***Shawns NC Log***

[geegirl]

THANK YOU... i dont need to be told how immature i am. IF i wanna look at her fb page, KNOCK MYSELF OUT... its my life, at least u can understand that... If im not getting hurt looking at her page, then let me do me.

 

I think you guys are missing my point... Im trying to get back with her, not forget about her. And u can say go NC all u want, AND I DID... Im prepared to fall for another chick if the right one comes along. its not like this current ex is preventing me from finding happiness elsewhere... I just look at her page just in case theres something there thats telling me she regretted her decision. I dont see the problem in that... especially when she doesnt know any of it. Its not like im following her to her house everyday and throwing rocks at her window... TRUST ME when i say IM NOT STALKING!!! FB is like a online diary, im sure if any of u could peek into ur ex's diary WHILE she doesnt peek in yours, you most def would!

 

So for now on gimme advice on HOW TO GET HER BACK... If u cant, then DONT REPLY AT ALL. Please... It's hard enough as it is getting a million different responses then trying to figure out which is best for me... and its hard.

 

You get her back when she decides she wants you back. No way around it. No amount of looking at FB is going to get her back. No amount of analyzing her words is going to get her back. No amount of tirades are going to get her back. You're trying to clap with one hand. Stop. Step back. If you are NC and she comes back, great, you can do what you want. But if you NC and she doesn't come back, you'll be well on your way to finding indifference and moving on to bigger and better.

 

And you are getting a million different responses but everyone is telling you to NC. There is no other way. Listen. All of us can't be wrong.

Edited March 22, 2011 by geegirl

[shawn923]

I totally see Ur point geegirl... It's just sooooo hard not to peek at her page, especially when I have all the tools to, and it only takes me 2 secs. For example, I usually check it before I fall asleep, cuz that's when she's on my mind the most. And idk, it seems powerless for me not to check it sometimes. anyway u can help me with this? Cuz in all honestly, if doing this will help me get better, then I'll do it. I just need help... And a reason why I'm doing it.

 

Also, as far as getting her back, have I at least done all of those steps right? Long story short, she dumped me, I begged her back, she said no, I continued to have false hope for 2 months, then suddenly cut her off over the last weekend. So as far as trying to get her back, am I on the right track? Hopefully this will get her to finally miss me, as it's the first time I really cut her off since we met. What do u think is the next step here? Also what could be goin thru her head as well?

[Call Me Al]

Checking her FB isn't helping you. The people commenting are giving advice for your benefit. You may disagree, but it is in your best interest. Good luck.

[Layzie89]

Shawn, man the **** up. You're so damn insecure it's disgusting. You say youre on the basketball team and you can get any you want so go and do it then mr cool guy. In my opinion, thats the funniest load of bull**** ive heard in a while lol. We tell you to do something and tell you why you should do it...then you come back asking if you should do it and why you should do it. We tell you to stop thinking about what she thinks amd you ask us what will she think. You ask for advice, we give it and you disagree with it and ask for more advice until you find the amswer that YOU want to hear.

 

Your pathetic shawn, to say the least. For a 22 yo COLLEGE BASKETBALL PLAYER you should be a little more secure about yoursrlf, since you are pretty darn cool I bet. Either you start showing us a little respect and gratitude for the help weve been offering or you sit your ass back on the bench kid. That old familiar bench =)

[Mcnulty]

I'm English and I can't figure out WTF this good looking kid is saying!!!!!

 

The title to this post is Shaun's NC log. Then you say you just want help on getting her back...make your friggin mind up and don't go NC then!!! Tell her you love her and see what she says...that simple...if she bombs you out, you're a good looking guy you say, so hunt you will!!

 

You're pissing people off with your immature, contradictory nuanced personality, (look it up jock)...stop wasting writing space on here ruminating over the same thing time and time again, it's boring me to tears!!! And no, if I could look at my ex's diary as you say, i wouldn't bother, cos I'm NC FULLY, i've got better things to do with my life, like moving on with my life even though I dumped her!!!!

 

Do not ridicule people who are hurting or recovering either...makes you more of a kid than you really are!

