tincanman99 Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Without going into all the details a woman about a month ago was flirting like crazy with me. I was unsure what to do and was considering fading on her but than she faded on me. Became an ice cube over night. Serves me right . The last time I spoke with her she was playing with her phone and she was kind of ignoring me so I jokingly said to her "I will leave you alone, I got the message" and walked away. Since than I have backed way, way off. Left her alone because thats what I assumed she wanted. Except....for the fact since I stopped talking to her she now keeps making sure she says hi to me. And goes out of her way to do it. I have started avoiding her and generally ignoring and not acknowledging her now. It got to the point last night we were in the same class I just treated her like all the other people I barely know. It culminated today when I was leaving I walked out almost right on top of her and she smirked at me. I dont understand - I backed off. So why bother with me at this point?
Mrlonelyone Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Here's my guess. She really liked having your attention. She also thought you were so into her that she could be an icy b1tch to you and you would chase her. She judged wrong. She really would like to have your attention back so she can get a further boost from ignoring you. Or possibly she realized once she did not have you she figured out that she wanted you.
Author tincanman99 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 I may be stupid at times but I wont do the pursuit thing if you are treating me badly. I have self respect and I leave. Go enjoy your life without me. So are you telling me she keeps doing this stuff so I give her the attention so she can smack me down again?
spackle Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 maybe she sensed you were beginning to fade on her and she pulled the plug on you..which it appears you didn't like..she now gets to watch your attraction/interest in her (because she pulled away) grow.
Mrlonelyone Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 I may be stupid at times but I wont do the pursuit thing if you are treating me badly. I have self respect and I leave. Go enjoy your life without me. So are you telling me she keeps doing this stuff so I give her the attention so she can smack me down again? Yes there are people.... men and women (I have to say that so it doesn't become a gender war. Like your interested in men.) who have a need to exercise some level of "power" in any relationship. Such people are called sociopaths. She's not likely a full on sociopath...but it sounds like she has a little of that streak in her. I don't buy that she could know you were going to fade on her unless she was psychic.
Author tincanman99 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 The last time I really talked to her we were having a good time. No inkling of bad vibe. She faded the following week and than I backed way off. The smirk thing tonight was what killed me. What was that about?
fishtaco Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Hot & cold. Games many women like to play. That is all. If you like her, play along. If you don't, then, well, it shouldn't matter what game she's playing. I have a tendency to be social. So if she acts friendly toward me, I'll act friendly toward her. If she gets the wrong message and think I'm flirting again, that's her problem, not mine. I do whatever I want to do. If I'm not going to hit on her, I won't. If I like the woman standing next to her, I'll hit on that woman right in front of her. Most women don't have the balls to approach men, so usually you'll be safe by just playing dumb, you don't even have to avoid her. But avoiding her is certainly one way to do it. Not my way personally (unless she's really bothering me).
mizliz Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 The last time I really talked to her we were having a good time. No inkling of bad vibe. She faded the following week and than I backed way off. The smirk thing tonight was what killed me. What was that about? Just curious. If you were having a good time and the vibes were good, why were you considering fading on her? It is possible that she sensed that "you are just not into her" and bailed first. Maybe the smirk is to let you know that? Not sure, just my thoughts.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Why do you even care? This is the second or third thread you started about her....you were about to fade because you aren't interested. Are you?
Author tincanman99 Posted March 19, 2011 Author Posted March 19, 2011 I was interested but hesitant. My issues are mine not hers but while I was flirting with her I was not hesitant. Yeah I know its like the 3rd thread. I have done my best to stay away from her after she faded on me. Why do I keep asking? Because I do like her and am attracted to her. What can I say...
mizliz Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I was interested but hesitant. My issues are mine not hers but while I was flirting with her I was not hesitant. Yeah I know its like the 3rd thread. I have done my best to stay away from her after she faded on me. Why do I keep asking? Because I do like her and am attracted to her. What can I say... You screwed yourself on this one? The smirk was a "you can't have this" lol Better luck next time.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Yeah - as a girl I can tell you that I put no stock in flirting. I only count solid moves. I went out with some guy earlier this week - we had a great time but it was vague and more friend like and he waited too long to call. Meanwhile, another guy I have been kind of seeing asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. The other guy eventually called but it was too late.
mizliz Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Because you pussy-footed around too long and someone like me called her. You got left wondering why, and someone like me made the move. You didn't hesitate to flirt you hesitated to act. Yep. Women like that. Tell us you are interested. Be direct. The man I an currently interested in said, after two coffee dates: "Can I be perfectley honest?" I said, : "Yes, please" He said: "I want to f--k you so bad!!!!!" I have never been so turned on...and it created serious tension. Fabulous energy for a date.
fishtaco Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I was interested but hesitant. My issues are mine not hers but while I was flirting with her I was not hesitant. Yeah I know its like the 3rd thread. I have done my best to stay away from her after she faded on me. Why do I keep asking? Because I do like her and am attracted to her. What can I say... Oh so you DO like her. Haha, with the way you were behaving, you'd piss me off too.
mizliz Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Oh so you DO like her. Haha, with the way you were behaving, you'd piss me off too. Exactley. Duh
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