Lilmisus Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 No, I've never been turned down for it, because I don't offer it. But, did you ever think that maybe he's not the type to want just casual sex? I know plenty of guys who if a girl is asking for sex without dating, then it's more of a turnoff than anything. Or if on the first few dates she tries to have sex with him. Even if the girl is completely hot and they're into her. They've each said that it's because they don't like to think that the girl that they're having sex with has been with any or every other guy that she's come around. They'd rather start actually dating, remain friends, or just not do anything at all and wait for a girl who is interested in a real relationship as opposed to one who just wants sex. But also, maybe he used to be the type to do NSA sex, and it turned out badly for him in the past. Say..one chick offered it to him just as you did, it went well for a while, then she got overly attached and things went downhill from there. Then..the idea of doing anything along those lines with anyone else - even someone he found highly attractive, enough to make out with - was just a turn off for him, and made him think "red flag!" at the sound of it. When it comes down to it though, you have absolutely NO idea why he turned you down. It could have been because of your looks, kissing skills, or you were too shy; or it could have been something more than that like I said and the thought of being in such a relationship just didn't float his boat. Unless you want to just flat out ask him what his deal is, I say let it go and focus on your main man that you have right now. Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Men want it only if u don't want it. Lol Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I think many women have the wrong idea about men in general. It's a myth that when you as a woman offer NSA sex to men, that they would never refuse it. Now when a woman is rejected for NSA sex due to any of the gazillion reasons a guy can have, she thinks she must be ugly. Doesn't work that way. Every guy is different and will have his own reasons for rejecting you or not. Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 This is still bugging me. I am just wondering if anyone else has ever been in the same shoes. Being rejected for NSA sex means that the guy must find you really ugly indeed Sure, it is possible to be rejected but it has nothing to do with your beauty. Is he even looking for NSA sex? Is he even capable of any quality sex? Not every male is an brainless animal/personality disorder. Many of them are quality people with human emotions and sophisticated brains. Link to post Share on other sites
elaina Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 This is still bugging me. I am just wondering if anyone else has ever been in the same shoes. Nope, neither do I forsee myself ever being desperate enough to ask for NSA sex from anybody. To me, that's what asking a guy for NSA sex is = desperate! Being rejected for NSA sex means that the guy must find you really ugly indeed Oh please There are many reasons why a guy would reject such a desperate offer. Being ugly isn't even the main reason. Other reasons include: 1. a strong aversion to desperate girls who treat themselves with such blatant lack of self-worth and self-respect. 2. specific standards he wants for the woman to have before having sex with her. 3. desire for friendship only with you 4. being uncomfortable with the idea of NSA sex. 5. not wanting a NSA sex partner... wanting a relationship with the "right" woman that is a complete relationship 6. not wanting to hurt you in any way or add to your lack of self-confidence that you are showing by reaching out for a psuedo relationship. Next time what are you going to to, pay some guy to have sex with you? Come on now... 7. interested in someone else (which goes with 2. and 5.) 8. has spiritual beliefs which do not include NSA sex as part of how he wants to live his life 9. isn't attracted to you (and that doesn't mean that you're not beautiful... it just means people are attracted to different people.) 10. is gay... attracted to men, not women (again that doesn't mean that you're not beautiful, it just means some people are attracted to the same gender.) Please do yourself a favor and realize you are worth more than throwing your body at some guy who doesn't love/care for you, ok? Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Yeah I get that he isn't attracted to me. The only confusing part is that I was at his house and we made out for hours (initiated by him). I proposed NSA the next day and he said no. I am kind of shy so he maybe thought that I would be bad in bed. Who knows. There are many guys who have performance anxieties, EDs, small d....ks and other fears which make them to avoid sex with every girl. Link to post Share on other sites
elaina Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 No, I've never been turned down for it, because I don't offer it. But, did you ever think that maybe he's not the type to want just casual sex? I know plenty of guys who if a girl is asking for sex without dating, then it's more of a turnoff than anything. Or if on the first few dates she tries to have sex with him. Even if the girl is completely hot and they're into her. They've each said that it's because they don't like to think that the girl that they're having sex with has been with any or every other guy that she's come around. They'd rather start actually dating, remain friends, or just not do anything at all and wait for a girl who is interested in a real relationship as opposed to one who just wants sex. But also, maybe he used to be the type to do NSA sex, and it turned out badly for him in the past. Say..one chick offered it to him just as you did, it went well for a while, then she got overly attached and things went downhill from there. Then..the idea of doing anything along those lines with anyone else - even someone he found highly attractive, enough to make out with - was just a turn off for him, and made him think "red flag!" at the sound of it. When it comes down to it though, you have absolutely NO idea why he turned you down. It could have been because of your looks, kissing skills, or you were too shy; or it could have been