Lionblue92 Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I just have to know...can anyone tell me how they would benefit from having a long distance relationship? And im not even talking about with someone who has lived in the same state at one point where the two people knew or used to go together. Im saying, meeting someone online (facebook, myspace) and then talking to them for awhile and deciding to pursue a relationship..instead of being with someone who lives in the same state. Can you really benefit from that? Pro's..cons? what does this say about the guy/girl that is decidingto do this? is this a good rebound technique after a break up?
Pyro Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I can only speak for myself but I wasn't purposely trying for a long-distance relationship. We started talking and we clicked and everything fell into place. We discussed our desire to want to be together on a more permanent basis and the end result is her moving here. If the discussion was never brought up then IMO there would no point of a LDR.
Author Lionblue92 Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 what if your 18 years old? and u knew youll never see that person. that it will always be communication thru phone, video, etc? is that really better than being with someone u live near?
Pyro Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 what if your 18 years old? and u knew youll never see that person. that it will always be communication thru phone, video, etc? is that really better than being with someone u live near? at 18 you should be out meeting multiple people and gaining some very valuable experience. At 18 you shouldn't be tied down to someone whom is no where near you ESPECIALLY if you will never see them. My fiance and I would have never pursued a relationship if there were never plans to see each other.
Author Lionblue92 Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 hmm. yeah, thats my point. so do u think having long distance communication like that is a way to get over an ex tht u live in state with? what do u think that says about a person tht is willing to do something long distance when they can never see the other? and do u think that u can fall in love/cant be without somebody like this...or do u actally have to physically be with tht person?
Pyro Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 hmm. yeah, thats my point. so do u think having long distance communication like that is a way to get over an ex tht u live in state with? what do u think that says about a person tht is willing to do something long distance when they can never see the other? and do u think that u can fall in love/cant be without somebody like this...or do u actally have to physically be with tht person? try it and let me know. I only used time to get over someone. if they can NEVER see each other than its pointless. For me I have to be with the person. Again it is pointless if you are not.
NightForgotten Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 A relationship is 50% emotionally as much as it is physically but granted I believe a relationship should be more emotionally. People have funny and different ways to get over an ex, for me I was in the same boat but I did meet my online friend once after knowing him for 7 plus years and after my ex broke up with me I guess you can say and yes I feel that I used my friend to slowly get over my ex but in the end all it caused me was having to choose between him, who I fell deeply in love with, and my ex , it was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make and it hurt me that no matter what decision I made it would hurt someone, and in the end I picked my ex. If someone is willing to have a relationship with someone who is LD I think that speaks a lot about their feelings and what they are willing to do for you. My online friend wanted that relationship with me, but he was willing to travel to see me and I was at the time willing to transfer schools to be near him. And yes I do believe you can fall in love with them because I know I did.
LittleTiger Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 If you fall in love with the right person and they happen to live thousands of miles away, it's worth it - provided you're both committed, can see each other regularly and there's some way for you to be together permanently in the future. If you're 18 years old and there's no chance of you meeting in person I would recommend you get on with your life and meet people in your own town. An LDR is NOT a good way to get over another relationship. You should never use any relationship to get over a previous one. That's not healthy and it's not fair on the other person. What exactly are you hoping to achieve by getting involved in this LDR?
NightForgotten Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I agree with LittleTiger on NEVER using another relationship to get over another, I was selfish and childish in what I did, all I did was hurt myself and someone I truly did love, it backfired on me hard. But in the end I learned my lesson.
