quietGuy13 Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I cry. well i mean i'm weak and i whine when i get hurt( which is always) like now i'm having pain in my throat and i panick. i'm always negative and think i'm gonna die. Do women not like guys like me? do they only like guys who get hurt and tough it out and dont say anything even if they get cut
whichwayisup Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I cry. well i mean i'm weak and i whine when i get hurt( which is always) like now i'm having pain in my throat and i panick. i'm always negative and think i'm gonna die. Do women not like guys like me? do they only like guys who get hurt and tough it out and dont say anything even if they get cut There's a big difference of crying when in pain (broken heart, an accident which causes physical pain, or a death etc) and being negative alot and thinking you're going to die. You need to put things in perspective, that's all. So you have a pain in your throat. Why are you panicking? Chances are either you're coming down with something or you have allergies. Sounds like you have some health anxiety happening. What do you mean you're weak? Emotionally or physically? And you are always hurt or always hurting? Women like confident men, but also men that aren't afraid of showing real emotion. Not ALL the time, but at times. Hope that makes sense.
carhill Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 The good news is, if you hang around them long enough, you learn not to cry. Then you become a 'man who can't/won't show his feelings'. If ever there was a conundrum in life, this is it. Good luck BTW, do you think a woman is a loser if she shows her feelings by crying? I recall going to a good friend's funeral last year and watching in amazement how these men stood up and told heart-warming stories about the decedent without even a quiver in their voices. Me, it was all I could do to keep from sobbing into my handkerchief. I hadn't learned well enough. What worked for me was getting it out privately and processing the pain differently in public; effectively stifling the emotions. It takes work but is doable. You'll get as many opinions as there are women. IMO, do what you feel is healthy for you. No one else wears your underwear. It's your life.
Feelin Frisky Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I used to cry when I was happy but John Boehner ruined all of that for me now.
Woggle Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I was called a shell of a man for crying at the funeral of a murdered friend. I think that says it all.
yessy21 Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I cry. well i mean i'm weak and i whine when i get hurt( which is always) like now i'm having pain in my throat and i panick. i'm always negative and think i'm gonna die. Do women not like guys like me? do they only like guys who get hurt and tough it out and dont say anything even if they get cut negative? die? because of a pain in ur throat? uhhh... dont do that around girls ... were attracted to people that can protect us as we can care for u. not people that are going to cry because they got a cold.
Mrlonelyone Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 LMy history of crying at times and in stituaions which are considered typical for a woman are part of why I see myself as bigendered. I have cried for joy pain sadness and all of that. I have been moved to tears by well performed classical music. Supposedly a real man has to be a stoic rock....that BS is just that. I realized that there is more than one way to be a man. Men can cry and emote "like women" women can be stoic like men. Just emote how you feel and if someone thinks you are weak screw them. Be you.
denise_xo Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I want and deeply appreciate a man who is able to display the full range of emotions, including crying. It makes me feel much safer with someone because I feel he's genuine and 'for real'. I'm scared of bottled up alpha males. I'm not too patient with men (or women) who think they are going to die because they have a cold. My partner is like that and I find it totally annoying, as well as alienating because when he creates high drama and declares his imminent departure from this world due to a basic cold, I just can't identify with any of it and don't really know what to say. But it's not like it's a deal breaker or something I consider a significant issue in the relationship.
Titania22 Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Funny you should ask, because this is my favourite song at the moment.
betterdeal Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 When you see a sportsman crying at the missed goal, the red card, do you see a loser or do you see a man?
blackmagik Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I have and will never cry in front of a girl, ever. Girls want don't want a guy who cries as much as them. How would you ever protect a girl if you are a crier? I know a LOT of woman who would never date a guy who cried, seriously.
Mrlonelyone Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I cried a tear just now from looking at this image of the earth and moon taken from a distance of more than the distance that separates earth and the sun. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Earth_and_Moon_seen_from_183_million_kilometers_by_MESSENGER.png
Disillusioned Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I cry, and what of it? The last guy who made fun of me for crying got his face rearranged by yours truly.
Ross PK Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 In the UK a man crying is okay, unless he's being over emotional and crying because he saw a puppy or something. The latter would put most women off. I America I've heard that it's not supposed to be okay for a man to cry, even if it's over something appropriate, like his wife leaving him, or his friend dying or something. I find it very hard to cry myself, I wish it wasn't like this because if I'm really upset about something, I know crying would make me feel better.
spice4life Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I cry, and what of it? The last guy who made fun of me for crying got his face rearranged by yours truly. Hahaha! Now that was funny! And something that can be respected I might add.
lizwashere Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I cry. well i mean i'm weak and i whine when i get hurt( which is always) like now i'm having pain in my throat and i panick. i'm always negative and think i'm gonna die. Do women not like guys like me? do they only like guys who get hurt and tough it out and dont say anything even if they get cut In all honesty, many women, myself included appreciate men who are empathetic and are not affraid to show emotional depth. But that's not exactly what you're describing in your post - if you think you're going to die at the onset of every little ailment you sound immature and desparate for attention and that is not in any way attractive to an adult female.