[geegirl]

I totally see Ur point geegirl... It's just sooooo hard not to peek at her page, especially when I have all the tools to, and it only takes me 2 secs. For example, I usually check it before I fall asleep, cuz that's when she's on my mind the most. And idk, it seems powerless for me not to check it sometimes. anyway u can help me with this? Cuz in all honestly, if doing this will help me get better, then I'll do it. I just need help... And a reason why I'm doing it.

 

Also, as far as getting her back, have I at least done all of those steps right? Long story short, she dumped me, I begged her back, she said no, I continued to have false hope for 2 months, then suddenly cut her off over the last weekend. So as far as trying to get her back, am I on the right track? Hopefully this will get her to finally miss me, as it's the first time I really cut her off since we met. What do u think is the next step here? Also what could be goin thru her head as well?

 

 

Nobody said NC is easy. It's very hard. My favorite quote about NC:

 

"Without question, it is this focused, goal-oriented approach to life that distinguishes winners from losers."

 

The only way NC is going to stick with you is if you are completely sure and ready to heal and move on. And the only way you are going to be sure about whether you want to heal and move on is acceptance that she does not want to be with you. Accepting that fact will make you realize that you have to give up that hope that you are going to get back together. You still have hope. That's why you keep checking. It's not that you are powerless. You're holding on to hope. The day you let go of that, you will put yourself first, be determined to heal and get strong and move on from her. I can easily drive by my ex's house. I can walk there and stand behind the school and see who's there. I can email him and since he still wants to have "just sex", I can have him come over. I can check his FB and see what's going on. I did all that. Back and forth and NC and break NC...crazy cycle. Finally I said NO MORE. Trust me there are days I want so badly to know what's going on with him, but I gave up hope and when I did, the urges stopped and when I did have an urge, I said to myself, "Stop, this is now all about you and healing. No more hurting myself." I want so badly to feel good about myself again. That's why NC is about YOU. Not about her. The focus is YOU YOU YOU.

 

When someone wants you back, they will come for you. She knows how you feel and she knows you want her and you have shown her. There is nothing more for you to do. You cannot force someone to love you, be with you, pick you, care for you, etc. You can only do so much and after that, you let go when your attempts have failed. Turn this around, just as how you want her, if she wants you, she will be showing the same action. Don't analyze her words on FB. Words mean nothing. Look for action. Do you see her doing anything remotely close to wanting you back? I don't believe so.

 

NC is not implemented for someone to miss you. It is implemented for your well being. If while you are on NC -- FOR YOU, and she misses you, and she comes a crawling, great. You can decide then. But if she doesn't, NC is a tool for you to find indifference so your head won't be muddled anymore and your heart won't be hurt anymore.

 

Next step is for you 1) either give up hope or cling on and keep checking her FB 2) figure out whether you want to heal or stay stuck 3) ask yourself if you are you a winner or a loser?

 

What could be going through her head? Beats me! If I or you could have that power, we won't be in the situation that we are in. The question you should be asking is, 'What's going through your head?" Sieve through all that and ask yourself where you would like to be in 6 months? Still checking her FB and playing Psychic Shawn or feeling great about life and wondering who's going to be the next lucky girl that's going to make your heart spin.

Edited March 22, 2011 by geegirl

[Call Me Al]

If your goal is stuck on getting her back, you have to let her go completely. The end result of that is up tp her.

[shawn923]

Shawn, man the **** up. You're so damn insecure it's disgusting. You say youre on the basketball team and you can get any you want so go and do it then mr cool guy. In my opinion, thats the funniest load of bull**** ive heard in a while lol. We tell you to do something and tell you why you should do it...then you come back asking if you should do it and why you should do it. We tell you to stop thinking about what she thinks amd you ask us what will she think. You ask for advice, we give it and you disagree with it and ask for more advice until you find the amswer that YOU want to hear.

 

Your pathetic shawn, to say the least. For a 22 yo COLLEGE BASKETBALL PLAYER you should be a little more secure about yoursrlf, since you are pretty darn cool I bet. Either you start showing us a little respect and gratitude for the help weve been offering or you sit your ass back on the bench kid. That old familiar bench =)

 

LMFAO i wish i could put my last name so u can google me...

