t4t3r Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 The 3.5 year relationship with my ex who lived with me ended a few weeks ago after I found out she had been texting and exchanging lewd pictures with someone from work, while they were at work. Her father also works at the same place and the man with whom she cheated on me is almost 20 years older than her AND is her father's boss/coworker. I was stunned and crushed. I found out by looking at our phone bill (shared account) after I finally noticed some weird behavior. It had been going on for a little over a month. I told her she needed to move out and things were over, but I've had a very hard time coping with all this over the last couple weeks as I also work at the same place and can't believe she is out of my life. We've had multiple conversations over the past year about my lack of affection/attention toward her and just her general feelings of not being wanted. A lot of the little things I should've been doing, I wasn't. I understand those feelings now but she never brought these things up until she was mad or upset about something else, and these conversations were basically me defending myself. She used those feelings to justify what she did and that it was a reaction to how she felt. I finally found out this week that she actually had sex with the individual (he was also still in a relationship with someone at the time) in my house while I had gone out for the evening. This obviously has brought me to a whole new level of hurt/anger/insecurity/etc. She never fessed up to any of her dealings with this person until I confronted her about it, and she would lie until I could convince her to just come clean. I know this girl is not worth it by any means but I can't stop thinking about what she did to me and the good things in our relationship. I have spent time over the last few weeks trying to understand all of this and WAY too much time talking to her about everything. I've tried to help her understand what she has done and that she is just running away from her own problems. She is now getting from this guy what I wasn't giving her at the time, and she acts like he is the greatest thing ever. Her attitude at this time toward our relationship seems almost nonchalant and uncaring because she has this other person to lean on now. With the complications due to work/age/family/etc., how can her relationship with him possibly ever work? I know the truth will come out, but it's so hard for me to sit back and just deal with all the pain. Sorry for the long post, just venting and hoping for some encouraging words about this crazy situation...
yessy21 Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 She is wrong. she should have talked to u. let her think hes the greatest. he is going to do her in at the end. trust me. he isnt going to take her seriously... even though she thinks he is. get a new job. dont even talk to her. shes immature and not trustworthy. u could do way better.
PegNosePete Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Yes forget about her it doesn't matter whether her relationship with him fizzles out or she cheats on him with someone else or they have 50 years of marriage. It's over and you are going your separate ways. No need to ever speak to either of them again. If you can't stand being at your place of work because of their presence then time to find a new job.
LadyRashomon Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Here is what you can do to get over it: go to a club and party all night long with your friends. Trust me, you'll forget about it in one second. I used to advised my friends when they were in need of help. Just have fun.
seibert253 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Here's what you need to do: Get down on your knees, and thank God you did not marry this woman.
yessy21 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Here's what you need to do: Get down on your knees, and thank God you did not marry this woman. lmfaoooo ^^^^^ .... yes please do that!
purplepanda Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 She's obviously immature by justifying what she did, putting the blame on you. A mature person would discuss it in a serious manner, not cheat then throw a fit when found out. Tell her to go to therapy, and don't speak to her anymore. But don't mope: that's never good, and I always find myself doing just that. Good luck.
SueBee3490 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Here's what you need to do: Get down on your knees, and thank God you did not marry this woman. I second this advice. I wasn't so lucky - I married mine not knowing at the time of all the cheating he was doing while we were dating.
WorldIsYours Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 She did it in your house? What a disgusting tramp. Like someone else said, be glad you did not marry this immature, selfish skank.
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