Mrlonelyone Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I have and will never cry in front of a girl, ever. Girls want don't want a guy who cries as much as them. How would you ever protect a girl if you are a crier? I know a LOT of woman who would never date a guy who cried, seriously. I would use my Glock 20 or any heavy object that was close at hand... that's how I would protect a girl. Let's be honest IRL most attackers are going to be armed.
Intricategirl Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 In all honesty, many women, myself included appreciate men who are empathetic and are not affraid to show emotional depth. But that's not exactly what you're describing in your post - if you think you're going to die at the onset of every little ailment you sound immature and desparate for attention and that is not in any way attractive to an adult female. This, but let me expand on it... I had one guy that cried because he was told by his lawyer that he wouldn't be able to get custody of his son because the situation hadn't really changed. I hadn't told him, but I already knew this was going to be the case. He cried because he was upset. I didn't think badly of him. I had another guy who cried because he broke up with his last girlfriend and then broke up with me because he wasn't over her. Then he cried later because I wouldn't take him back. Loser. Not because he cried, but because he is indecisive and wants me to jump as soon as he's ready, without giving a damn whether I am or not. I had another guy- covered in tattoos and piercings, 20 years and a 4th degree black belt in martial arts- just looked like one tough mofo. He called me drunk and crying so hard because a friend of his died. I actually considered his tears an honor, because he didn't share those with just anybody. He kept apologizing for crying, and said he doesn't like to because he's tougher than that, and the reason it was such an honor is because he doesn't often allow himself that vulnerability or openness. He felt safe opening up to me. Drunk and crying should have been a massive turnoff, but the real, raw emotions of it were powerful. -------------------------------------------------- Whining is not the same as crying. I'm a girl, pulled a file cabinet down the stairs on top of myself, got a bruise that is about the size of a couple dollar bills, and picked my butt up and walked upstairs. It hurt, and it'll heal. If I hadn't been able to get upstairs- THEN I would have cried. YMMV. Crying because you think you're going to die- well, do you have any basis for this assumption? My mom is literally dying of cancer. She's got reason to cry. If you don't have a reason to think that death is pretty imminent, what are you crying about? Crying because a friend died, or because you've gone through a major blow in terms of a relationship ending or losing a job, or learning you're not getting custody of your child- understandable. I EXPECT you to cry, and will in all honesty probably think less of you if you DON'T. One form is about being vulnerable, which is a good thing in a relationship. The other is about being attention starved.
Mrlonelyone Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I think the OP may be a germophobe. Which is a mental issue. Mental issues are still health issues and his crying thinking he'll die may not be just being attention starved or immature or whatever. So yes he could have as much reason to cry as a clinically depressed person.
lizwashere Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I think the OP may be a germophobe. Which is a mental issue. Mental issues are still health issues and his crying thinking he'll die may not be just being attention starved or immature or whatever. So yes he could have as much reason to cry as a clinically depressed person. If that's the case then he should seek medical help ASAP and realize that many people willl not be very accepting of his behavior in a romantic relationship. Let me also add that I don't take mental health issues likely - I have a relative who I'm very close to who has struggled with severe depression for many years and who tried an attempt on her life some twenty years ago.
Trimmer Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I cry, and what of it? The last guy who made fun of me for crying got his face rearranged by yours truly. Did he cry?
sally4sara Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 For me it would largely depend on what he was crying about. Scrape your knee? I don't cry over minor scuffing. Compound fracture? I'm surprised you stopped screaming long enough to whip up some tears but it would be completely understandable out of anyone. Got in a argument with your cable provider and crying over it - yeah I'd find that weird out of anyone. Serious emotional turmoil? If you were not crying I'd be checking for a heart beat.
aliciawalkers Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 It's not the crying that's a deal-breaker but what would worry me the most is you thinking negative all the time, thinking that you're going to die. It's ok for everyone to have a fall once in a while as no one is a machine but to constantly be depressed is not good. I think it would be a good suggest if you start seeking a counselor. As a woman, I don't really see crying a solution to problems. In the end after shedding tears, you would still be left with the problem. This means you wasted several minutes or perhaps an hour, when you could have solve that already and move on to something else. I think it's the fact that I'm a busy woman with a super tight schedule that keeps me from becoming depressed or I simply don't see the point of crying. If I were to, then it would be for a couple second/minutes and then I'm back to my old self again. Now if it was the death of a family member or something, then yes it's understandable.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Emotions (happiness, anger, fear, sadness) need to be let out. If not, they fester in your body and impact your health. Ever notice that while it can feel awful to bawl your guts out, you feel SO much better after you're done? You've gotta get that crap OUT. Then you can get on with things. I've seen every guy I've been serious with cry, always during emotional, tough times. I never thought less of them, and seeing them hurting like that evoked my empathy.
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