Why do u continue to post here? I clearly dont want, need, or ask for ur help. Seems like someone has a problem letting go of ME lmao no wonder u joined Loveshack... why the f*ck would i take advice from u? Anyways, leave me alone... DO U GET IT??? LEAVE ME ALONE LEAVE ME ALONE LEAVE ME ALONE.

 

TAKE ur old ass somewhere to get a f*ckin hobby. unlike YOU i CAN get plenty of other girls... I really dont see why u keep replying, its not like i ASKED anything outta you. Its not like ur getting notifications that MAKE u look at my forum lmao not did i ever DEMAND u give me advice.just leave me alone. Ur wasting ur typing energy.

[Call Me Al]

You are requesting advice on how to get her back, and unfortunately there really isn't any way to do that. There wouldnt be a need for a breakup forum if there was an easy, sure-fire solution to get your ex back.

 

You need to just accept that its over for now. That is all you can do right now.

 

If she comes back in 3 months, then so be it.

 

If she doesn't, you'll be moving past it anyway.

[shawn923]

Nobody said NC is easy. It's very hard. My favorite quote about NC:

 

"Without question, it is this focused, goal-oriented approach to life that distinguishes winners from losers."

 

The only way NC is going to stick with you is if you are completely sure and ready to heal and move on. And the only way you are going to be sure about whether you want to heal and move on is acceptance that she does not want to be with you. Accepting that fact will make you realize that you have to give up that hope that you are going to get back together. You still have hope. That's why you keep checking. It's not that you are powerless. You're holding on to hope. The day you let go of that, you will put yourself first, be determined to heal and get strong and move on from her. I can easily drive by my ex's house. I can walk there and stand behind the school and see who's there. I can email him and since he still wants to have "just sex", I can have him come over. I can check his FB and see what's going on. I did all that. Back and forth and NC and break NC...crazy cycle. Finally I said NO MORE. Trust me there are days I want so badly to know what's going on with him, but I gave up hope and when I did, the urges stopped and when I did have an urge, I said to myself, "Stop, this is now all about you and healing. No more hurting myself." I want so badly to feel good about myself again. That's why NC is about YOU. Not about her. The focus is YOU YOU YOU.

 

When someone wants you back, they will come for you. She knows how you feel and she knows you want her and you have shown her. There is nothing more for you to do. You cannot force someone to love you, be with you, pick you, care for you, etc. You can only do so much and after that, you let go when your attempts have failed. Turn this around, just as how you want her, if she wants you, she will be showing the same action. Don't analyze her words on FB. Words mean nothing. Look for action. Do you see her doing anything remotely close to wanting you back? I don't believe so.

 

NC is not implemented for someone to miss you. It is implemented for your well being. If while you are on NC -- FOR YOU, and she misses you, and she comes a crawling, great. You can decide then. But if she doesn't, NC is a tool for you to find indifference so your head won't be muddled anymore and your heart won't be hurt anymore.

 

Next step is for you 1) either give up hope or cling on and keep checking her FB 2) figure out whether you want to heal or stay stuck 3) ask yourself if you are you a winner or a loser?

 

What could be going through her head? Beats me! If I or you could have that power, we won't be in the situation that we are in. The question you should be asking is, 'What's going through your head?" Sieve through all that and ask yourself where you would like to be in 6 months? Still checking her FB and playing Psychic Shawn or feeling great about life and wondering who's going to be the next lucky girl that's going to make your heart spin.

 

Well yes, deep down, Im definitely holding onto hope. And i dont know why... she made it clear to me there would be no second chances. Then why did she lead me on AFTER the breakup? things like that is what gives me hope. Why did she spazz out when i erased her? It made her look jealous... it gave me hope. Although she has yet to contact me since that day if ANYBODY can answer these questions is would help my conscience...

