42 & 22

[Magnolia214]

Hello Everyone! I would just like to get an overview on what poeple's thoughts are in regards to relationships with a big age difference.Do you think that there is a possibilty that the relationship may last into marriage?Can it only be short term?

 

Keep in mind that he never would even consider dating women with such a big age difference.He never thought it was possible, didn't cross his mind, until now. He has never been married.

 

I'd love to read your thoughts.

[HokeyReligions]

Age differences can be overcome with love and hard work and acceptance that not everyone will be in favor of it. It's not everyone's business though, is it?

 

Is he the 42 y/o? Hopefully he is young-at-heart and can keep up with a younger woman.

 

Is he the 22 y/o? How is he going to deal with sagging body parts and wrinkles on his wife and maybe not having children, etc.?

 

 

It can work out, but be realistic about what a person's body goes through during the different ages/phases of life and how those things may impact lifestyle and love.

[Arabess]

It depends on the two people involved. Every person has their own comfort zone regarding an 'age' difference. Mine would probably only be 10 years either way. If 20+ works for you....ENJOY IT!

[End of my rope]

Hi. My name is Amanda and I'm a 23 year old divorcee.

 

I was married to an older man. He was 35 and I was 18. It didn't work. When you're young (and I still consider 22 young) you don't really know yourself fully yet. You have a lot of growing and maturing ahead of you. I'm not saying that a relationship with an age diff can't work...just that it's VERY hard. The younger person is going to grow and change and the older one may not be able to accept that. So if you think you both are open minded and can grow together, then full steam ahead. IMO, if you have ANY resorvations, it's probably not worth the heartache that's still to follow.

[priscilla]

I hate to be the pessimist here, but probably not. You guys are from two different worlds pretty much. It will be fun for a while and then the novelty will wear out. Why do you want to date a guys 20 years your senior? Have you dated guys your age? You are going to change so much in the next decade with regards to what kind of guy you want, I really wouldn't encourage thinking about marriage at this point. And, there will be much resistance to the relationship from family and friends. If you guys do make it and fall in love and want to get married, however, I wish you all the luck.

[Stone]

I am 24 and my B/f is 36. a couple years ago I would have said NO WAY. but it's the best relationship I have ever been in. In my case I need to date older men for maturity reasons and I come with baggage (child). but it really depends on the maturity level of both people. I am mature for my age and he is immature for his. So it works out perfectly.

 

The only question would be is " Where are these people in their life" if they are going diffrent directions ( wich is possible with a 20 year age diffrence, it may not work)

[Magnolia214]

Your comments have only encouraged my reasons. He is 42 and I am 22.

I have dated men my age and have never felt compatible with them; I have just never connected with guys my age. I have always had an interest for older men, but never this old. Going into this relation was very odd for me as well, but now I look at him and I try to figure out where the 42 year old is. I consider myself mature for my age and he is a kid at heart. I’m pretty secure with our relationship and know that as time goes by and as I mature and become even more spiritually in tune with my self, It will only benefit this union we have both formed. Many may disagree and many may applaud us for taking a chance with love. In this end it us only up to him and I to really make things work. Great loves require great risks. We all take risks going into relationships, and if someday this man breaks my heart, I wont hate him for it. I will love him even more for all the days his love encouraged me to wake up with a smile on my face

[jane00]

Since my early 20's I have only had serious relationships with men at least 15 years older. My last relationship was with a many 29 years older (he's almost 60). I have never found a large age gap to cause issues. Love is ageless. Concentrate on the positive aspects of your relationship. All relationships will have problems...age shouldn't be one them.

[bella8464]

Hi, Magnolia. I am 23 years old and my last bf was 16 years older. I never purposely seeked out for older men, and years ago the idea would have seemed ludicrous, but it was the best relationship I ever had. We broke up because someday I really want kids and he didn't, and there were very good reasons why he didn't or shouldn't have kids. But he taught me so much about myself and what love was really about. There are a lot of things about older men that you can't find in younger men. Age doesn't matter. What matters is the love between you two, how he treats you, and how he makes you feel, and how you feel about him. Don't give up someone that gives you the butterflies just because of age. It can definitely work. One of my friends parents are 15 years apart, and I have never seen a couple more in love. Yes in the next years you will change and grow, but if this is the right man for you, he will stand by your side no matter what. He will undertsand and adapt to the changes. He will love you more with each passing day. He can help make you a better person. If he doesn't, it's not because of the age difference, it just means he isn't your one.

[alexander]

About age difference; it came to my attention that the four emotional relationships that I had in my life, each began with a young woman who was 19 years of age at the time. Without ever thinking about it, it just happened, is what I realize now.

First time I was 22 in Sweden, with Margona, we married and our first son was born. She went with her second man soon after, she wanted different fathers for her children. We divorced and I left back to my country.

At 28 I met Catharina in Amsterdam who was 19 and six years we were a couple. Later when she found it too hot in the Red Sea on our boat, she returned to cool Holland.

I was 36 when I married for the second time with 19 year old Vicky from Israel, A Sabra with a somewhat dark skin who sailed with me over the seas to the West Indies for 8 years and we had our second son. When the baby was one year old we went ashore and she eloped with a younger Brazilian.

A year later I divorced and was seduced by Linda who is black and was 19, I was 46. We had the deepest love affair two people can ever have and although we do not lived together more than three years, we speak daily and are still the best of friends for ever.

I teach my lovers freedom, business and independence, and when we part it is because our time is up, not because the love is gone. When you know what love is, you can not "un-love" somebody you ever loved.

Now a young black woman was brought to me by her mother and aunty asking me to take care of her doughter. Sariela got pregnant at 12 and a baby boy at 13. The baby went to the grandmother and Sariela started to discover her sexual potential at 14. Because her mother was afraid she would meet bad men, she asked me to be the childs lover. Which I first refused but later could not when the very young but fully grown child-woman kept pressing me to give her erotic satisfaction. We had the most amazing fun and pleasure together, and never had I such good company. Because of new immigration laws here, she was deported and disappeared from my life for almost a year. Her mother told me that out of lonelines and despair without me she got pregnant from a man she does not love in her country of birth (Dominican Republic)were she was deported to and knew nobody and her second baby was born february 19. She managed with my help to get her baby in French Guadeloupe in the West Indies and now she will get French papers for her baby and she will be able to come to me in my island legally again. We established telephone contact again and we find that we are still deeply in love with each other. Never have I felt such compassion, humor and love, emotional and erotic preference for anybody else. She makes me cry and laugh and I teach her all I know about life. When we are together there is no age difference and I ask her if she would not consider to find a younger man because in 15 years I see my end coming. She keeps reassuring me that she rather dies with me than ever go with any body else. Soon her papers will be in order and we may marry if a concubinate contract is not available...Now here you have it and you can make up your mind about age differences!!!

You asked if it would work... Who cares how long? If it works now and here is all that counts, anything can happen any time any where. Enjoy what you can when you can, and forget about the rest. Tomorrow may never come.

[FreeMe]

I think if you're having those feelings that you can't "connect" to younger men but you can to older men, then you probably have issues from childhood, involving men. If that is the case, then your relationships with older men will probably not work out.