LD1981 Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Hey all.. I'm newly signed up but i have read right the way through these forums over the last week... NC... Gators guide is awesome... but ... I'm stuck... my wife of almost 9 years..(wedding anniversary in 2 weeks:( ) have broken up, She says she is unhappy being with me and that she loves me with all her heartt and hates herself for not being happy with me and wishes she was, then in the same breath says she really wants to be friends and all that yadda yadda, cutting a long story short, I dont wanna be apart from her, its her choice and as it stands i would like to win her back and I know that will take time via NC and such methods (not that im using it as a game, I may well find out that im happier this way in the end... right now i dont wanna be happy that way though lol) Right... situation i need help with, I have to live in the same house as my ex and my kids until i can get a place of my own, i'm out of work (just recently) so my income is pathetic, which doesnt help with deposits fir rent etc, so i could be here a while!! We have been broken up a week today and I cant exactly initiate NC whilst killing myself seeing her face many hours of the day! (i'm sleeping on the couch btw, so its not like i have a room i can be a hermit in). You could cut the tension with a knife here, shes hurting as much as i am it seems too, spending most nights crying etc but still determined its over but i have LITERALLY no where to go.. we barely say a word to each other and i mean BARELY! probably amounts to about 10 words a day and most of them are.. "im going to the shop" etc What the hell do I do in this situation, I mean apart from living in a homeless shelter, I cannot think of anything! It's tearing me up to the point of extreme depression! Any input would be good input
depplover_1980 Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Do you not have friends and family you can spread visits out in between? If you've never been into running, or cycling then it is time to take it up now and sweat out some tension aswell as taking up some more time!! I will await your reply then comment further.
Author LD1981 Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 ok.. my closest family or friend is 2 hours away, most of them are 5-8 hours away. Very difficult to see the kids at that distance and Im having money issues atm I play football(soccer) 3 times a week which gets me out of the house for 2-4 hours each time, I go for 2 hour walks daily, but with having no money I cant get very far in terms of meeting friends even halfway for the day. Hopefully the 5 million(exaggeration ) jobs i keep applying for will produce goods sooner rather than later I know I'm gonna have to stay here for a while, I just need to work out how to actually do it.. Its extremely painful being with her everyday when I know I cant be WITH her and theres no 2 ways about it, atm I really want to be back with her, but the situation really doesn't work in my favour there, all i feel like I'm doing is pushing her further away.
Country_Girl Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Do a google search on "180 plan, divorce busters". It will give you a plan on self improvement, deals with having to live with a separated spouse, and could help repair your relationship.
Author LD1981 Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 thanks country girl, just been through many pages and couldn't find much more help than searching through these forums for anyone thats been in a similar situation.
Author LD1981 Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 Don't suppose anyone has any advice for me on this? I'm going mad trying to work out what to do here.
VJohnson32 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Well, first of all why is she unhappy with you? Is it something you can work on and improve?
Author LD1981 Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 I wish i knew! I asked her a couple of times why is she unhappy and the response i get is "i just am" and "what does it matter now" I know she has been under a lot of stress lately and our money issues certainly dont help matters. Thats all i can really put it down too. Well there is the mother in law haha she doesnt like me at all because my dad and her dad usedto get drunk a lot together causing havoc, but im noyhing like him, i barely drink! Shes always told the ex im no good for her when ive never done anything to deserve it and shes very close to her mum Getting her to talk is near impossible too, so ive given up, atm im trying to smile and be happy(even though im actually the exqct opposite) to show she aint getting too me, try and make out im moving on witu my life so to speak!
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