VJohnson32 Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Hello to all, i hope I get some answers here. i will try and give you the short story, since i really dont want to write so much. So about 3 years ago i met that nice quiet and not very attractive girl who felt in love with me i was mostly using her just to have fun on the side since i was seeing about 3 more girls. Wasnt really looking for a relationship, i was young and was just looking for a good time at that time. But she kept bugging me and pushing me to be in a relationship. I mean constantly. So i finally broke in and decided to date her and see how it goes. After two months of dating her and being her i had enough and we were driving and i told her that i didnt want to be with her anymore and i was breaking up with her then she broke down so bad started crying and going into a deep depression it was very ugly she made me pull the car over got out and was crying so loud. So i felt bad and felt pity for her and didnt want to see her struggle so i changed my mind and gave her another chance. So fast forward after 1 year of being with her i still wasnt in love with her but stayed with her out of pity, i know it sucks. She was so annoying and kept buggin me all the time and i couldnt take it anymore... then after awhile she got kicked out of her parents place and was depressed and had nowhere else to go so decided to ask her to move in with me because again i felt bad for her. We lived together for another year until i couldnt take it anymore so i decided to break up with her again, lol. Again she broke down so bad and begged me so many times to take her back and she kept telling me how much she loves me and wants to be with me and no one else will love me like she does and all that ...and i felt bad and changed my mind so i took her back. She got pregnant twice with me awhile ago the first baby she had an abortion because we werent ready for a baby and the second she lost it. We were both very hurt since we wanted to have the second baby but after awhile all was going fine and we were planing out future together and she kept bugging me to propose to her so we could get married and have a family... but i was taking my time, wanted to make sure i was making the right move... Now she has always been a bit fluffy (chubby) Recently she lost alot of weight due to surgery... and from seeing her and talking to her every single day she became very distant and it would always call me and tell me she cant come over she has to study or she wants to see her family. And i was fine with that, i was seeing her 3 times a week then it became twice a week and before she broke up with me it was once i week. Until i called her and asked her whats going on and out of blue she said she wasnt feeling it anymore and wasnt in love with me anymore. She said she loved me like her brother and i was like well thats how i love you, i was never in love with you in a first place but we have each other and thats what matters. So basically she broke the news down over the phone then the next day she came over crying and telling me how sorry she is because she hurt me so much but she cant change her feelings for me. I told her thats fine, as long as you are happy and dont regret it later...she wanted to stay friends with me and i tried but i realized how hurt i was so i told her to leave me alone for awhile to heal myself. We agreed not to talk to each for 2 months. After the first two weeks, i kept getting calls from her telling me she misses me and all that crap and i ask her if she wants to get back together and she kept saying no, im sorry. so i was like ok then dont call me then. After 2 more weeks i get another call from her wanting to see me and talk to me, so i thought she changed her mind ... but apperantly she just want to mess with me show me how much weight she has lost and how nice she looks. So i talk to her if she wants to get back together she kept saying no, not now. I need to concentrate on me for a change and what not. And ive always been there for her, got her a car and had a place for her to stay she never did anything for me. So when i got home broken down i wrote her an email telling her about what we have been through and all the good memories we had and she replied with a pretty cold respond telling me how much ive hurt her and she needed someone thats more affectionate and passionate in her life and thats she has so much confidence in herself and she deserves better. I was shocked, i took her in took care of her when nobody wanted to, her family doesnt even want her she had no friends i was her only friend i ever got her a car and a bank account since she had screwed a credit and took care of her for 2 months while she had no job. Then she disappeared for about a month until i got a call from her, telling me about her life and the changes she has made and kept asking me if i was seeing someone and i actually i was seeing someone and told her about and she cut me off and told me she had to go. The next day she called me again and apologized for cutting me off and ask me to tell her more about the girl i was seeing and i told her she took it very well but i also told her that it was just casual and wasnt looking for a long term relationship and then she said only with me right? i was like what? Then she said, you want long term only with me ...and i was no unfortunately you hurt me way too much and i cant trust u anymore. So she said it was fine and told me to keep in touch with her. Several days later she calls me and tells me about a date she went on and how bad it was and she likes me and all that i told her well maybe you should date some more and maybe you will find the one and she said no im not looking for anyone right now and telling me how she hasnt gotten laid in such a long time and she needs to and im like well, find someone...not she has been calling me but i ignore her calls. Im pretty sure she broke up with me because she was seeing somebody else but had no guts to tell me and was afraid i was gonna break up with her again and now maybe she changed her mind wants me back but is afraid to ask me because i will reject her again. Im really confused here, some days i want her back and some i just remember all the bad days and dont want her anymore... dont know what to do. Dont want to ask her if she wants to get back together because i feel like shes gonna say no to me and put me back to square one. And deep inside i think she likes that, me wanting her and wanting to beg her to take me back. Its the first time since she had control over me and the relationship. Its been 2 months now and i feel alot better should i just keep ingoring her? Need some help...
Mcnulty Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 You never said you were in love with her...on the post, so why the pain? Ego maybe? You're both playing head games, well you were and she IS! End of the road.
Author VJohnson32 Posted March 19, 2011 Author Posted March 19, 2011 I wasnt in love but love her ... i spent 3 years with her inseparable. I was her best friend and she was my best friend. Maybe i was just hurt because I lost a friend? She betrayed me and hurt me...
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