ReturnToSender Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Ordinarily that would be a great thing I guess, but right now I feel so blah about it. I nearly had the courage to talk to the guy at work I wrote about, but then while on break I got the chance to talk to some of the servers that were on break too... They were just asking about me, general stuff...when one of them asked how old I was. Being coy I said..well how old do you think I am! And he said, for sure he would card me cause I look under 25, but figured at least 21 or 22. I was floored... Im in my mid-30's. I get it a lot that people guess me younger than I am...no one ever thinks Im over 30, mostly around mid 20's...but 21 or 22? And the other servers agreed they figured me as definitely under 25. It sucks extra hard because I realized something... Someone approaching me thinking Im that young and at that stage of my life, and then realizing not only am I not that young, but have a teenager too! That could really put a damper on my dating life eh? Anyone else go through that? I mean, yeah as a woman looking younger is always seen as a good thing, but not if its to the point of false advertising. that may explain why people in general always tell me how mature I am...not realizing I actually am mature (in the age sense at least lol) And its not like I do anything to look younger..we all wear uniforms, I wear minimal makeup, I do my hair up in a bun everyday...I dont exactly want to start looking older either, but I dont know...Im wierded out now, and really explains why guys way younger than me keep hitting on me, and guys my age or older just look and never talk to me... Sounds so stupid to say I guess but, doesnt seem fair!
Cee Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I've always looked young for my age and I haven't given it a second thought. It doesn't make that much of a difference in my dating life. Age isn't a big thing to me, except I'm unhappy at my greying hair and I have a wrinkle forming at my brow I don't like. Whatever confidence you put out there will be reflected back. I consider myself youthful (and always will, even when I'm 70). People respond to that energy. Also, keep in mind that most people are terrible at guessing ages. Once I met a guy who said he was excellent at guessing ages. He guessed my age on the nose, whereas most people think I'm 10 years younger than that. Also, people will guess a person is older if they have grey hair. Even if that somebody is 25 and has a baby face.
Author ReturnToSender Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 Yeah I feel you on the gray hair..its a never ending battle for me since it seems to be beyond resistant to hair dye! lol And youre right, Im not too worried about how Ill be when Im in my "golden years"...youthfulness will be a great thing then. Its funny though, how I really may just be psyching myself out about this guy. I went into work to have dinner tonight with my kid and he came to our table to say hi. The guy who was my server carded me (aye! lol) and he was going on about how surprised he is about my age when "my" guy walked back up and heard us talking. I was thinking the worst but he came back again and talked with me and kiddo for a bit and dropped in on us a couple times for small talk... After we left, she said I have to say something to this guy...how it was funny hed wander close around us and kept glancing towards me, and would do that a few times before actually coming to our table to talk again...She was laughing saying boys at school do that too and its "sooo obvious he likes you". Jeez! So...it would appear hes not scared of my age or that my kid is a teenager...thats a good thing
Art_Critic Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I think in general it is all in who you ask... If you ask a 15 year old their answer will be that you look old as hell.. If you ask a 50 year old they will think you own the fountain of youth.. If you ask some guy who wants in your pants then you damn well better believe he will tell you how young you look for your age If you ask someone your own age who looks in the mirror and sees the same aging lines then they know how old you are.. even if they say the nice thing and tell you how much younger you look... We all get old and wrinkly.. so just hang onto the fact you look good for your age..
Author ReturnToSender Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 Yeah but its pretty much across the board... Most people ask when they see me with my daughter when they realize Im her mom, or just assume she is my little sister. No wrinkles, no laugh lines...even my mom doesnt have any so Im pretty sure Im set for awhile *whew!* lol Well, the worst really was when I was in my 20's, guys would think I was jailbait or lying about my age...So yeah, at least this isnt nearly as bad as that cause my dating life *truly* sucked then. LoL It has made for some funny stories though...I was 28 and in Vegas with my bf, we went to have a drink and I forgot my ID in our hotel room so I ran back up to get it. When I came back, my bf looking totally amused said the ladies next to us loudly said thats what happens when you bring little girls to Vegas. He loudly replied, Im willing to bet she is older than both of you...and I was. I guess there are more important things to complain about...I was just so worried that it would put this guy off to think I was around 10 years younger...doesnt seem it has so, Im going to try and take a deep breath and get my courage back to talk to him.
Star Gazer Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 It really varies for me too, but typically I am told I do not look almost-33. Most estimates are around 27-28, which is fine by me. I also get carded at the bar when I'm skiing, bare faced/no makeup. But it bugs me when people think I'm really young. The first day at my new job (in a tailored suit), the receptionist (who was with another admin person) asked me if I was the new legal intern. The interns are all 22-25. I laughed and said no, that I was one of the new attorneys. She was shocked. Then the admin lady asked how long I'd been in practice. I said 7 years (at that point). She was even more shocked.