 

Next, how exactly do i turn this around, if i havent already? i would LOVE to see her act the way i did... And its just a hard concept to grasp, knowing i want her to miss me, that TOTALLY AVOIDING her is gonna make her do that... THIS is my biggest problem And theres also the BIG chance that she never comes back... And right now, as petty as it sounds, i dont think i can do better... Well i know i can, but it scares me that i might not. I worked so hard and everything seemed so perfect in this relationship, which is why its hurting me for losing it all so fast... Im scared that obviously, the next gf HAS to be an upgrade... So how do i upgrade something i thought was once perfect?? Im truly scared of the future, and it sucks...

 

In 6 months i wanna be with a EVEN BETTER girl... but as of right now, all the other girls i have a chance of maybe hooking up with, NONE of them compare to my ex... Its just so hard to grasp that THE ONE may have gotten away... and im semi-tearing up now

[shawn923]

You are requesting advice on how to get her back, and unfortunately there really isn't any way to do that. There wouldnt be a need for a breakup forum if there was an easy, sure-fire solution to get your ex back.

 

You need to just accept that its over for now. That is all you can do right now.

 

If she comes back in 3 months, then so be it.

 

If she doesn't, you'll be moving past it anyway.

 

I understand... its just soooo hard... so how am i even suppose to know "in 3 months (or whenever)" that she decided to come back? and how am i just gonna fall in love all over again? Ur right, i may not even want her anymore. It might be too late... Ugh this sucks. I just wish i can dig into her brain and MAKE her love me! But thats impossible... Guess i gotta just let it burn

[Call Me Al]

if she has a change of heart, you'll know. She will surely let you know.

Edited March 23, 2011 by Call Me Al
cuz

[VJohnson32]

lol, if he wants to check her fb account, so be it. I dont see what the big deal is ... its his life, his emotions and he must deal with them. We tend to give people advices on how to proceed and what to do but deep down we all want to do what feels right for us. NC works for some and doesnt for others... obviously his not ready to let go and he loves her. Now the real question is if she really want you or loves you at all. NC works the same way as stalking ...you try and try until it fades away and give up all hope. It may take you longer to get the whole picture but it will hit you one day that theres no hope if theres, well you will find out eventually.

Since you want her back and you are looking for an advice, confidence is what you need. If you have confidence in yourself and believe you can have any girl you want then know that you will have her one day. Nothing you can do at this point to win her back. She must do it on her own she has to come to her senses which it may take weeks or months .. you just CANT make somebody take you back or it will never be a lasting relationship.

[shawn923]

lol, if he wants to check her fb account, so be it. I dont see what the big deal is ... its his life, his emotions and he must deal with them. We tend to give people advices on how to proceed and what to do but deep down we all want to do what feels right for us. NC works for some and doesnt for others... obviously his not ready to let go and he loves her. Now the real question is if she really want you or loves you at all. NC works the same way as stalking ...you try and try until it fades away and give up all hope. It may take you longer to get the whole picture but it will hit you one day that theres no hope if theres, well you will find out eventually.

Since you want her back and you are looking for an advice, confidence is what you need. If you have confidence in yourself and believe you can have any girl you want then know that you will have her one day. Nothing you can do at this point to win her back. She must do it on her own she has to come to her senses which it may take weeks or months .. you just CANT make somebody take you back or it will never be a lasting relationship.

 

AWESOME advice... deep down im gonna listen to my heart, as WE ALL will. Nobody will choose the advice of a complete stranger over their heart's intuition. And yes, by looking at her fb page, im trying to find out if she really loved or wanted me at all... Picture this, its like i left, running away, and im just using binoculars to see if she bothered chasing... THATS IT!! and eventually by seeing her fb page and seeing that she went on with her life all as normal, then i'll know running away did her/us a favor. If she LETS me run away, well then the relationship truly wasnt what i thought. It would be like the nail in the coffin for me, which is what i was trying to find...

 

and yes... i never thought of that, but CONFIDENCE is def what i need. Thats what i lost the most, and was my BEST trait before i met her. I NEED THAT BACK!! With that, i'll KNOW i can have all the girls i did BEFORE her. I'll have the confidence to know SHE WILL come back, and if she doesnt then she can be REPLACED... i need that mindset! I need confidence! And im hearing it takes weeks/months... so obviously knowing that, Even if she was to come back, am i looking for signs much too early??? I mean im thinking i should at least give her time to miss me before i know she simply doesnt give a fawk no more.

