Whipple Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 We are both in our mid to late twenties and we have been dating each other for a little over 4 months. I just found out that for grad school I will be moving ~200 miles away. I will be in that city for 4 years. The guy I am dating will be stuck in our current city for 2 more years due to his grad school. By the time I move to the other city, we will have been dating a total of 7 months. With those basic facts, would you attempt a long distance relationship if you were in our positions and really cared about each other? Or would you just end it?
oaks Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 With those basic facts, would you attempt a long distance relationship if you were in our positions and really cared about each other? Or would you just end it? Having done an LDR over a number of years (and even though we eventually lived together, happily, for a long time) I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's the one thing I would tell myself if I could send a message back to a younger me. LDRs suck. But that's just my view.
Author Whipple Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 Having done an LDR over a number of years (and even though we eventually lived together, happily, for a long time) I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's the one thing I would tell myself if I could send a message back to a younger me. LDRs suck. But that's just my view.I've been in long distance relationships too in the past. They sucked really bad and I cringe at the thought of going back into one. But at the same time, I cringe at the thought of not giving it a chance because I really like this guy and I can totally see him as a longterm partner.
heartshaped Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Would he be flexible to move to the city you were in after he finishes grad school providing the two of you are still together? Long distance for a two years would be hard, but doable. It's when things get extremely long range with no end in sight with neither partner wishing to move or not being able to that it just becomes almost impossible.
810 Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 you do what is best for you so move away. if there's a will, there's a way. 200 miles are not that bad. my ex and i had 1300 miles between us for 1.5 years and yet he flew over every week to see me and i did the same before he came back to our city. just before you move, make sure you talk about your plans like how often you see each others etc. you'll never know what the future holds so just enjoy being with him right now.
Mensha Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 I tried an LDR, but the thing was, we started the relationship as a LDR. That circumstance does not work. It just doesn't feel special. But you two met in the same city and had a chance to really get close. 200 mile is nothing! I'm from Wisconsin and that is pretty the distance from Green bay to Madison. Thats roughly 3 hours. Hell three hours out of your week to see each other is nothing to worry about. Each week, take turns on the weekends driving to each other's cities. Even help each other out with gas. Go for it. I have a feeling you two will be just fine.
waynesworld Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 We are both in our mid to late twenties and we have been dating each other for a little over 4 months. I just found out that for grad school I will be moving ~200 miles away. I will be in that city for 4 years. The guy I am dating will be stuck in our current city for 2 more years due to his grad school. By the time I move to the other city, we will have been dating a total of 7 months. With those basic facts, would you attempt a long distance relationship if you were in our positions and really cared about each other? Or would you just end it? Like oaks, I'm against long distance relationships, having been put through the ringer once myself. What's your dating style? At that distance, you'll probably be seeing each other once a week, on weekends, if that. If you don't need much face-to-face time, then it could work. But 2 years is a long time...
stepka Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 I would do it--if you're going to be in school anyway, you'll have more time to work on your schoolwork.
oaks Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 I've been in long distance relationships too in the past. They sucked really bad and I cringe at the thought of going back into one. Quoted so that you read this advice to yourself again.
Author Whipple Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 Like oaks, I'm against long distance relationships, having been put through the ringer once myself. What's your dating style? At that distance, you'll probably be seeing each other once a week, on weekends, if that. If you don't need much face-to-face time, then it could work. But 2 years is a long time...We usually see each other twice a week on average, sometimes once a week. It depends. We're already busy people so it's not like we're seeing each other every day or every other day especially because we also enjoy our space. I understand what oaks is saying because I've been there done that. But my friends keep telling me to at least give this a try because in my last LDR, we were 2,000 miles away and the guy had some serious issues so even if we were in the same city it still wouldn't have worked out. It just sucks to end something that has basically no problems.
Recommended Posts