Woggle Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 It is clear that today gender relations are not good. The divorce rate is skyrocketing and the majority of people in marriages and relationships are miserable. Romance is pretty much dead in our society and men and women become more bitter towards each other everyday. Men blame women for the current state of affairs and women blame men and neither side seems willing to budge. Men call women all types of names and women let us know everyday how unneeded and obsolete we are. I just got done reading the comments on an article and I think it is pretty much hopeless. Are things really as bad as they seem and if so what if anything can be done to heal this rift?
Ricl Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Just because divorce rates are higher doesn't mean happiness is lower. There's just a different mentality. People used to stay together while miserable more quickly than they do so now.
quietGuy13 Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Women seem to enjoy women more these days, whether great friendship or being BI/LES. NOthing we can do about it, it's just the way things work these day in age.
brainygirl Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I think there are a few things going on. One is that its so easy to get a divorce and there's very little stigma attached to it any more, so I think some cases of divorce wouldn't have happened a few decades ago. We are a "grass is greener" society, and people jump to the next great thing when their current situation gets tough. (I'm not saying this is true of all divorces or anything, just some). second is yes, times are different now than in my grandparents time. Woman now do not NEED a male to defend them or provide for them. Women can and do hold any job you can think of (except maybe submarine crew). Of course, women are no longer treated as the property of their father and then their husband. Women can open checking accounts on their own, without the permission of their husbands. I could go on. I DO think that there are some very vocal people out there of both genders who tend to be hateful towards the other gender. I don't hate all men. I hate attitudes I've seen expressed by some men. I hate the way some of those attitudes make me feel worthless and like I will never be loved completely.
USCGAviator Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I think people are getting married too early, too young, and for the wrong reasons.
Knittress Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I think you see what you look for. Rather than an attitude of hostility - this time of year I see a lot of springtime flowers and couples holding hands. Where's the bitterness? I don't see it.
Macaw Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I blame our schools. They spend so many months teaching us how our sex organs work and not even a minute teaching the really important difference: How the masculine and feminine brains work. Men grow up thinking women want the same things out of a relationship as them and vice-versa. When they collide with the harsh and cold reality, they just assume the worst of the opposite gender.
Author Woggle Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 I think you see what you look for. Rather than an attitude of hostility - this time of year I see a lot of springtime flowers and couples holding hands. Where's the bitterness? I don't see it. I don't see any couples holding hands. I just read an article today about a book called Manning Up and the comments show how much bitterness there is.
OliveOyl Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 It is clear that today gender relations are not good. The divorce rate is skyrocketing and the majority of people in marriages and relationships are miserable. Romance is pretty much dead in our society and men and women become more bitter towards each other everyday. Men blame women for the current state of affairs and women blame men and neither side seems willing to budge. Men call women all types of names and women let us know everyday how unneeded and obsolete we are. I just got done reading the comments on an article and I think it is pretty much hopeless. Are things really as bad as they seem and if so what if anything can be done to heal this rift? Despite having a marriage end myself, I don't agree with any of this. People used to stay in bad marriages because of society. Now they're more willing to look for a partnership that truly nourishes them. If anything, people are MORE romantic than they used to be.
depplover_1980 Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 An angle to consider is men and women are better friends, mixing together in social circles more now than ever. The lines of friendship within my circle are solid, I have some very good male friends and see others around me with similars friendships. Interests are more cross genred now with women having interest in sport and some guys loving shopping and baking!! Romance is not the only kind of relationships to consider when making such generalised statements about the sexes.
Knittress Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I don't see any couples holding hands. I just read an article today about a book called Manning Up and the comments show how much bitterness there is. Yes well - why don't you take your lovely wife to the park and grab her hand? You'll see what I mean. There's where all the well-adjusted folks are - yanno... the ones NOT represented by trollish commentary on second-run newsites.
