BobbyD Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I just about a year ago reconnected with a old girl friend from my past(18years ago). She is great but has been known in the past to lie and cheat. She is a full time postal employee and told me another male employee was texting her "gross" messages as she put it. She forwarded them to me: One read: "I have to go to the bathroom come hold it for me then shake it" I asked her how in the world that guy felt comfortable enough to send that to you? That he knew thats sexual harassment and that could get him fired instantly. her answer: he is always keeping something going on with us at work. ( I thought that was wierd as no female would listen to much of that at all.) I just came out and asked if there was anything I needed to know about with that employee. She constantly changes the subject, avoids even talking about it now. I am unsure why she even told me about what was going on (maybe to make me jealous? IDK) But once I starting asking questions about how you and this guys friendship got to the point he felt comfortable texting you stuff about holding his penis and other sexual stuff, well thats a little much. My gut feeling is either there having sex or have had sex!!! (That gut feeling is usually right) I just wanted to get some second thoughts on it from everyone. Thanks
Bryanp Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Unfortunately your gut feeling is most probably correct. There is no way he would have sent something like that knowing he would have been immediately fired if it had not happened before. She probably has been engaging in sexual activity with this guy in exactly this manner. She has probably already put your health at risk for STD's. She sounds like really bad news.
Author BobbyD Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 Exactly what i was thinking, life is to short I got to move on.
Scorpio90 Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I am a woman who deals with women. When a woman talks about a subject such as that & then becomes uncomfortable with the topic after a certain point, ur on to something. She's avoiding ur question because shes trying to hide what shes done and/ or she cant come up with a good enough answer to ur question. I used to date someone who was known for jumping in & out of relationships. I had this gut feeling that she was still stuck on her ex lover. But there were no obvious signs that would support my suspicion. Long story short, my gut was right. After we broke up, she revealed that she had not gotten over her ex & that she still longed for her ex. I thought i was thinking crazy the whole time when i should have just trusted my intuiton. I wasted 6 months behind but i learned that tuition is usually a good source to go by .
Author BobbyD Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 I appreciate the non biased views on it. Its still puzzling why she would even bring this up to me? Much less Fwd them to me!! Then again she may have been looking for something that would trigger me to end things, and keep the monkey off her back. Who knows??
PegNosePete Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I am unsure why she even told me about what was going on (maybe to make me jealous? IDK) It's a sh#t test. She wants to see your reaction. She wants to know if you are a MAN or a doormat. She wants to know exactly how much she can get away with, and how much she has to hide from you. End it with this game-playing immature girl.
purplepanda Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Definately something has happened there before, and she brought it up to make you jealous/see your reaction. She's bad news.
Chi townD Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Yeah, this one is a tough one....If she did something in the past BEFORE you came along. Then, why wouldn't she just tell you. Yet, she felt comfortable enough to show you the text....yet, she won't tell you if a relationship happened with this guy... very confusing. You need to sit her down and tell her to lay all her cards out on the table or you're walking from this game.
Author BobbyD Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 So i confronted her again about the above incident. Her responses basically became anger. Stating she has given everything up for me and put her life on hold. She stated she has never slept with him, went to lunch or anything with him. To ask whoever I wanted. I asked if he was married, she said yes, that they were both trashy people??? (so why are you getting text like this from him) Her reason for him having the number was, he is the union rep and he has everyones number. So she basically flip the cards on me and told me, that obviously what we had wasnt special and we probably should just cut ties.
Sazerac Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 So she basically flip the cards on me and told me, that obviously what we had wasnt special and we probably should just cut ties. I hope you told her that was an excellent idea.
Chi townD Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Then flip the cards on her. Ask her if the roles were reversed and you were receiving flirty e-mails from a co-worker, would she be expected to laugh them off? I think she would go high and to the right. I think you have a right to know what's going on in your relationship and if this is the first incident of jealousy in your relationship and she's ready to cut and run. That may mean that she has something to hide and she'd rather run than face the truth. If she wants to run then let her run.
