tincanman99 Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Is it true that women want men to be direct with them and tell them straight up that they find them attractive and want to date them? From my readings many men are indirect, obfuscate and hide their purpose ie. I want to date you. I know I am guilty of this. Hit me with opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Of course it is!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Romeofud Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Contrary to what ever you might've heard about women want this & that, it's all about what they respond to. It took me until my late 20s to finally get this message lol. With women, especially the young ones, if that's what you're looking for, you gotta act fast; flirt, tease, etc. Personally, I use my eyes more than any sort of come on to hit home with her. Works more ways than I can count. Dont ever get into some big chitchat with her. She's got girlfriends for that, unless you just wanna be friend-zoned. I say, go straight for the jugular: "hey, Ms. Lovely, you dropped something just now." "hey, Lady-longlegs, I saw what you just did." those are some similar lines I've used, rinsed & repeated. Worked like a charm at least 8 of 10 times lol. I get a phone #, facebook, whatever. It's all in your approach and dont be serious about it. If she ignores you, laugh it off and just keep it moving. The next girl or the one after that will be more than willing to get your attention. Try it out and see how it goes, if you're into that sort of thing like me . If you're the shy type and not used to approaching, I suggest you work on casual friendly comments with people throughout the day to get you out of the "can" and into the cooler air. Link to post Share on other sites
jane100 Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Yes please! Its very attractive, if its done in a certain way - exciting, positive, genuine, etc. Ideally, you could try and get some indication of the woman's interest first however subtle. Then go for it (sigh)! Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Yes if you're attractive Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 'I enjoy spending time with you' Can be obfuscation or a direct reflection of the person's feelings. 'I love you' Can be obfuscation or a direct reflection of the person's feelings. I've experienced the gamut and have only 'hidden' my true feelings where expression of such was inappropriate, like where/when a woman is married or otherwise attached. I don't ever recall a woman complimenting me for my directness, though many were not reticent about providing an honest, if occasionally painful, response. A typical one was 'I don't feel that way about you'. It is what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Direct, but savvy. I like approaches that make sense to me. I like being asked for my number after a flirty conversation. I can be a shameless flirt when attracted to someone and I am over the moon if he reciprocates. I don't like being asked for my number when it's a completely cold approach and he doesn't know my name or anything about me. Or I don't know anything about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tincanman99 Posted March 20, 2011 Author Share Posted March 20, 2011 (edited) Direct, but savvy. I like approaches that make sense to me. I like being asked for my number after a flirty conversation. I can be a shameless flirt when attracted to someone and I am over the moon if he reciprocates. I don't like being asked for my number when it's a completely cold approach and he doesn't know my name or anything about me. Or I don't know anything about him. I understand what you are saying in regards to the cold approach and not liking it. I am more talking about guys who flirt, dance around it but take an eternity to open their mouth if ever. Leaves the woman trying to figure out his intentions. Instead of doing the hinting for an eternity just be straight ie. I find you attractive and I would love to take you to dinner. Edited March 20, 2011 by tincanman99 Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 I am more talking about guys who flirt, dance around it but take an eternity to open their mouth if ever. Leaves the woman trying to figure out his intentions. Instead of doing the hinting for an eternity just be straight ie. I find you attractive and I would love to take you to dinner. I come from a culture of bluntness so generally appreciate when people (and men) are direct. I did have one dating experience though with a high context communicator whose every sentence could be interpreted both as flirtatious interest OR as just being polite and 'gentlemanly'. I thought he was the most amazing man I'd ever met so it teased me tremendously and drove me totally up the wall. I loved it in a morbid kind of way. I'm still not sure how much of it was on purpose and how much was just him being himself. Link to post Share on other sites
mr.dream merchant Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Mild flirting for a couple minutes, lots of smiling, good posture, then go for it. That's my approach anyways. But I've been told that women don't want it to be too easy for them, ie. if it's a woman that you'll be seeing around several times out of the week, supposedly you've gotta play hard to get and drop subtle hints here and there before making the move...not sure how credible that advice is. Personally I like being straight forward, saves time and wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Nothing wrong with being direct. Just expect the directness back, especially if it's an answer you might not want to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Is it true that women want men to be direct with them and tell them straight up that they find them attractive and want to date them? This is irrelevant. I am by direct by nature and wouldn't change myself to cater to them. But sumdude is correct...being direct will usually get you the same directness back... Link to post Share on other sites
Author tincanman99 Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 This is irrelevant. I am by direct by nature and wouldn't change myself to cater to them. But sumdude is correct...being direct will usually get you the same directness back... I can take the directness, its better than guessing and what I usually do. Link to post Share on other sites
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 From what I've experienced, this is the worst thing you can possibly do. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I like approaches that make sense to me. I like being asked for my number after a flirty conversation. I can be a shameless flirt when attracted to someone and I am over the moon if he reciprocates. I don't like being asked for my number when it's a completely cold approach and he doesn't know my name or anything about me. Or I don't know anything about him. I feel the same. If I've chatted with someone (even just for ten minutes), got to know him a little, and established a basis of mutual interest which gives him a valid reason for asking for my number, it's all good. But I'm turned off if a guy asks for my number without even talking to me. He doesn't even know anything about me, has no idea if he likes me, so why is he asking for my number? It is attractive when a man shows interest in me, because it boosts my self esteem and makes me feel good, and I associate that good feeling with being around him. Also it makes him appear to be a confident man who goes after what he wants. If he expresses his interest, I start to think of him as a potential romantic partner. I recall one guy who chatted to me and said outright "You realize I'm trying to hit on you, don't you? Cos you're really beautiful". I blushed, giggled, felt great, and started to think of him as a confident man who I might really be interested in. Link to post Share on other sites
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