The dot Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 It is clear that today gender relations are not good. The divorce rate is skyrocketing and the majority of people in marriages and relationships are miserable. Romance is pretty much dead in our society and men and women become more bitter towards each other everyday. Men blame women for the current state of affairs and women blame men and neither side seems willing to budge. Men call women all types of names and women let us know everyday how unneeded and obsolete we are. I just got done reading the comments on an article and I think it is pretty much hopeless. Are things really as bad as they seem and if so what if anything can be done to heal this rift? I think relationships have pretty much always been the same. When you think about it, the only real difference between 2011 and 1951 is that 60 years ago, there were no domestic violence laws and there was such a stigma attached to divorce that most people just put up with bad (read: abusive, unfaithful etc) partners just to stay married. Today there's more freedom, both in getting out of bad relationships and avoiding them outright. People are now more willing to embrace other things like 'friends with benefits' or casual dating or whatever, and I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. Let's face it, most relationships are great for the first six months or so, and then go into a slow decline as both partners stop putting their best foot forward and start getting tired of things about the other person that might have been "cute" or novel at first. I don't see what's wrong with embracing that reality.
Disillusioned Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Maybe it's God's way of telling us to stop making so many babies? I mean, that's MY take on why there are so many horny men boo-hooing about how they can't get laid, while most of the women are all sour that there aren't any more rich single guys in this lousy economy to buy them stuff. God is hijacking our brains and making us behave unnaturally. If you have a problem, take it up with him.
brainygirl Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Maybe it's God's way of telling us to stop making so many babies? I mean, that's MY take on why there are so many horny men boo-hooing about how they can't get laid, while most of the women are all sour that there aren't any more rich single guys in this lousy economy to buy them stuff. God is hijacking our brains and making us behave unnaturally. If you have a problem, take it up with him. This is the problem. there's more to men than horniness and more to women than the desire for money.
The dot Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Maybe it's God's way of telling us to stop making so many babies? I mean, that's MY take on why there are so many horny men boo-hooing about how they can't get laid, while most of the women are all sour that there aren't any more rich single guys in this lousy economy to buy them stuff. God is hijacking our brains and making us behave unnaturally. If you have a problem, take it up with him. Well, this is the point, I don't think it's unnatural at all. In fact, I think the situation in 2011 is more natural than it was 50 or 60 years ago. I mean, really, what is marriage anyway? It's a legally binding contract that two people enter into with the state to do certain things and divide their joint assets a certain way if it doesn't work out. If that way of living is "natural", why do we need to sign a contract? "God" hasn't changed anything. The reason we have so many sex-crazed men and materialistic women complaining about not being able to find what they want is that they have simply been manipulated by the media. Turn off the TV and stop reading the newspapers (and disconnect from the Internet maybe) and you'll probably find your desire for sex and material things starts to diminish.
threebyfate Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Woggle, was it the article, your mother or something someone else said? Don't pick up the crack pipe again. As far as men and women not liking each other, there are men I can't stand and others I adore, where most fall in between. LS is not the place to find reality or happiness. It's a place to find pain and misery.
fishtaco Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I think relationships have pretty much always been the same. When you think about it, the only real difference between 2011 and 1951 is that 60 years ago, there were no domestic violence laws and there was such a stigma attached to divorce that most people just put up with bad (read: abusive, unfaithful etc) partners just to stay married. Today there's more freedom, both in getting out of bad relationships and avoiding them outright. I agree with this. Before, people had more reasons (not love or romance related) to stay together. Now, due to the cultural shift and everything, love and romance is taking on bigger and bigger chunks of what determines if a couple decides to stay together or not. Personally I think that's a good thing. I feel it's sad when people stay together because they need to as opposed to because they want to. But unfortunately, love and romance, is finicky.