 

For future reference, its NOT that i need NC to get over her... I need MY CONFIDENCE to know i can do better.

[Layzie89]

LMFAO i wish i could put my last name so u can google me...

Why do u continue to post here? I clearly dont want, need, or ask for ur help. Seems like someone has a problem letting go of ME lmao no wonder u joined Loveshack... why the f*ck would i take advice from u? Anyways, leave me alone... DO U GET IT??? LEAVE ME ALONE LEAVE ME ALONE LEAVE ME ALONE.

 

TAKE ur old ass somewhere to get a f*ckin hobby. unlike YOU i CAN get plenty of other girls... I really dont see why u keep replying, its not like i ASKED anything outta you. Its not like ur getting notifications that MAKE u look at my forum lmao not did i ever DEMAND u give me advice.just leave me alone. Ur wasting ur typing energy.

 

Don't be mad that were actually shedding light on what you really are shawn. You're a 22 year old immature stalker-like obsessive ex boyfriend that no girl would ever want to date unless you fix yourself. And for the record, I'm 21. You would know peoples back stories of you took the time to read other peoples threads and experiences, but you don't. You're selfish and clearly you are extremely insecure about yourself so you use you being on the basketball team as a scapegoat to make yourself feel a little better. Shhh, little boy. I know it hurts that we are exposing who you really are and you dont like it but if we can see ot, your ex surely can to. Make some changes, listen to the advice we give ou and only then will you have a chance at any type of relationship. Have a gpod night shawn.

[WTRanger]

AWESOME advice... deep down im gonna listen to my heart, as WE ALL will. Nobody will choose the advice of a complete stranger over their heart's intuition. And yes, by looking at her fb page, im trying to find out if she really loved or wanted me at all... Picture this, its like i left, running away, and im just using binoculars to see if she bothered chasing... THATS IT!! and eventually by seeing her fb page and seeing that she went on with her life all as normal, then i'll know running away did her/us a favor. If she LETS me run away, well then the relationship truly wasnt what i thought. It would be like the nail in the coffin for me, which is what i was trying to find...

 

and yes... i never thought of that, but CONFIDENCE is def what i need. Thats what i lost the most, and was my BEST trait before i met her. I NEED THAT BACK!! With that, i'll KNOW i can have all the girls i did BEFORE her. I'll have the confidence to know SHE WILL come back, and if she doesnt then she can be REPLACED... i need that mindset! I need confidence! And im hearing it takes weeks/months... so obviously knowing that, Even if she was to come back, am i looking for signs much too early??? I mean im thinking i should at least give her time to miss me before i know she simply doesnt give a fawk no more.

 

For future reference, its NOT that i need NC to get over her... I need MY CONFIDENCE to know i can do better.

 

True, confidence is the key. Want to guess how you can get than confidence? Prove to yourself in 3's. Go three days without your ex. Go three weeks without your ex. And finally go 3 months without your ex. And, yes, without means no FB stalking. And for the million dollar question, anyone want to guess what to during these 3 sessions? Correcto-mundo! NO CONTACT!

 

You'll think about her, the past, the future, and the situation. But you also need to start to interrupt those thoughts. It's high time stop beating the dead horse that is your relationship. You've thought about it from all different sides, and you are still just as confused as day one. That should prove a point that thinking about it for days on end gets you no where.

 

For you, maybe you should start small 3's. 3 seconds, 3 minutes, 3 hours and then go from there. The only way you'll gain confidence is if you can prove to yourself you can live without her. It's what the 20-plus pages of posts and replies in all of your threads have been telling you, but with obvious glancing effects. In the end, if you can't prove it to yourself, shoot you can't even prove it to a bunch of random internet strangers, then there's no way in hell you can prove it to her.

[PegNosePete]

how am i even suppose to know "in 3 months (or whenever)" that she decided to come back?

She will be crawling through burning coals on her belly beating your door down at 3am.

 

Seriously... she will make it obvious. If you even have to think "what does this text mean?" then it means F*CK all. If it means anything then it will jump right out at you and you'll know straight away.

