CluelessGuy1986 Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Ok, once again thanks to loveshack for letting me get this off my chest. Any help/advice is always appreciated. I have been seeing a girl for a months or so now, I had known her quite a while before this. Things are going great and I am crazy about her. We got talking the other day about relationships and I let her know how this was my longest one, and when it comes to relationships I have very little experience. She kind of clammed up and looked upset but eventually she told me in the past year she had 2 flings that she is ashamed of and basically did it out of insecurity/need to feel wanted. Looking back she feels really guilty about these. She was also afraid what I would think of her after telling me, I reassured her that her past is her past and im only interested in the present/future. She got kind of emotional and in a weird way I think it brought us closer together. Now, considering I kind of know one of the people its a little strange for me, but I cant expect people to be "pure" (bad word, sorry) when I meet them. It does play in my head a little, especially kicking myself for not asking this girl out sooner so she could of avoided the hurt she went through. Anyhow, we didint get to talk about me, but I am sure it will come up. Should I tell her that I am a virgin? I feel as if I kind of have to after whats she shared with me, but at the same time I still feel kind of awkward about it and not sure if she is expecting it or not. I do want to take our relationship to the next level but I wasnt sure how to initiate that and had no clue up until this talk of her past (thought she may of been a virgin) experience so didnt know how to approach it. Does anyone have any advice on putting her past out of my head, addressing the whole virginity topic and taking the relationship beyond? Thanks
blackmagik Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I'm feel the complete opposite. I think telling her you are a virgin could jeopardize the relationship. There are some woman just like men who won't date or sleep with a girl/guy who is a virgin. I for one am one, I think that is something that comes with age too so I guess it would also depend on how old you are and how much experience she does have. Even if I were to be super close to the girl I was dating and she claimed she was a virgin it just wouldn't work for me. So I guess I just came away with some questions. How old are you and how old is she if you don't mind answering? It is always up to you though to make the choice if you want to tell her. On the other hand you can look at it with the perspective that she should still like you no matter what. You coudl tell her after the fact as well. I just think telling her before hand does have the potential to turn her off.
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