CBS1985 Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 I met my boyfriend over 2 years ago at work, we were really good friends which turned into a relationship...unfortunately he was married and had a 1 year old child - I know this was wrong. 18 months into our relationship he was still with his wife. After being so down for so long I ended our relationship, 1 week later his wife found an old email from me and filed for divorce. This resulted in me and him getting together in May 2010. It is now March 2011 and I have just met his daughter (10 months after we officially got together) and after months of asking if I can meet his parents he is saying he finally wants me to meet his parents. In the last 11 months we have had 4 whole weekends together. The thing is, he hasn't met any of my friends becuase he has his daughter every weekend, we never get to do things at the weekend becuase he has her every weekend. I accept that his daughter is going to be a big part of his life, but instead of focusing on the big picture he just focuses on his daughter and doesnt focus on our future at all. We can't live together becuase he has his daughter staying at his, he says there is no point in getting married becuase it didnt work for him first time round. He is too skint to do anything, and says he isnt getting paid enough at work, so cant even think about buying a house together...so when I offer to help him look for a job he says no - this is becuase his current job lets him come in late and leave early so he can see his daughter....he just isnt thinking about our future at all - or is this just me being selfish? He expects me all of a sudden to meet his parents now he is ready...I am at a point where after 10 months I kept asking to meet them, I no longer want to meet them..I'm disheartened and just feel so awkward about meeting them now. He also expects me to book holidays off work to spend it with him and his daughter...I only get 20 days holiday - is it wrong of me to say I dont want to take the day off to spend it playing with toys? Anyway...today we came to the conclusion to split, I'll never be happy with the situation. But I love him and adore him so much, he is my best friend and the best companion and I don't even want to think about anyone else. I just don't think I can cope with his circumstances... I'm mid twenties, he's late thirties. Are making the wrong decision to split up?
Mcnulty Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 No, I think you are doing the right thing splitting up. I'll tell you straight, I think you are being selfish. The age difference has shown it's ugly head by the sounds of it. He sounds like a decent man, he puts his daughter first, I have a lot of respect for that. You want different things, you don't want to spend your days off with him and his daughter...you want him, but not the full package that comes with him.
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