something more than that like I said and the thought of being in such a relationship just didn't float his boat. Unless you want to just flat out ask him what his deal is, I say let it go and focus on your main man that you have right now. Great post Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 (edited) I did ask him for a reason and I did ask if it's the lack of attraction and spark. I told him I can completely understand if that's the case as I am not everybody's cup of tea in that sense. He insisted that it's not it but that he just has this intuitive sense that things between us won't work casually. He added that he enjoys spending time with me and wants to stay friends (which I rejected). Now I am thinking that there is more to this intuitive thing. I have a male friend that I am 100% sure has a crush on me. He never said it, he never tried anything. In fact, he goes out of his way to greet me as "hey friend". He constantly invites me to go to the movies with him and have dinners with him "as friends". Despite all this, I have a STRONG intuitive sense that he really wants to be more but is afraid of rejection so he is doing the friends thing. It's hard to explain. It's the way he looks at me, it's the way he looks downright sad when I talk about other guys, it's the frequency of initiating contact. So I refuse to have dinners with him even when bored, because I don't want him to get more attached and hurt his feelings. Yet, he never said in so many words that he wants to be more than friends... So yeah, I could see how this guy in OP can sense me getting more attached than NSA...and not wanting the hassle. Being strongly interested in someone else is also a distinct possibility (although when I asked him if that's the case, he denied it). Edited March 18, 2011 by Eternal Sunshine Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Taylor Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 A guy turning down NSA sex doesn't make you ugly or unattractive. Not all guys are into NSA sex. I know I'm not and would easily turn it down if approached for it. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 A male friend of mine turned down a similar offer. Despite her bravado, he sensed the girl was too fragile, vulnerable for such an arrangement. He let her down easy, saying nothing more than he "didn't think it was a good idea." Men can be wonderfully sensitive and protective. It may not have anything at all to do with your looks. You look lovely in your new avatar, Eternal. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 This is still bugging me. I am just wondering if anyone else has ever been in the same shoes. Being rejected for NSA sex means that the guy must find you really ugly indeed After reading my thread I'd have thought you'd have known better. What a ridiculous stereotype to assume all men will take any sex offered to them, and if they don't "they must not like you." I have morals and ethics. I'm not the only one in existence, just one of the few. In general, people don't, so I will grant you that. The ODDS are that he didn't like you (again doesn't mean he finds you ugly) but it's also possible he just has morals and standards. I still don't understand the point of cheap sex. Do it yourself instead of degrading yourself by being with someone you don't care about. But again, if someone didn't have functioning hands then I could understand it. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Really, I would never use nsa to validate my own self-esteem. OG, you're a gorgeous woman yet you tend to find fault in yourself based on rejection. Maybe you'll feel better if you come to find out he has a small penis or a low sex drive? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Heh, aren't the men who will accept NSA sex with just about any woman the same men who are considered undesirable? Link to post Share on other sites
ccfan Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 (edited) Not every male is an brainless animal/personality disorder. Many of them are quality people with human emotions and sophisticated brains. This is spot on. ... i mean to wonder about how unbeliavable it is that a guy actually refused sex and ask if other people have experienced this insane, non precedented event as well like it´s a given that we´ll take any sex that comes -no question asked- our way is making us look like we are a bunch of predictable brainless animals or something. As other posters already said, there could be so many reasons a guy refuses NSA sex with a girl, the most common one is that he just doesn´t like the girl, now this does not mean that the girl is ulgy or in anyway undesirable, it just mean that for this particular guy that girl doesn´t do it. There could be a million other reasons... i have refused NSA sex with some girls and the main reason is the one already mentioned or that you can see in advance that someone will fall for the other and get hurt. Sorry if i sounded kind of harsh as it´s not my intention at all, just wanted to make clear that if a guy refuses sex, that does not mean that he´s gay, religious, a freak of nature or anything, it just means that we -too- like and don´t like some girls like you girls do with guys. Edited March 23, 2011 by ccfan Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 23, 2011 Author Share Posted March 23, 2011 As I said, he was chasing me for a month and made physical moves on me so it's weird that he rejected NSA. I would understand if I asked randomly...but he showed signs of being physically attracted, including an erection when making out. Anyway, I'm over it now Link to post Share on other sites
ccfan Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 As I said, he was chasing me for a month and made physical moves on me so it's weird that he rejected NSA. I would understand if I asked randomly...but he showed signs of being physically attracted, including an erection when making out. Anyway, I'm over it now Well in that case the next usual cause could be that .... 1. he has developed feelings for you and doesn´t want to get hurt or .. 2. He met someone else and is taking that relationship seriously (even if hes denying it to you)... Anyhow.. good that you are over it Link to post Share on other sites
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