Disillusioned Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I recently resolved a disagreement with my best friend. I won't say it was an argument, because he was more or less pointing out something I did which he didn't agree with. I told him that I'm going solo for the rest of my life, after those 3 bad dates I had last year. He told me "no, you're not finished, you're dating." Then he tries to guilt me on being a shut-in, etc etc. Well, what the heck, he's divorced and I've never been married, so I agreed to a compromise with him. He wants me to follow through on losing weight, getting my property cleaned up, getting my paperwork organized, and selling my books and my woodwork for extra income, THEN start dating again. I grudgingly agreed to take his little dare. I mean, what the heck... my problem has been laziness. I can lose over 100 lbs, get the place cleaned up, and make $$ just selling my work online... but then I had an idea. I'm going to use myself as a guinea pig to test the "180 effect"; when a man suddenly gets a substantial increase in income, women do a 180 and chase him instead of being chased by him. I've heard 3 different guys describe this behavior pattern, but I want to find out for myself. Forewarned is forearmed... if women are going to start taking an interest in the slimmer, richer me when I'm out and about, I'm going to whip out a pen and a notepad and coldly cross-examine them instead of getting all drooly and stoopid like men are supposed to. A notepad?!?! I think the blunted look on these women's faces will be priceless when I don't operate the way they expect me to operate when they try to push my buttons. If this isn't going to be a good filter for keeping out the bad apples, I don't know what will be.
Macaw Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Seems to me like you're fixing a lot more than your income. You can't just go from overweight, poor and awkward to rich, handsome and confident and expect that it was the money alone that did the trick. Losing weight works wonders though. That much I can speak from personal experience.
fishtaco Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Yup, agree with Macaw. If you improve on multiple fronts, then you are testing everything together, it's not isolated to income only. But yeah, do it. Sounds like a pretty good life direction.
threebyfate Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Prior to losing weight, why not just test the money aspect?
fishtaco Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Prior to losing weight, why not just test the money aspect? Actually, even though money is the great equalizer, you need to have a lot of it by itself to take effect. I don't think selling wood work is going to do that. Having extra cash around will make his life smoother, and make his "changes" easier to accomplish, which is positive. But unless he's selling them for $50,000 a piece, and he's got a bunch of them, it's not going to have much direct impact. Unless you have a car that's over $100,000, you're not going to raise any eyebrows, if he's expecting his money to do the work for him. And that's just the car.
threebyfate Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Actually, even though money is the great equalizer, you need to have a lot of it by itself to take effect. I don't think selling wood work is going to do that. Having extra cash around will make his life smoother, and make his "changes" easier to accomplish, which is positive. But unless he's selling them for $50,000 a piece, and he's got a bunch of them, it's not going to have much direct impact. Unless you have a car that's over $100,000, you're not going to raise any eyebrows, if he's expecting his money to do the work for him. And that's just the car.Perhaps it will help him and others dispel the myth that women are after the small amounts that they appear to believe. I must admit that it makes me laugh to think that any woman would be after what the average guy makes or has so they'd best run out and get a prenuptial over a home with a large mortgage or rental apartment and salaries in the mid to high five figures!
brainygirl Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Two thoughts. One, would you really want the kind of woman who is interested as a result of your money? Two, maybe its not your weight or money or messy house, but the kind of woman you pursue or the way in which you pursue them? (of course, I happen to be of the if its not jumping up to bite me it doesn't need cleaned school of house keeping)
fishtaco Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Perhaps it will help him and others dispel the myth that women are after the small amounts that they appear to believe. I must admit that it makes me laugh to think that any woman would be after what the average guy makes or has so they'd best run out and get a prenuptial over a home with a large mortgage or rental apartment and salaries in the mid to high five figures! Yeah, exactly. Having an average guy's finances, as long as it's sound, just shows women that the guy has his act together. Which is definitely a positive thing. But that's ALL it will do. For the money to "speak out" to the women, you better have to have A LOT of it. Or at least appear to have a lot of it.
threebyfate Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Yeah, exactly. Having an average guy's finances, as long as it's sound, just shows women that the guy has his act together. Which is definitely a positive thing. But that's ALL it will do. For the money to "speak out" to the women, you better have to have A LOT of it. Or at least appear to have a lot of it.Basically. As far as money speaking out, it will speak out to some and not to all. Same as if you're a woman who has a substantial amount, to be very,very careful who you get involved with. Gold diggers come in either gender.
fishtaco Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Gold diggers come in either gender. Yeah, gender equality is pretty awesome.
threebyfate Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Yeah, gender equality is pretty awesome.*slaps fishtaco around* Yeah, gender equality is pretty awesome!
Author Disillusioned Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 Yes, but what about cross-examination with the pen and the notepad? That's my own dark sense of humor at work. Not everyone gets it or appreciates it. But to me it's an example of taking something intended to be humorous and using it for something serious when all the other serious moves won't do. The players would be turned off immediately, but the keepers would tell me to stop the f'ing around and start planning more time together.