Author Lionblue92 Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 actually im not the one using this. my ex, whom i broke up with about 2 weeks ago, is now i a long-distance relationship with someone he apparently was in a long distance relationship with for about a month before me. i dont know why they broke up. infact when we were together he told me tht she was someone he was just friends with, but he never mentioned her being out of state. but now they arekind of together, knowing tht they are never going to see each other, and to me it makes no sense. i cant help but feel like he is using this girl emotionally to get close to, to move on from me. but it seems so pointless to me, and kind of lame on his part..cause he cant move on with someone that he can actually SEE.
folieadeux Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I don't think anyone chooses to deliberately be in an LDR; my SO and I have always been LD. We met one night at a show and the rest is history. It was never a choice for us; we do what we do to be together until we can live together permanently. LDR's aren't for everyone, but they can and do work. Getting into a relationship with the sole purpose of it being a rebound is never a good idea (LD or not) and your ex's new relationship shouldn't really be of any concern.
aerogurl87 Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 I just have to know...can anyone tell me how they would benefit from having a long distance relationship? And im not even talking about with someone who has lived in the same state at one point where the two people knew or used to go together. Im saying, meeting someone online (facebook, myspace) and then talking to them for awhile and deciding to pursue a relationship..instead of being with someone who lives in the same state. Can you really benefit from that? Pro's..cons? what does this say about the guy/girl that is decidingto do this? is this a good rebound technique after a break up? I think it depends on who you want to be in a LDR with. I've been in 2 LDRs and only one worked out (the one with my current boyfriend). First one I saw no pros other than I don't lose my best friend. But the cons were plentiful like not being single when I wanted to be, worrying about this person who I knew was a flirt, feeling forced into a relationship, and a big risk for heart break. With my boyfriend, I saw that he had all the qualities I wanted in a lifetime partner and I trusted him. Plus he was hella cute and we got along great. He became my best friend over time and other than the fact that I knew leaving him when we had to part and the cost of plane tickets, there were no cons. And I did benefit from it because now we live together in his country.
SuburbanOblivion Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 Being in any kind of relationship is not a 'technique' as much as you want to tell yourself that. It might make you feel better to tell yourself that he is using her to get over you, but if he was seeing her before he broke up with you, it sounds like he was already over you before he had the balls to tell you as much. I could try to explain to you about long-distance relationships, but I'd be wasting my breath. This isn't about that, it's about you wanting to make excuses to yourself over why something that is not your business won't work out so you can hope he'll eventually come back to you. The fact is the guy is a douchebag who cheated on you, you don't want or need him back, and what he does now is not worth the energy of your thoughts.
Author Lionblue92 Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 No....I broke up with him over two weeks ago for a completely different reason, he did not break up with me. he did not expect that i would break up with him, or do it the way i did..(over the internet, but he kind of left me no choice, and deserved it to an extent) I also never said that he cheated on me. I jus said that while we were together, he kept in contact with a long-distance ex (whom hes never met) ...but that is not why i broke up wth him. it was for a different reason. infact i didnt know she was an ex or lived out of state until shortly after we broke up. Anyways i realize now that they are not actually committed, but they talk. She talks to guys everywhere, and he talks to her, and whoever else he finds out/in of state, in the future i guess . so no this isnt about making excuses i just wanted to know how someone could benefit from dating, talking to..w.e. with someone who lives out of state, whom they have never met..and cant really see. however i do see how its convenient emotionally, being that shes an ex..distance or not.
Author Lionblue92 Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 Being in any kind of relationship is not a 'technique' as much as you want to tell yourself that. It might make you feel better to tell yourself that he is using her to get over you, but if he was seeing her before he broke up with you, it sounds like he was already over you before he had the balls to tell you as much. I could try to explain to you about long-distance relationships, but I'd be wasting my breath. This isn't about that, it's about you wanting to make excuses to yourself over why something that is not your business won't work out so you can hope he'll eventually come back to you. The fact is the guy is a douchebag who cheated on you, you don't want or need him back, and what he does now is not worth the energy of your thoughts. But you are right about that, what happens between him and other people is no longer worth the energy of my thougts.
TokyoG33kyGal Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 so no this isnt about making excuses i just wanted to know how someone could benefit from dating, talking to..w.e. with someone who lives out of state, whom they have never met..and cant really see the benefit of that (based on what the reasons you posted) is, you can depend on someone emotionally with no strings attached. however, we can't say that's the case with your ex.
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