milkmaterial Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 love doesnt really serve us a purpose. i think its just fake..trick us into reproducing babies. our bodies crave for sex because of our biological needs to reproduce. we cant really dodge that, but has anyone just tried dating or having a f-buddy for like ..10-20 years? does it work? how do u turn urself into an insensitive person, like , not so much as go out of your way and deliberately hurt people, but just to not care AT ALL about anything relationship-wise?
Ms. Joolie Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 Hmmm what would it look like without love... hmmm let me see...
depplover_1980 Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 There are many people out there who do this and are afraid of real intimacy, teamed with commitment issues. The patterns are similar, they find a partner and play the game of the relationship, but never let their true feelings go, then when the partner wants to take the next step they simply end the relationship. They sleep around a while until they find someone to start the cycle with all over again. George Clooney is the most recognisable example. The other option is to be a player and move from bed to bed, never even taking the relationship step, even on a pretend level. It is a life choice like all others.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 You cant. At some point you will yearn for more. We adapt and search for growth. Thats just the way it is. A FWB gets old after a while if you dont want any more with that person. So no, you cant turn off the urge to want for more.
Eeyore79 Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 I generally find that if I don't have feelings for someone I have no desire to have sex with them. So having a FWB for years on end wouldn't really work for me - the F part simply wouldn't happen without love. I have however dated someone I didn't love, and had a sexless relationship which lasted a good few years. He was trustworthy, kind, etc, and I could have stayed with him, but I yearned for love and sexual attraction, so I dumped him. Maybe it's just me, but I really need all the love and passion stuff...
fishtaco Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 When you first start to date someone, there should definitely be interest, there should definitely be physical attraction (let's face it, if you can't imaging getting naked with the person, ever, then just be friends), there's probably even "like" or a "crush". But there should not be love. Love happens much later, after the relationship has become a serious one, and you have proven worthy to each other. So to date without love, just keep dating people casually, multi date or not, your choice. But never get serious with any of them. Then you're just dating for fun. When you feel it's getting serious, you bail out. If you become insensitive you'll never feel any joy either. When you numb yourself to negative feelings, you numb yourself to positive feelings as well. Both go hand in hand. So the best you can do is to bail out before you get to the "sensitive" area. So you avoid it, as opposed to becoming insensitive. I think this probably has its uses for people that don't want to settle down yet, or are still trying to understand themselves. So for short term it probably makes sense for some people.
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