MarlyStar Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Forewarned is forearmed... if women are going to start taking an interest in the slimmer, richer me when I'm out and about, I'm going to whip out a pen and a notepad and coldly cross-examine them instead of getting all drooly and stoopid like men are supposed to. A notepad?!?! I think the blunted look on these women's faces will be priceless when I don't operate the way they expect me to operate when they try to push my buttons. If this isn't going to be a good filter for keeping out the bad apples, I don't know what will be. You are more likely to filter out the good apples. Bad apples who just want your money and 'fame' will put up with a lot (i.e., Charlie Sheen's goddesses--who in their right mind would 'date' him?). Good apples will say you and your negative, hostile attitude aren't worth it. Exactly what kind of 'cold' cross examination questions are you fantasizing you are going to shock these women with? You seem to think you are going to whip out your notebook and put them in their place. It's not going to work out like that. You will drive off the good ones and be left with the messed up, exploitive, or desperate ones. Lucky you. Along with the weight loss, income gain and tidying up of your personal space and paperwork, why not try some therapy to get at the root of your hostility, suspicion and fear of women? Also, women are not interested in drooling, stoopid men. Where did you get that idea? Or are all out looking to 'push your buttons'. You have some misconceptions about women that are going to trip you up no matter how slender and rich and organized you become.
MarlyStar Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Yes, but what about cross-examination with the pen and the notepad? That's my own dark sense of humor at work. Not everyone gets it or appreciates it. But to me it's an example of taking something intended to be humorous and using it for something serious when all the other serious moves won't do. The players would be turned off immediately, but the keepers would tell me to stop the f'ing around and start planning more time together. You got it backwards; the quality women will be turned off and think you are a piece of work, and the players will attempt to use your game to their advantage. And I fail to see what 'dark humor' there is in this, except if you believe all women are exploitive and you are going to humiliate them and put them in their places and show them up for the shallow btches they are. Maybe that's funny to someone who thinks women are the enemy. But you seem to acknowledge there are some worthwhile women out there, they aren't all the enemy, and those women will not be interested in proving to you that they are worthy of a guy who's so suspicious and frightened and hostile. How old are you?
fishtaco Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 *slaps fishtaco around* Yeah, gender equality is pretty awesome! *cheat on TBF, divorce, take half of her money, make her pay for my penis enlargement treatment, and collect palimony every month* Actually, it is.
Author Disillusioned Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 Ok then, I'll have my cake and eat every last bit of it. Fair, shmair.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 You better have few millions to make it worth my while. Or a 10" penis.
Author Disillusioned Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 You better have few millions to make it worth my while. Or a 10" penis. You ain't gettin' any. NEXT...
january2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 What do you hope to gain? The chance to have an "a ha/told you so" moment with your friend? Fun and hi-jinks by getting these women to fall for you and then taking your 'revenge' by toying with them? In my opinion, if you want to remain single for the rest of your life, just do it. Seems a waste of energy to conduct elaborate social experiments to prove your point, if you're already sure of your point.
ivalm Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Logistically, loosing 100lb and changing one's life around is very difficult. Seriously, it will take perhaps several years to loose 100 lb, unless you are doing lipo. Even then, building up muscle mass is hard. Also, one is "rich" only if you have more than mid 6 figure salary, or better yet 7 figure, which means you have to be quite a craftsman (and if you are, then your artistic abilities alone should be enough to attract women, seriously, many want to be married to the next Picasso)!
Girlygirl1977 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Since you live in Los Angeles or its environs, my guess is you would need to be more in the millionaire category for money to be a prominent way to get chicks. My guess - selling some things won't quite get you there? I also believe if you lost 100 lbs alone, this would change your dating outlook and options. This would significantly change things on its own. Ivalm also pointed out the time frame for this to happen - which is a bit more realistic. I want to be kind but I dont know how to soften this too much - but if you have a 100 lbs to lose, this may be the main reason dating has been hard. I think many people unless they are similar, tend not to date people who might be that much overweight. A winning personality is great, but that only goes so far. Appearance and one's body will factor in at least when it is to an extreme (i.e. overweight, underweight). But really important and something you need to think about is personality and outlook. Positivity attracts more than negativity. As the saying goes, you catch more bees with honey than with vinegar.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 You ain't gettin' any. NEXT... I am about to cry myself to sleep now
Author Disillusioned Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 I am about to cry myself to sleep now I'll send you a sympathy card.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 I'll send you a sympathy card. Make sure you enclose some $$$$$
Kamille Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 (edited) Have you guys ever seen the show Millionaire Matchmaker? The host is the owner of a dating agency who helps millionaires who struggle to find a mate on the dating market. From the very basic premise of the show, we can deduct that being a millionaire does not garantee luck in dating. And in fact, watching the show is very informative... She'll often coach men on how to tweak small aspects of their personalities so that they do better on the dating market. One of the most common theme is jaded men who want to put their dates "to the test". You wouldn't believe how many men have "tests" they put in place, based on various stereotypes of women (mostly that women are princesses). The host always recommends not using a date to push your own personal agenda on your date, but using the date to get to know the person as an individual (who may or may not be a princess). Many men ignore her, end up really liking their date (because the date passed their silly test), only to find out their date doesn't want to seem them again. Moral of the story: if you plan to pull out a notepad and pencil to "test women", then you really shouldn't be dating. Edited March 21, 2011 by Kamille
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