[geegirl]

Well yes, deep down, Im definitely holding onto hope. And i dont know why... she made it clear to me there would be no second chances. Then why did she lead me on AFTER the breakup? things like that is what gives me hope. Why did she spazz out when i erased her? It made her look jealous... it gave me hope. Although she has yet to contact me since that day if ANYBODY can answer these questions is would help my conscience...

 

Next, how exactly do i turn this around, if i havent already? i would LOVE to see her act the way i did... And its just a hard concept to grasp, knowing i want her to miss me, that TOTALLY AVOIDING her is gonna make her do that... THIS is my biggest problem And theres also the BIG chance that she never comes back... And right now, as petty as it sounds, i dont think i can do better... Well i know i can, but it scares me that i might not. I worked so hard and everything seemed so perfect in this relationship, which is why its hurting me for losing it all so fast... Im scared that obviously, the next gf HAS to be an upgrade... So how do i upgrade something i thought was once perfect?? Im truly scared of the future, and it sucks...

 

In 6 months i wanna be with a EVEN BETTER girl... but as of right now, all the other girls i have a chance of maybe hooking up with, NONE of them compare to my ex... Its just so hard to grasp that THE ONE may have gotten away... and im semi-tearing up now

 

 

Who knows why she did the things she did Shawn. Maybe it was her ego. Maybe she liked you chasing after her and when you showed signs of quitting the chase, she wanted the attention back. My ex promised me a future, but when we broke up said he can't see himself settling down with just one woman. We can analyze to death. But you will NEVER get the answers you need.

 

I don't know what else to tell you. She broke up with you. You have to let go. It's normal to think you will never find anyone as special as her. I went through that too after every break up so has everyone else. But with NC, comes mental and emotional clarity, you will get over that feeling. You feel this way about her because you are so wrapped up in her. One day, when your feelings are gone, she will just be a girl that was in your life. You have so many years ahead of you, trust me, she will not be the only "THE ONE". Quit worrying about "upgrading" and all that jazz. Just worry about you now and how you are going to get through this.

[geegirl]

NC is what gives you your confidence back. No other way around it. It helps you slowly build clarity, mentally and emotionally. And when all these things start to happen for you, you regain your confidence. Confidence is not fostered when you keep yourself connected to a negative and painful situation.

 

The moment you hear a piece of advice that doesn't have the word NC in it, you cling to it for dear life.

 

NC helps you stay away from your source of pain and confusion, which is this girl. When you stay away from your source of pain and confusion, you are able to focus on rebuilding "Shawn" again and making him emotionally and mentally whole again. Confidence does not come while you keep yourself getting emotionally battered.

 

Everytime you put yourself in a situation that keeps beating you down, you stay down. I hardly think that would be what builds your confidence.

 

As much as you hate it, NC my friend is your only route.

Edited March 23, 2011 by geegirl

[shawn923]

UPDATE: I have either made a big mistake, or a huge step towards reconciliation. I thinkin its the former tho... Lemme explain.

 

She BEGS me back, but ONLY to be a friend... So i gave in... added her back on fb. The next day she claimed she was drunk... which was the "only" reason she ended up spilling her emotions like that.

 

But she shows signs of still wanting the relationship. For example, jealousy, being nosey, etc. I told her straight up, u said u were never gonna date me again. So why do u wanna be my friend? We ended it with we were gonna start with a clean slate as friends... I continued to text her thru-out the day. What does the dumpee do in this situation? Is it possible that with this break of NC, that i can "win" her back again? Or is she simply dropping breadcrumbs, and enjoys teasing the broken hearted??

 

Should i try one last time to go on a date or something? I mean why did she come back all of a sudden, when i KNOW she missed me? But when i bring up the relationship, it pisses her off. Neither of us are dating at all since the breakup. Its as if she WANTS the relationship, but she just wants me to stop acting thirsty and WANTING it to happen. Like stop talking about it, everything. Its as if shes waiting for me to calm down so SHE can come to me when shes ready... BUT its soooo hard to avoid that cuz thats all thats on my mind when it comes to her, I deserve what we had before!

 

Or maybe im just being naive and she just wanted to know if i had found somebody yet... HELP!

