nxsmstng Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 hello everyone, i am trying to decide whether to break up with my gf or stay. i am leaning towards breaking up. i am new here so i appreciate any feedback. well we've been dating for 2 years. we've got into some bad arguments. but i always tried to make things right. i love this girl more than anything but i think i deserve better. She does a lot for me, cooks, cleans, she is gorgeous (first runner up in miss ohio usa, not to brag, giving her credit) but past that i get nothing. everyone shows love in different ways, maybe thats her way but i beg to differ. i think its a way to keep me around. i do everything for her, i could go on and on about everything. one day, out of nowhere, when she was gone i set up rose petals all over the place, from the door to the dinner table and to the bathroom and surrounded the tub and sink with them, lit candles all over the place, cooked dinner and desert for her, gave her a massage, and then ran a bath for her(i have pictures to prove it) but that is just one of the things i've done. bought her things i remembered she had mentioned she wanted, did things she wanted to do. i would have done anything for her but this is what i got in return... in our last fight she tried jumping out of my blazer while i was driving, jerked the wheel and i stopped, and she ran to my parents house, which was a block away and told them i beat her and threw her out of a moving vehicle, which was not true at all. later posted on facebook that i was a woman beater and was offering up my address to a bunch of douche bags, that puts my family in harms way.. cops were involved with that. then she proceeded to apologize and take it off because she did it bc she was mad at me. she told me that she was trying to break up with me for 13 months but didnt because i loved her. she said that her ex would contact her on and off asking for her to come back and marry her, and that this millionaire she knew asked her to marry him and she said no for me... if she loved me they wouldnt be options in my opinion.. when we'd fight, she'd say we dont work out and we shouldnt be together, yet when we do fight and i say its over, she'll cry and somehow convince me to stay. i think its because she would have been homeless without my income. she stars dumb fights with me and then jumps to the victim role. like, way to ignore me, you dont love me anymore, and i'd say i do love you, i was talking to my dad, and she'd say why are u being mean, stuff like that. she hates my friends, and when we go out, shes attached to my hip and doesnt talk to any of my friends obviously. so i am a different person when im out with her. she is so depressed all the time, she doesnt work, she doesnt have any friends to hang out with, which in our 2 years together i have not met 1, yet they text her all the time. every fight we'd get in she'd mention her ex, her stories are never straight. she is very judgmental of everybody, every girl in her eyes is a slut, and she's never willing to compromise. when she has an issue with me she tells it to me whether i like it or not. i try to talk to her about the things that bother me and automatically i am being mean. i cant talk to her about anything. it kills me because i've known her since elementary school, and our moms were good friends. i love her still, idk why but i cant take this anymore. i am not saying im perfect, i am not. but if were keeping score, i gave more in one day than she did in our whole relationship. i feel like i've been played for a fool, she filed for bankruptcy and while i lived with her i paid more than i should have, bought her more than i should have, done way more than i should have because i got nothing in return. i feel like i was being kept around so she could get back on her feet. and maybe thats not the case, cause now we are back at each others parents house, i still dont feel like she loves me even though she says she does and when i do end it, im going to be the biggest a-hole there is. should i dump her?
fleur_de_me Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 this girl seems a little crazy- i don't care how hot she is or how well she cooks. if you're a good guy (and not a woman-beater as she claims), then you definitely deserve someone better. honestly. i understand how hard it is to love someone who doesn't treat you the way you deserve, but things like this don't go away, they don't get better on their own. she won't magically wake up one day and be a sweet and kind person. figure out what you want, figure out what it is important to you, and decide if she fits into that. i think if you have any value for your own life and what you want in a partner, i think you'll realize she's lacking. i know it isn't easy, but you have one life- do you want to grow old with this woman? is she still going to mistreat you and lie and be a drama queen 5 years from now or 20 years from now? probably. you don't want that. good luck!
depplover_1980 Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Yeah you have yourself a real fruit loop. These relationships are a destructive cycle to be in and a bit addictive and can leave the victim questioning their own judgement, like you are here. You deep down know that her behaviour is unacceptable, but you have lost the confidence and conviction to execute the end. I don't think you'll regret walking away and you may do her a favour because it may be the kick she needs to start looking at herself, other than the mirror.
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