one goal Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 In regards to my other recent thread about wanting to ask my teacher out. Here is a email draft I've written out to her. Does this sound good? I didn't say the word "date" or anything like that, but trying to sound friendly, but yet just kinda subtle. Does this sound less harsh and not as inappropriate? Hey. How is your week off going I’ve been meaning to ask you before, but I’m shy sometimes but I was wondering if maybe sometime after class we could meet up and have lunch or coffee together or go hangout somewhere? You seem like a really nice person and I’d like to get to know you better If I could.
P&R Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 In regards to my other recent thread about wanting to ask my teacher out. Here is a email draft I've written out to her. Does this sound good? I didn't say the word "date" or anything like that, but trying to sound friendly, but yet just kinda subtle. Does this sound less harsh and not as inappropriate? Hey. How is your week off going I’ve been meaning to ask you before, but I’m shy sometimes but I was wondering if maybe sometime after class we could meet up and have lunch or coffee together or go hangout somewhere? You seem like a really nice person and I’d like to get to know you better If I could. I don't think it's a good idea to ask her out via email....... In fact it's a bad idea.
Author one goal Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 Why is that? It's hard to get her alone in class. I don't want to ask her out with others around. Talk about embarassing.
Cracker Jack Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Didn't you claim she had issues replying to your emails in general? If so, why even bother using email to ask her out? I think it's a bad idea. And it's not like you have to ask her out when everyone is around. Wait for the class to end or something.
Author one goal Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 Didn't you claim she had issues replying to your emails in general? If so, why even bother using email to ask her out? I think it's a bad idea. And it's not like you have to ask her out when everyone is around. Wait for the class to end or something. True. It's hard to though cause people ask her stuff after class and another class walks in. this classroom is super tiny! If it was a normal size room I could ask her out without everyone around. Is it a good idea not to include my number? Because then if she does say yes then I can ask for HER number. Honestly do you think she's going to hate me for asking her to lunch? I'm kinda worried, but if I never ask her I'll never know.
P&R Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Why is that? It's hard to get her alone in class. I don't want to ask her out with others around. Talk about embarassing. Asking a girl out is bad enough over the phone, but it's far worse through a writen medium such as email. It displays a complete lack of self confidence, and you can come off as creepy in the process. My girl friends who have been asked out by random guys via email always laugh at guys who ask through email. Secondly it makes it a lot harder for a girl to reject you if you ask face to face.
P&R Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 True. It's hard to though cause people ask her stuff after class and another class walks in. this classroom is super tiny! If it was a normal size room I could ask her out without everyone around. Is it a good idea not to include my number? Because then if she does say yes then I can ask for HER number. Honestly do you think she's going to hate me for asking her to lunch? I'm kinda worried, but if I never ask her I'll never know. Why don't you wait until all of those people are gone after class?
Eeyore79 Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 I was once asked out via email; I said no. It seemed a little weak that the guy hadn't approached me in person, and this lack of a personal approach meant there hadn't been any of the chatting and flirting that would normally convince me to date a guy - there hadn't even been any online chatting and flirting. I didn't even know he was interested; I knew nothing about him and he just asked me out cold, so obviously I said no. A few months later the same guy asked me out in person and I said yes. Tbh I can't see your teacher ageeing to date you anyway; it's more than her job's worth. Teachers aren't allowed to date students.
betterdeal Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 If you can't ask her face to face, you can't date her face to face.
Author one goal Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 I just emailed her. Pray to god it works. If she doesn't reply what should I expect in class on tue? That would be akward.
Author one goal Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 She still has not replied. If she doesn't reply what should I expect in class on tue? Will she act like it never happend, or will she talk to me about it?
Ricl Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Everyone told you to go ask her out in person, and yet you still mailed her. Your age is unclear to me. But I'm going to assume you're 18+ and it's legal where you live. It is possible she might talk to you about it, it's more likely that she'll ignore it.
Author one goal Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 Everyone told you to go ask her out in person, and yet you still mailed her. Your age is unclear to me. But I'm going to assume you're 18+ and it's legal where you live. It is possible she might talk to you about it, it's more likely that she'll ignore it. Im in my 20s lol. So you don't think she will even talk to me about it? at worst will she be uneasy, creeped around me now? Or give me a hard time on my grades?
betterdeal Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Why didn't you ask her face to face? Is it because in actual reality instead of in your head, you know fine well she doesn't have the same attraction to you? Look, we all develop little crushes on people we meet. It doesn't mean we have to act on them, and it's often better not to. If you have problems asking someone face to face to go on a date then you will have problems dating them face to face.