Author ReturnToSender Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 Hah..yeah it is a bit of an ego boost to see the look of shock on peoples faces... Women ask me my secret...depending on my mood and who Im talking to, Ill either say "the first step is...find parents with good genes and have them give birth to you" ...or tell them its a combination of alcohol, cigarettes and donuts. If anyone tells me thats horrible (they usually do) I let them know my dr says Im in perfect health and to keep doing whatever it is Im doing (he really said that) so Im going to trust my drs medical advice and remind them they asked me for mine lol *sigh*
threebyfate Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 36 years old here and still get carded regularly!! Enjoy it.
Cracker Jack Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I don't think it's a problem. Not gonna lie, I kinda had issues with it a few yrs ago, since it (looking like a kid) always seemed to put women off in my mind, but really, I've grown to have no problem with it. I doubt you're putting anyone off. Btw, there are still times where I find myself being stopped by cops because they believe I'm "cutting" school:laugh:
Cee Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I admit I hate getting carded because sometimes the bouncer will look shocked by my birthdate. I should be flattered, but I don't like the attention. I prefer not to call attention to my age because I'm dating a guy 15 years younger. I don't want to be called cougar or have people say "way to go." I want to be in a normal relationship with an equal. I know I don't look like I'm 25, but I'd like people to see us as an average couple. So I guess in that situation, I hope people think I am younger than my age. One time when we were out, he lied about his age to some people. It wasn't a big lie, but he said he was a year older than he was. I was surprised by that, but he commented that he didn't want to be thought of as the baby of the group. I thought that was interesting. I think a lot of people are age conscious.
Art_Critic Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 36 years old here and still get carded regularly!! Enjoy it. I'd card you too if I ran the cash register.. but only to find out your name
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I am 28, and many mistake me for being 16. So I know what it's like. It would be cool, except that I only get hit on by underage girls, and women my age all seem to think I'm trolling for cougars (when I'm their age!)
threebyfate Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I'd card you too if I ran the cash register.. but only to find out your name You're bad!
ascendotum Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 [Yeah but its pretty much across the board... Most people ask when they see me with my daughter when they realize Im her mom, or just assume she is my little sister. No wrinkles, no laugh lines..] There are millions of women around the globe who all up spend litterly billons each year to look younger, and would not feel the least bit sorry for you complaining how much of a negative it is to deal with with looking over a decade younger. When you were 20, I can understand it (and relate to it), but when you're a mother in your mid 30s, uh uh. Looking a lot younger than your age does, will hurt your opportunities when you are younger, though IMO I feel it would definitely be worse for a 24 yr guy to still look 17 then it would for a woman. As for looking a lot younger from your mid 30s on, its good for either sex. [i guess there are more important things to complain about[/i]] While I can understand its an aspect that makes for slightly different issues compared to the average woman, the short answer to this is...Yes, you bet there is, unless your figure still looks like you haven't finished with puberty.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I think it'd mostly genetics. My mum didn't have any wrinkles until she was 40. I am also always told I look younger by pretty much everyone. Even by my brother who is blunt and tells me I look fat all the time . People usually think that I am 26-27 and are surprised that I am over 30. I did start to see the beginning of a brow wrinkle a year ago and decided to get botox for it. So back to looking 26-27. My borther's gf is 24 and has more wrinkles than me. Some people have naturally thin almost like paper thin skin that wrinkles easily.
jennifer4 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Be happy! It's the same way for me. I'm 38 and just found out by my bf that everyone he's talked to at work thinks I'm 24-28. I'm flattered and hope I continue to look younger than my age. Working out is probably my main reason for not looking 38(whatever that looks like).
Author ReturnToSender Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 [Yeah but its pretty much across the board... Most people ask when they see me with my daughter when they realize Im her mom, or just assume she is my little sister. No wrinkles, no laugh lines..] There are millions of women around the globe who all up spend litterly billons each year to look younger, and would not feel the least bit sorry for you complaining how much of a negative it is to deal with with looking over a decade younger. When you were 20, I can understand it (and relate to it), but when you're a mother in your mid 30s, uh uh. Looking a lot younger than your age does, will hurt your opportunities when you are younger, though IMO I feel it would definitely be worse for a 24 yr guy to still look 17 then it would for a woman. As for looking a lot younger from your mid 30s on, its good for either sex. [i guess there are more important things to complain about[/i]] While I can understand its an aspect that makes for slightly different issues compared to the average woman, the short answer to this is...Yes, you bet there is, unless your figure still looks like you haven't finished with puberty. Hah...yeah youre right on both counts. Really, like I said I think Im just psyching myself out cause of this guy Im interested in who is younger than me and more likely than not thought I was much younger....and having a teenage kid on top of that can be a shocker... I have *never* been this interested in a guy younger than me, so this sort of dynamic is completely unfamiliar to me. I mean, heck even guys my own age and older freak out about it that I have a kid that old, check out any single mother thread and youll see, just having a kid in and of itself makes guys think the worst. OMG shes closer to his age that I am!!!! So its not an unwarrented worry that he would freak out and run. But...instead of freaking out and avoiding me, he kept coming up to me to talk and made small talk with kiddo too... He didnt seem at all wierded out which either means he's not even thinking of me in a romantic way, or...hes interested enough that he doesnt care. Im hoping for the latter
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