Short term break up!

[sammmmy]

Hey,

 

Been looking on here for advise really but thought I would like to share my story and hear what you guys have to say.

 

I met a girl about 3 months ago, wow everything went perfectly, I was so happy and enjoying life to the full for the first time in a very long time.We really clicked. I had some really good times with this girl and really did think this could go somewhere and she even said that to me to. 3 weeks ago we went out for dinner and then to the theatre in London, it was such a good night, we both told each other that it was brilliant, then the next morning I left hers to go home.

 

I then get a text message saying "sam Im really not happy with us" at first I thought this was a joke and was shocked, I rang her up and asked her what the matter was and she just said she wasn't happy, I didn't know what to say as I couldn't believe that this was happening so I just said ok that cools, but it wasnt. I Left it for 2 days as I thought she might call back and explain more but she didnt so I rang her and told her how I was feeling and asked her to think about trying again, she seemed at the time quite up for it and even text me saying what would my mum think of her after she dumped me and made me miserable, I said she wouldn't care as she really liked her.

 

Then the next day I get an email first thing in the morning telling me about how she had only just gotten out of a relationship, it wasnt fair on me and all that. She had never once mentioned an Ex to me so this was so out of the blue. I sent her flowers and she just sent me a text saying thanks they are really nice, Im sorry If I have hurt you

 

I left it for another week and gave her another call telling her how much I like her and asked her what was wrong, she said that she didn't have any excitement seeing me anymore, she didn't miss me. I asked her to think about meeting up for a coffee and she said she would think about it but wouldn't make any promises, that was 3 days ago and I haven't heard anything since.

 

Im in so much pain and I am hurting so much and cant stop thinking about her and the times we had. Normally I wouldn't be to bothered but this has really upset me as we seem to get on so so well and this just came out of nowhere, and I really don't know what to think of all the excuses she is giving me. I know I cant make her like me and I would normally let it be, but I am really struggling to let this one go as it just doesn't make sense how she went from having some really great times together and both even talking about the future (she bought tickets to a concert 5 months away only 2 weeks before she dumped me) to her not wanting to see me again?

 

You all probably think Im a nutter but I needed to write something down and hopefully this will help.

 

Sam

[mr.goodguy]

Sam, you're not a nut. Just let her go...for now. NC is a must. Learn from your mistakes.

 

1. do not send a girl flowers when you aren't on speaking turns (it appears weak and needy...like you are buying her affection)

2. when not on speaking terms, do not call her to try to figure out what went wrong. Women are emotional, something didn't click, it's not something you can correct from a logical standpoint.

3. do not text her...it's gonna drive her away.

 

Essentially turn this experience (a future relationships) into your favour....learn from it! Apply a strict NO CONTACT and focus on yourself, I recommend working out or running. Move on with your life. As she is the dumper, it is her who must come back...hopefully too much damage hasn't been done. And if it has...on to the next one.

 

Hope this helps man. (btw - I've committed all three mistakes as well...and have wised up since doing so)

[heartbrokengrl]

Hey, I was in the same predicament about a week ago. Over 2 months ago, I met a guy and we had such great times, even starting to get a little bit serious and then out of the blue he breaks up with me saying that he just got out of a long relationship (8 years together and 4 years engaged). He said he was still hurting and has never been single and he doesn't want to hurt me. After he broke up, I knew about NC from past relationships, so I went into NC immediately. After 5 days, he e-mailed me saying he missed me and hoped it wasn't too late. Then I see him the next day and he said he should have never sent me that e-mail because he can't give me what I want and has no room for love and tries to end it again. When he tried to end up the 2nd time, I talked to him, no desperate, no begging, jsut that we should enjoy our time together, we're not in a rush to be anything serious and that he should relax and he said he didn't want to separate. So now we're together, and he's back to being great, e-mailing/texting, wanting to hang out, saying he misses me, I love it. However, in the back of my mind, I keep thinking he might do it again and feel like giving up on us. It scares me to death, but what I've been doing is giving him time to miss me. He's come around again, but I try to give him more space. I was never clingy with him, and I know people have breaking points and doubts, but if you just let them have their space and give her time to miss you, she may come around, or not. But you really do need to focus on yourself and give her some space. NC worked for me...for now, it's only been a week since he's been coming around again and being the nice boyfriend I once knew, but I was definitely heartbroken twice with him. We haven't even been a couple for 3 months, but I'm just enyjoing our time now, not pressuring him and he seems to be doing fine, or at least I hope. But the best advice is No Contact and keep yourself busy. It's hard not to think about her, I have the worst time beacuse I have a lot of time on my hands, but don't let her think you need her.