly basis. I couldn't help myself. I burned them all to CD and put them away... I've not looked at it for over a week now. Acceptance is key, and NC is the tool that'll help you succeed. When is it the right time to get back in touch? As a dumpee I'd say not whilst you've still got feelings for them. You may think you're ready after 3 months... you won't be. For me, I'll probably get back in touch with her after a good 2-3 years... maybe. Or just accept her as a part of my past that I don't want to delve into. Would I take her back? Yes, of course. I love her... but only if she came to the UK and grovelled. Can I see it happening? No. So I'm maintaining NC. Good luck all.
betterdeal Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Once you stop framing it as dumpee and dumper, you'll know you've moved on a lot.
Thatguyintx Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Once you stop framing it as dumpee and dumper, you'll know you've moved on a lot. Great point. When you start to accept the breakup in it's totality, rather than analyzing each part, you have made a huge step towards healing. I needed that positive reinforcement for a Monday morning! Thanks!
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