jessiemac Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 met him 4 years ago, we clicked straight away. He was 4 yrs younger than me and at first we were just friends. i never thought about him in that way but everyone else kept saying how perfect we were for each other. B has issues and i really tried to help him. His dad is gay and dresses up as a woman and this really affects him but he could talk about it with me (to a point, he pushes anything bad to the back of his mind as if it never happened). At one point he even thought he could be gay and was too scared to tell anyone but he told me and i tried to support him all i could. That all passed and then one night out of the blue he told me he liked me and had always done since we first met but didn't want to ruin what we had. I was shocked but decided that we should try because we got on so well. It was strange for about a week but then it felt completely natural. We got on so well and had a really good relationship. After a while when i thought i could be pregnant he was really good about it and we got a test and he just hugged me all night. He made it perfectly clear he didn't want this baby because he was too young (21) and still had to go back to university for another year. He said maybe in a year or two this could be a good thing. I wasn't sure what i wanted to do but in the end we made a decision (after him telling me it would be unfair if i brought a child into the world that he didn't want and who would want me if i had a child). We went to the clinic and it was strange because we were so in love. I had to wait for the proceedure because i had a holiday booked to thailand with my friends for 2weeks. whilst i was away i noticed the change in him(he had never wanted me to go on the holiday without him). He got arrested and lost his driving lisence (drink driving), lost his job and became distant. when i got back he broke up with me the night before the abortion saying that he needed to be on his own for a while, he stayed the night and we slept together. He said he wanted to stay friends because he wanted me in his life, i said i didn't know if that was possible because we had crossed the friend barrier. He came to the clinic the next day and was holding my hand and putting his arm around me. he was meant to stay with me for 24hrs to make sure i was ok but when i got home he said he couldn't stay it was too difficult. I told him he could go because i didn't want to force him to stay. I got really sick that night and felt completely alone, i texted him and asked him to help, called him, emailed him - no reply. He called 2 days later (after my friend called him and told him she was worried about me) and i asked him to come over because i wasn't coping he told me to stop wallowing and start moving on. This wasn't the person i knew. I told him i needed him to be there and he refused saying that what was he supposed to do put his life on hold for me! I felt so let down. I did send him some messages asking how he thought it was ok to treat me like this, He then told me to leave him alone because he had started to move on. I found out that he had been cheating on me and is now with this person. I was in hospital with an infection (seriously ill) and he didn't even ask if i was ok. I just feel completely used - he knew how hard this was for me to do and i'm the one suffering whilst he gets away without feeling anything. I lost someone i was in love with, a best friend and a baby all in 24hrs. He has been so mean to me saying that he doesn't owe me anything. All i needed was an apology for not being there. I am not coping with this at all and can't stop crying, i just feel like i don't want to be here anymore.
Mcnulty Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Really feel for you and am sorry you're going through so many different emotions. This guy is scum, he's proved that by his selfish deeds, attitude and cheating on you. he is not worth being in your life, tell yourself that...it's the truth. From now on, you need to focus on you and getting over your losses. it will be a slow journey, but use friends, family and the good folks on this site to talk and vent. You may have regrets about the abortion, that's understandable, but that is in the past and think to yourself, would you have wanted to be a single mum, with this scumbag's offspring? I know it's a double edged sword, but don't beat yourself up too much about this part, what's meant to be is meant to be. Strength and luck is sent to you...take care.
Thatguyintx Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 This guy is scum, he's proved that by his selfish deeds, attitude and cheating on you. he is not worth being in your life, tell yourself that...it's the truth. Truer words have not been spoken. I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel. Don't allow your feelings to be defined by him. Easier said than done. Over time it will happen. I second McNulty's wish to send you strength!
Author jessiemac Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 thank you for taking the time to read my story. i never thought i would be in this position. i know i don't deserve the way he has treated me but in the back of my head all i keep thinking is this isn't the person i know. none of my friends or even some of our mutual friends can believe his behaviour. apparently they all thought he was besotted with me and that i would be the one doing the breaking up. i guess at the minute i have all these what if's and why's going through my head that will never be answered. i just wish i could know how he thinks it's ok to be like this.
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