[PegNosePete]

She BEGS me back, but ONLY to be a friend...

Dude. I stopped reading after that part! Was she crawling on her belly through hot coals and broken glass banging on your door at 3am?? I think not! NC!!!

 

She wants attention. She wants validation for her actions. She wants you to tell her you don't hate her, so she can feel better. She wants an ego stroke. The one thing she doesn't want, is you back. Don't accept a demotion to "friend". Back to NC dude.

[shawn923]

Fawk... I REALIZED it too and i was powerless to stop it. WHY do ex's do that??

[PegNosePete]

We all fall off the wagon occasionally because it's tempting. It's just a trip up. You can pick yourself back up again. Maybe send her a message saying you can't be friends with her because it's too painful and you need time away from her to heal. Then immediately back to NC, don't respond if she replies.

[geegirl]

UPDATE: I have either made a big mistake, or a huge step towards reconciliation. I thinkin its the former tho... Lemme explain.

 

She BEGS me back, but ONLY to be a friend... So i gave in... added her back on fb. The next day she claimed she was drunk... which was the "only" reason she ended up spilling her emotions like that.

 

But she shows signs of still wanting the relationship. For example, jealousy, being nosey, etc. I told her straight up, u said u were never gonna date me again. So why do u wanna be my friend? We ended it with we were gonna start with a clean slate as friends... I continued to text her thru-out the day. What does the dumpee do in this situation? Is it possible that with this break of NC, that i can "win" her back again? Or is she simply dropping breadcrumbs, and enjoys teasing the broken hearted??

 

Should i try one last time to go on a date or something? I mean why did she come back all of a sudden, when i KNOW she missed me? But when i bring up the relationship, it pisses her off. Neither of us are dating at all since the breakup. Its as if she WANTS the relationship, but she just wants me to stop acting thirsty and WANTING it to happen. Like stop talking about it, everything. Its as if shes waiting for me to calm down so SHE can come to me when shes ready... BUT its soooo hard to avoid that cuz thats all thats on my mind when it comes to her, I deserve what we had before!

 

Or maybe im just being naive and she just wanted to know if i had found somebody yet... HELP!

 

Jealousy and being nosey are not signs of wanting to get back into a relationship. Those are power plays. Telling you she wants to try again, work at it, be with you and showing you through action are signs of her wanting a relationship.

 

She wants the attention. She likes knowing that you're falling all over her. She likes the ego stroke. She's selfish. She plays you like a yo yo. And you let her.

 

She has stated firmly she wants only to be FRIENDS. Nothing more or less. The problem is, you can't be friends until you heal. And maybe when you heal you won't even want her as a friend.

 

NC again. And this time, try to stick to it. I don't see you getting anywhere you want to be everytime you stick your toe in.

[shawn923]

We talked again... For some reason, i ended up telling her again that I wanted nothing to do with her. This time she kinda just said bye and didnt seem concerned...

 

So dumb me, running off emotions, decided to break down again. I txted her back, saying sorry and that it was ok we could start fresh and be friends... I just said fawk it. Theres NO WAY shes coming back to me. So i guess the friend zone is ok, as long as i make sure not to get hurt. And the moment i do feel hurt, poof, i will be gone. which should be any minute now judging by my luck lol.

 

Also, my ex from before her is coming back for the first time since she left to the marines. and my current ex is aware of it. So basically, i threw in the towel with my current ex, and am now gonna pursue on other ex, who is excited to see and treats me great...

 

IDK how the hell it happned, but in a way, I FELT bad for not wanting to be her friend. Im thinkin this was a total mistake. BUT. I kinda felt like a dumper in this situation, cuz she knows im spending all next week with my other ex... and me, like a dumper, needed that peace of mind. when she just said "ok bye" when i told her i would never talk to her again, for some reason i couldnt leave on that note...

 

So basically, im now giving up all hope with this ex and i think i have entered the friend zone. im going to pursue my other ex... And who knows, if i ever wanna get my current ex back, our walls would be down, so i can ask her on a date whenever then right?? I just have to do a GREAT JOB acting like she means nothing to me... hopefully being with my other ex will help me get over this... we'll see