Ricl Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Im in my 20s lol. So you don't think she will even talk to me about it? at worst will she be uneasy, creeped around me now? Or give me a hard time on my grades? I think think she's be uneasy or creeped out. Teachers are likely used to having students interested in them. It's an unavoidable part of the job. So, she'll likely take it at face-value and not mention it. If you want actual feedback you're going to have to ask her face to face as it seems likely she ain't going to respond to her email. She'd be highly unprofessional if she gave you a hard time on your grades.
Author one goal Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 I think think she's be uneasy or creeped out. Teachers are likely used to having students interested in them. It's an unavoidable part of the job. So, she'll likely take it at face-value and not mention it. If you want actual feedback you're going to have to ask her face to face as it seems likely she ain't going to respond to her email. She'd be highly unprofessional if she gave you a hard time on your grades. Im just worried will she have me kicked out of school on tue when I go back? If you noticed the email I didn't say anything sexually harassing.
oaks Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I know you already sent the email even though everyone said ask her in person, but it was timid and vague. "...wondering if maybe sometime..." could be rephrased to something more positive and less wishy-washy. "...lunch or coffee together or go hangout somewhere..." could be more specific. She probably thinks you have a school-boy crush on her, and I'm guessing that she'll do nothing and not even mention it if you don't do anything else. If she's been teaching for a while she will have experienced this before. Your options are to let it go and see if she says anything, or to man up and ask her out face-to-face with something more specific even if it's just "would you like to get coffee after class today". She may turn you down on ethical grounds - she's in a position of trust - in addition to any of the other reasons why people say 'no' to being asked out.
Eclypse Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Just a quick question for the OP. Have you ever been in a relationship or kissed a girl or been on dates? I've noticed your threads where you fixate on someone. Maybe you'd be better off trying online dating to get your feet wet? Also I'm guessing if she hasn't replied by now, she never will.
Author one goal Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 I know you already sent the email even though everyone said ask her in person, but it was timid and vague. "...wondering if maybe sometime..." could be rephrased to something more positive and less wishy-washy. "...lunch or coffee together or go hangout somewhere..." could be more specific. She probably thinks you have a school-boy crush on her, and I'm guessing that she'll do nothing and not even mention it if you don't do anything else. If she's been teaching for a while she will have experienced this before. Your options are to let it go and see if she says anything, or to man up and ask her out face-to-face with something more specific even if it's just "would you like to get coffee after class today". She may turn you down on ethical grounds - she's in a position of trust - in addition to any of the other reasons why people say 'no' to being asked out. the thing is if I ask her again in person, she could possibly consider it harassment and get me in trouble. I mean I really do think she's hot and that and was serious about asking her out.
oaks Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 the thing is if I ask her again in person, she could possibly consider it harassment and get me in trouble. If that's your concern then now you just need to forget about her romantically. If she's interested she'll let you know by responding somehow to your email. I mean I really do think she's hot and that and was serious about asking her out. I believe you. Life will be full of hot girls not liking you. One day you'll be surprised.
Sash Bunny Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 the thing is if I ask her again in person, she could possibly consider it harassment and get me in trouble. I mean I really do think she's hot and that and was serious about asking her out. I think if she doesn't respond by the time you next have class with her, you go up to her and ask her face-to-face and if she rejects you, you'll just have to back off.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I work in academia and this sort of stuff happens all the time. Do you know where e-mails like yours end up? Forwarded to the most of the department. Everyone has a laugh at your expense and nicknames you "the stalker".
Author one goal Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 Im not a stalker. I just thinks hot and wanted to ask her out. Why cant she understand that?
Kamille Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Everyone told you to go ask her out in person, and yet you still mailed her. In his other thread about this, everyone with teaching responsibilities told him to wait until the semester was over... And you know why he said he couldn't wait? Because he didn't want to ask her out by email. Seriously One goal, if you were going to send an email, you should have waited until the semester is over. She professionally cannot accept this invitation, lest she be accused of sexual harassment. Which brings me to: re, your fears that she'll kick you out. I don't think it's that simple. She's the one in a position of authority, so it could only qualify as sexual harassment if she accepted. In other words, she would be sexually harassing you, because she holds power over you. I work in academia and this sort of stuff happens all the time. Do you know where e-mails like yours end up? Forwarded to the most of the department. Everyone has a laugh at your expense and nicknames you "the stalker". I also work in academia, and have never seen anyone forward one some such email, even though I've hears of students crushing on teachers. It's pretty much par for the course, and I've never seen a professor make a big deal out of it. At most, they might tell their department chair, to make sure they respond appropriately.
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