No_hope Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I don't think I will ever get a second chance, but usually no contact is in this thread. alright I was with my ex for 2 years, 6 weeks before our wedding he broke up me with for someone else. Found out he had been cheating on me with her for 2 months. Anyways I un friended him from facebook and he called me and told me to re add him so we can keep in contact about our child (don't know why he did that) so I re-added him. well the other woman after 2 1/2 months moved two states away and he is all depressed about it, saying how "life has turned on him" and he is saying how she will always have a piece of his heart, and she took his soul with her two states away, how he wont ever meet anyone else, and wont get together with anyone "specially my babys momma" and saying how much he loves her and how much he misses her and blah blah blah -saying all this sweet crap. And every time I see this, it sets me back. anyways I am going to un friend him again, but I am moving an hour away with our child, and I don't think he knows... he wont talk to me but I am sure family have told him. So I was thinking about sending this no contact message (I am on day 11 of full blown no contact) "Hi _____ I am un friending you from facebook, not because I hate you, but because when ever I see your posts I get set back. I know you love someone else and I have accepted that. I will re-add you when I feel strong enough to see your posts. In a few days you will not be able to get a hold of me by my house phone, but when you are ready too see our son, just give me a text or call my cell phone. I can drop him off at your grandmothers before you visit him, that way we will avoid the awkward run in. Also I am sorry to say, I can't be your friend, but we should still be polite and civil to one another. is this okay? It doesn't sound desperate or clingy. Not too much info. But I don't know.. I thought I would send it out your you LSers before sending it to him.
Author No_hope Posted March 19, 2011 Author Posted March 19, 2011 I really would like to know if this is a good idea or not... Or some advise, its 5 in the morning, I have been up for 24 hours.
CaliGuy Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 (edited) Nope and read my "So you want a second chance?" thread to find the answers. There should be a link on this post. Edited March 20, 2011 by CaliGuy
Art_Critic Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 bad idea.. and just sending any letter written such as you have composed is desperate and clingy and comes off that way too.. Sorry....
The dot Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I really would like to know if this is a good idea or not... Or some advise, its 5 in the morning, I have been up for 24 hours. Sending someone a letter just defeats the purpose of no-contact. Here is what you do: 1. DELETE and BLOCK him from facebook, email, telephone and so on. Don't "unfriend" him, BLOCK him so he can't contact you either. 2. If he shows up on your doorstep, call the police immediately and get a restraining order. Make your you don't have his address anymore either. 3. Move on with your life. Follow these steps, and you'll be ok in about a week or so.
eternalsunrise Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I agree with the dot.^^ The most empowering way to move forward with your life is by YOU letting go of the mere attachment to even need to announce what you're doing for him. Actions speak louder than words. What you intend to do is completely rife with irony by sending that email. There is no need to.
betterdeal Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I think it's a bad idea as you are not in contact any more and this letter is a form of contact. Okay, you have a child and for that reason alone, you have a practical reason to tell him something about your life. If you wish to contact him, let it be solely because you feel your child will do better to have contact with his or her father, and make that contact be only about that. Words to this effect will work: I am writing to let you know I have moved house. You can call me on my new number (555 1234) to arrange times to visit our son/daughter. That's all you need to say. Alternatively, you can tell him to contact you via a trusted third party (with their agreement) such as your parents, for example. You have split up. You are not a couple. He has not been very friendly, has he? So why be friends with someone who isn't very friendly? Don't. Be friends with people who make you happy, not people who make you sad.
The dot Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I think it's a bad idea as you are not in contact any more and this letter is a form of contact. Okay, you have a child and for that reason alone, you have a practical reason to tell him something about your life. If you wish to contact him, let it be solely because you feel your child will do better to have contact with his or her father, and make that contact be only about that. Words to this effect will work: I am writing to let you know I have moved house. You can call me on my new number (555 1234) to arrange times to visit our son/daughter. That's all you need to say. I wouldn't even do that. That sort of thing is what lawyers are for. Let his lawyer and your lawyer do the arguing over visitation rights, and just abide by what they say.
0hpenelope Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Nope and read my "So you want a second chance?" thread to find the answers. There should be a link on this post. bad idea.. and just sending any letter written such as you have composed is desperate and clingy and comes off that way too.. Sorry.... I vote for these, too. Your intentions for sending the letter will backfire on you, No_hope. I hope you decide against sending it.
Andymack Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 (edited) Don't send it. I did this and all it did was make my ex mad. I know that you just want to do something that will convince him to change his mind and i think everybody on this board is looking for that magic formula but the sad thing is that it probably doesn't exist and when they're gone they're gone. Edited March 20, 2011 by Andymack
Perplexed81 Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Absolutely NOT! Imagine calling one someone to tell them your not gonna call them anymore. Kinda of an oxymoron...not being mean, i just like to keep things short and simple.
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