Yeahsussu Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I´ve been posting a few times here before whining about my ex BF and his behaviour Well we broke up 2 months ago (mutual, but mostly his desicion) cause we were in a LDR. We still have this weird relationship going on, we text cute stuff to each other but we´re not really together. Hard to explain. Anyway it confuses me. He was the love of my life but after our breakup i found out that he had been seeing someone else before I came to his country to live with him for a year. I´ve written some posts about that and how angry I was and how I felt so used. I finally got my sh*t together and today we were chatting on facebook and I was telling him about a party I was planning on going to. He told me to watch out for the boys, like he was a bit jealous. Then, kinda out of nowhere, I asked him if he was seeing someone before I came over to live with him. He said no. WTF. I then asked him about this girl (i know her name) and what the story was with her. And what happened? He went offline! I don´t know if it was such a smart idea to bring this up, considering it happened over a year ago, but I just couldn´t let it go. I don´t wanna be played around with. Both of us want to be together, but we can´t because of the distance. So, did I just blow my chances here? I don´t like confrontation or arguing, so this was a huge thing for me. Was it wrong of me to bring this up? According to my "source" who told me about his relationship with this girl said it wasn´t anything too serious between them, but they were dating. But i rekon I deserve to know what he´s been up to. But I can´t believe he just went offline just like that? And havent heard anything from him since.. Why is he acting like this? I hope someone can help me out here on what to do next?
Thatguyintx Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I think you did the right thing by asking. Why beat around the bush? If it was no big deal, he could explain the situation to you. I would guess that by going offline he is showing you that he has no explanation or cannot talk about it. Wouldn't you need him to explain this situation to you if you ever did get back together? I know I would. I think you just patiently wait for him to initiate contact with you. And he will, I am very sure.
Author Yeahsussu Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 (edited) Thanks for taking the time to reply. I think you´re totally right, but why wouldn´t he be able to talk about it? He got himself into this mess and I really need to hear his side of the story about this cause it´s been taking over mind ever since I found out about it. I don´t like when he is so secret about it, it tells me something is really wrong. I just felt it was a bit rude to go offline like that, without saying anything. At the same time I feel a bit bad for bringing this up when it happend over a year ago. But I can´t move forward if I don´t know the whole story. Edited March 20, 2011 by Yeahsussu
Author Yeahsussu Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 And what do I do if he pretends like nothing´s happened if he contacts me? Wouldn´t surprise me if he would do that..
Thatguyintx Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 And what do I do if he pretends like nothing´s happened if he contacts me? Wouldn´t surprise me if he would do that.. I know what I would do. If I really needed an explanation (and I would!), I would make him explain. I would not let that go with a free pass. Burying the past does not make it go away. That's just me though. I am an analyzer and need understanding of behaviors. Without it, I cannot offer trust.
Author Yeahsussu Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 He got back to me this morning with a text... just saying it doesnt´matter and he always love me. I wrote back to him that I need to know what´s going on and no reply... I knew he would be like this. Just avoiding my questions.
Author Yeahsussu Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 (edited) Well we talked about it now! He said he never intended to hurt me and he was never serious with this other girl, he always wanted me. I told him how I felt, that I felt used when i found out about this, and that i don´t wanna get stringed along if he sees other girls. I don´t wanna be a backup plan. I also told him it´s hard to trust him when he keeps things from me. I think that might have hurt him quite a bit, and I feel a bit bad about it. From what I´ve heard men really need to feel trusted if they wanna be motivated in a relationship. Him and I are in a bit of a strange relationship at the moment and we live in different countries so we can´t see each other or be together. But we have strong feelings for each other. It feels a bit weird. As I wrote earlier I´m really not comfortable with putting people on the spot or confronting them about something. I went pretty hard on him and he probably thinks I´m a weirdo who´s overreacting to this. But I´m willing to forgive and forget if we can move forward from here. But he´s being very distant now, so I guess I should just lay low? Edited March 21, 2011 by Yeahsussu
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