Scorpio90 Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 Yes, please let her....she'z obviously playing games. Women can be very simple & clear when they want. There is something that she doesnt wanna tell u & her suggesting a breakup is a huge sign...leave her alone, seriously. U'd be better off without someone like that...unless u like dealing with shady women.
jnj express Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 Hey Chitown---those wern't flirty E-mails---they were PURE FILTH Any woman who recieves that kind of trash from a male---isn't much of a woman---she herself is more like, shall we say a slut, or maybe a whore I think if you asked any number of women what they would do if they got that kind of crap from a male---most would tell him off, or turn him in for SH This woman you are with---she ain't worth the crap you will go thru if you stay with her----she has allowed herself the title of slut---is that what you wanna spend your life with
Author BobbyD Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 You know this was my first love, and its not easy letting go. But I absolutely have ended this relationship. I was not going to worry about the texting, phone calls, facebook friends, or who ever else she wanted to talk to. I think the last thing any of us need is more drama in our lives!! So now she can sext away with whoever! Thanks everyone!!!
nezbo Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Yuck, drop her immediately. Shes playing headgames, will leave you confused about women, love and relationships The fact that she was your first love means shes probably the least likely person you will be able go the distance with - remember you ended up with her at the time when you were more ignorant and uneducated about love & women than you are now. First love is a practice run.
dreamingoftigers Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 You know this was my first love, and its not easy letting go. But I absolutely have ended this relationship. I was not going to worry about the texting, phone calls, facebook friends, or who ever else she wanted to talk to. I think the last thing any of us need is more drama in our lives!! So now she can sext away with whoever! Thanks everyone!!! Good for you, she must have been at least talking dirty with him and liked the attention OR she won't turn him in which is ridiculous and permissive. Either way, poor boundaries. Good luck in your next R.
seibert253 Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 You know this was my first love, and its not easy letting go. But I absolutely have ended this relationship. I was not going to worry about the texting, phone calls, facebook friends, or who ever else she wanted to talk to. I think the last thing any of us need is more drama in our lives!! So now she can sext away with whoever! Thanks everyone!!! Bravo Bobby. Great Job.
Lucky_One Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 You very well could be right about your suspicions. But then again..I have worked with guys who are just plain nasty. And I liked my job, I liked my benefits, I liked my co-workers, I liked the hours, I liked the reputation I had there. And I have had a guy there who legally was crossing the lines of sexual harassment. So...what was I supposed to do? File SH charges against him? No; I didn't want to, I didn't want the hassle, I didn't want the overall feeling at work to change, I didn't want to catch possible crap from other co-workers, I didn't want to be known as a snitch. So I just ignored him and the messages. I went about my business at work, hung out with my co-worker friends, collected my paycheck, and enjoyed my work for the most part. If I had shown my SO the texts and if his immediate reaction had been that I must be sleeping with that sleezeball, it would have made me angry and hurt my feelings and made me feel that my SO must not like me or trust me very much if he thought I was sleeping with someone with no more evidence than some text messages that I had shown him. And if I had shown my SO the texts and if he had expected me to turn this guy in and do some sort of formal complaint, then I probably would have just downplayed any future texts and tried to change the subject. Just another viewpoint.
Scorpio90 Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 You know this was my first love, and its not easy letting go. But I absolutely have ended this relationship. I was not going to worry about the texting, phone calls, facebook friends, or who ever else she wanted to talk to. I think the last thing any of us need is more drama in our lives!! So now she can sext away with whoever! Thanks everyone!!! If it makes u feel any better, my 1st love was the worst relationship i ever had...seriously. N WE r not the only 1s who've experienced a terrible relationship with the 1st ppl we ever fell in love with.
Sebstian Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) Think you made the right decision mate! Go out there fearless, there are plenty of good ones thank god! Good luck! Edited March 31, 2011 by Sebstian
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