mr.dream merchant Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Been seeing this younger woman for a couple of weeks now. We explained our situations to each other, she's looking for a relationship (new born virgin again kind of girl, has a very colored past) and myself, not really looking for a relationship but open to one, just not with her. With her it was more of a having fun it is what it is kind of deal. We've gotten kind of intimate I guess, made out, felt up on each other, lewd photos, etc... A young guy is definitely going to get horny, and I did lol. We managed to set up plans to see each other last night, given the high prices of gas a dude wanted to make sure this time when I go to see her it's worth it. So the question was asked, she got a little upset saying that we've discussed this already. I proceeded to ask her why I'm seeing her then to which she replied "I don't know, why are yu?". I didn't answer. I had to see her in a couple of hours. She texted me again, I ignored it. Couple of my homeboys had some green on them (I'm currently staying clean for better employment opportunities) but they also had beer, so I drank a little bit while they smoked and ultimately I just blew her off. Felt like my time and efforts were going to nothing. She knew I didn't want a relationship so why even let me come around if it's NSA fun that I want to have but you won't go through with it? Guess this makes me a jerk. *shrugs*. A week before all of this happened, we spent some time together walked around a bit, talked. I asked her why is it that I'm always that guy, the one who all the really loose girls want to settle down with and manage some kind of serious LTR. Her words exactly (think I'm going to remember these words for a long time): "It's because you're different. You're not like most guys, you stand out. You're sweet when you want to be, attractive and you have things going for you. Any girl no matter how trashy she is is going to want to date you. So when they meet you they try to show you their good girl side instead of just letting you have sex with them and leave like most other guys." She helped me out alot, because this is something that I've always wondered about. I'm always THAT guy. It was flattering, but I'm human to, and would love for some NSA sex but just can't get it like the other guys do and its kind of frustrating not gonna lie about that, but maybe it's a good thing in the long run? Lame but at times a guy wishes he didn't look a certain way, talk a certain way, have a certain smile, etc...all of these things I'm sure are what contributes to this end result of women wanting to date me rather than perceive me as that NSA fun dude. Ironically the one girl that I did want to date seriously only saw me was a temporary NSA fun kind of guy, and it was frustrating. Maybe I just need to take a step back and seriously evaluate a lot of things.
Stung Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 "It's because you're different. You're not like most guys, you stand out. You're sweet when you want to be, attractive and you have things going for you. Any girl no matter how trashy she is is going to want to date you. So when they meet you they try to show you their good girl side instead of just letting you have sex with them and leave like most other guys." . No woman anywhere has ever said that to you. For your next writing exercise, you should work on making both your characters and your dialogue more believable.
Mangomonkey Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 real or fake. you have the best stories. maybe its a florida thing
Author mr.dream merchant Posted March 19, 2011 Author Posted March 19, 2011 No reason to lie to an anonymous dating advice board. What would I gain out of you all thinking highly of me (not many people on these boards do anyways)? Not much, well without sugar coating things - nothing. If it's praise I'm looking for, I know just where to go with the right amount of clothing. She honestly said that to me, maybe she was trying to "run game" on me. She isn't the first one I've heard this from, but wanted that second opinion from a woman who wasn't family. But that much seems to be true, a couple of guys I know do this same thing with a woman who they deem "a keeper". If there's something about them that they know she wouldn't like, they'll either stop doing it or keep it hidden. So it's surprising that it's never crossed my mind that women would do this same thing. I call it game, because to me game is just being everything that the person wants so you can get what you want out of them. I don't believe in game, used to in younger days, but not anymore. Learned the hard way that having game will only cost you in the long run, especially if it's with a woman you've grown to love and care for. You get comfortable, the game mask comes off, and you become your true self, the person she fell in love with initially isn't there anymore, then she breaks it off with you. Rambling a bit, back to the point- How can I not be that guy? What needs to be toned down? Naturally around attractive woman I'm a bit on the flirty side, but not too heavy, just in a charming polite way. Smile alot, give em the look, keep that posture straight, shoulders broad, chivalrous, etc.. That's the natural me around attractive..well, women period. Perhaps the settings I hang out with these women in? I usually take them to places where it's not really that party have fun vibe, more of a smooth relaxed atmosphere where we can be alone and with each other, talking, etc.. Not saying I deserve some ass the first night I'm out with them, would like to get to know them, help them get comfortable around me, then well, let nature take it's course. I just keep hitting the same obstacle over and over again, these women (ones I have no intention of dating in a serious LTR) always try to push for that serious LTR, even after I make it known it's not what I'm looking for. What confuses me is that these same women are the party have fun girls but when dealing with me they want to date. Maybe they feel I'm too judgemental so they try to not look trashy about it? Could really use some advice from an older more experienced guy. Where's CarHill when ya need him?
Knittress Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Could really use some advice from an older more experienced guy. Where's CarHill when ya need him? It IS Saturday.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 It IS Saturday. True. Would've been out on South Beach but life has other plans for me. Best of luck to my boys out there, heard it's insane. Everyone is down for Spring Break.
Emilia Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 you are obviously seen as a good catch by women in your socio-economic class. I think you should go for better quality/better class women, they definitely won't want an LTR with you but if you are lucky they will agree to NSA sex. I'm sure you will be back on this board complaining that good quality women don't take you seriously
Author mr.dream merchant Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 (edited) you are obviously seen as a good catch by women in your socio-economic class. I think you should go for better quality/better class women, they definitely won't want an LTR with you but if you are lucky they will agree to NSA sex. I'm sure you will be back on this board complaining that good quality women don't take you seriously Bolded parts - yes, and a double yessss! Underlined part - hmmm, is this because of my loose view on NSA sex? -Edit- While studying she managed to send me a text, the conversation played out like this: Her: Hey Me: ? Her: I can't say hi? Me: Sure Her: You don't want to talk to me anymore? Me: No point, we're both not giving each other what we want Her: I still want to be friends though Me: Nah, I'm good Her: Ugh, I guess Laughed to myself when she offered me friendship, I've got enough friends. Didn't want to have sex with me but wanted to keep me around as someone she could talk to, not having it. This is the second friendzone dodged within the year. The first one was a woman who was borderline ready to jump into bed with me but ended up shelving me to get back with her boyfriend. When questioned about all the lewd photos, sexually explicit convos, Victoria's Secret tryout second opinion company, etc..she told me she was in a hard spot in her life, then extended me an offer of friendship. Then, like just now, I laughed and calmly told her that I don't befriend women I want to ****. She laughed and commented on my vulgar language I didn't reply, never heard from her. She is now happily involved with her boyfriend but she made sure to keep that brief period of their break where she was throwing herself at me, a dirty little secret. Scary isn't it? Who knows what the woman you're trying to court or currently involved with has done that she won't tell you. Another question - Why do women try to friendzone you after denying you sex, a motive you made obvious and at one time or another, she was okay with the idea of giving it to you? Edited March 20, 2011 by mr.dream merchant
dispatch3d Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 Dude, just stop putting any effort in and they will go away on their own. The girl who said hi I would just say hi back chat briefly then tell her I have to go I'm doing x (or some other lame excuse). The only reason I say this is why the need to burn bridges? Doesn't seem necessary. Just ignore/make excuses/say you don't constantly text any of your friends so stop being so demanding.........
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