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Interesting question Woggle. I think male/female relationships have always been strained because both have exploited each other culturally in one way or another for a long time. Women have been exploited for sex or free labour at home whilst men have been exploited for money and as work horses. Women ehave only fairly recently in history been able to be educated and work in case the husband they marry abuses them or gets them stuck in a marriage they can't be in. I also think equality, although I think equality is IMPORTANT and NECESSARY for men and women to function, has made some people think that you can do away with respect for one another. For instance if women are seen as equal, some see it as okay to punch them or call them horrible words because they are equal so they can treat them like men, ignoring the fact that people shouldn't be treated in that way regardless of whether they are men or women and also that equality never says that men think, feel or react in the same way, just that they should be entitled to opportunities to work and be educated so that they can lead an independent life. But if culturally male/female relationships are strained, personally they don't need to be. Although I have strong issues with men, my closest and most loved friend is my younger brother. My issues with men in general never extend to him personally. I don't even see him as male. He is just my soul mate.
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Also, I would add, just like in your situation, parents can breed resentment for the opposite gender in their children. At some point someone has to break the cycle and say 'I will not assume and hate people who I do not know because I have been conditioned to hate the collective they belong to'.
irc333 Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 It's mainly selfishness. Just because divorce rates are higher doesn't mean happiness is lower. There's just a different mentality. People used to stay together while miserable more quickly than they do so now.
Author Woggle Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 Woggle, was it the article, your mother or something someone else said? Don't pick up the crack pipe again. As far as men and women not liking each other, there are men I can't stand and others I adore, where most fall in between. LS is not the place to find reality or happiness. It's a place to find pain and misery. I'm not picking up the crack pipe again. I just look around me at the way men and women treat each other and it is downright depressing.
Author Woggle Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 Interesting question Woggle. I think male/female relationships have always been strained because both have exploited each other culturally in one way or another for a long time. Women have been exploited for sex or free labour at home whilst men have been exploited for money and as work horses. Women ehave only fairly recently in history been able to be educated and work in case the husband they marry abuses them or gets them stuck in a marriage they can't be in. I also think equality, although I think equality is IMPORTANT and NECESSARY for men and women to function, has made some people think that you can do away with respect for one another. For instance if women are seen as equal, some see it as okay to punch them or call them horrible words because they are equal so they can treat them like men, ignoring the fact that people shouldn't be treated in that way regardless of whether they are men or women and also that equality never says that men think, feel or react in the same way, just that they should be entitled to opportunities to work and be educated so that they can lead an independent life. But if culturally male/female relationships are strained, personally they don't need to be. Although I have strong issues with men, my closest and most loved friend is my younger brother. My issues with men in general never extend to him personally. I don't even see him as male. He is just my soul mate. I don't think it is okay to treat anybody like that but what happens too often these days is that some women think they have the right to verbally and physically abuse a man and if he fights back then he is considered the abuser. I agree that nobody should treat anybody like that but it goes both ways. I talk to so many people who have been scarred by the gender war and I wonder what can be done to heal the wounds because it is hurting a lot of people.
oaks Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Are things really as bad as they seem No. and if so what if anything can be done to heal this rift? Close the Internet.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I think women fear what men will do to them physically, and men fear what women will do to them emotionally. Neither is healthy, but both have sex drives, so it's a pure hell.
Taramere Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 It is clear that today gender relations are not good. The divorce rate is skyrocketing and the majority of people in marriages and relationships are miserable. Romance is pretty much dead in our society and men and women become more bitter towards each other everyday. Men blame women for the current state of affairs and women blame men and neither side seems willing to budge. Men call women all types of names and women let us know everyday how unneeded and obsolete we are. I just got done reading the comments on an article and I think it is pretty much hopeless. Are things really as bad as they seem and if so what if anything can be done to heal this rift? I've heard "I hate men" more times than I can remember from a gay male friend of mine. It's not gender that's the problem....it's the highs and lows of love, the hopes and expectations it carries with it - how people feel, and whether they will cope, when those hopes and expectations don't come to fruition.
Recommended Posts