kimnjj Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I need to know if anyone else has gone through this. I was living with my boyfriend. Blended our finances and families. Life was great. Started arguing too much. Some started by me , some by him. I am a firecracker and have a short temper. I guess because I have never been touched before I felt like it would never happen. First time he cornered me in a room about something. I screamed back in his face with not so nice words and pushed him . He pushed me to the ground. I got up and pushed back and let the room. Second time we argued he took his laptop that only I use and ran to a room with it. Baiting me so to speak.I followed him and smashed open the door. It hit him in the head. We wrestled around pushing each other. He ended up punching me in the face with his fist. The rest of the story , I will leave out because it brings up to many memories. We are both in therapy. These are sides we have not shown to others in the past. I am verbally agressive and he is abusive. We are not living together right now because it is toxic. Ideally this is the person I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. Is there too much damage done to turn back ?
depplover_1980 Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 You will need to as individuals address your tempers and then identify the underlying source for such aggressive behaviour. Once personal problems have been discovered you will then need couples counselling, where you will discuss what you have both learnt and how to interact more effectively going forwards. It is however a huge risk and not a guaranteed success because it may be you are deeply incompatible, which was why you were arguing in the first place. Use your time alone to search deep and be honest about this relationship, as a bout of singledom may be more valuable in the long run.
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