never felt this way before

[complicationsinlove]

I met a guy more than a year ago at work, and I immediately fell in love with him. He is 8yrs younger than me, and I know he is not good for me. But I can't let go, since I met him a year ago, I think of him from the time I wake up, to I go to sleep. I even dream about him. When I started working at my job, I promised never ever to get involved with anyone at work. I stuck to it for four years, until I met him. I was single, and happy before I met him. I had no kind of intimacy or anything for a year prior to meeting him, I was lonely, but I felt great. Now I am lost, I don't know what happened in the past year, but I have never felt this way in my life. I am very independent and strong, and I do not take to much from any man. I do not need him, he does not treat me the way I want, or deserve, but I can't let him go. We stopped speeking numerous times, only to start speaking again. For a while I even thought we I was going to be with him, he moved in and things were going ok. Then we fell out really bad, to the point where I thought we could never speak again. But, a month later we are. I love him, and I still think about him all the time, but I know we need to let go. But im not sure why we can't, and why we keep coming back.