Lil1 Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 I need advice please! How do I get older men (30-35) to be interested in me? I am 29 years old but the only men that approach me are usually younger than 25! I do look younger than my age, but I’m wondering if there is something about my behavior that is sending off the wrong vibe to men in my desired age group? I’m not really a ‘party girl’ or one of those attention-getters who feel like they have to be loud and obnoxious (hence giving off the immature vibe) when I go out with friends. I’m very low key and friendly. I do feel like I am somewhat intimidated by older men though, and maybe they can sense that and think that I am immature? I don’t know. I’ve never really dated an older man. I was in a ten year relationship with my high school sweetheart until I was about 26 years old. Then I dated my last ex who was 4.5 years younger than me (whom I thought was mature for his age – turned out he had to go ‘discover’ himself and be a pot farmer in OR lol!). Now I just really want to find someone who is settled, secure about himself, and ready for a committed relationship. I want someone who is on my level mentally but I only seem to be able to attract younger dudes who are still into the whole club scene. Any tips would be deeply appreciated!
carhill Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 Why do you feel intimidated by older men? Perhaps one potential is focusing on men who present compatible aspects and applying relationship and age parameters as they occur. Have you tried online dating? Do you belong to community groups or social organizations?
Ms. Joolie Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 If you have girlfriends in the 30-35 age range, hang out with them more often. Visit their hot spots and you'll find the right age of men you are seeking.
Author Lil1 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Posted March 17, 2011 Why do you feel intimidated by older men? Perhaps one potential is focusing on men who present compatible aspects and applying relationship and age parameters as they occur. Have you tried online dating? Do you belong to community groups or social organizations? Yes carhill, I have always thought that if a man is mature in his mind and behviors then age shouldnt matter (hence applying the relationship and age parameters as they occur..) however my last experience with my ex left me very weary of younger men who seem to be compatible. I have not tried online dating.... see I live alone and Im just scared that Im gonna meet some crazy creep who's gonna stalk me and butcher me in my sleep! lol! I just prefer the ol' fashioned face to face meet I guess. Though I have been giving online dating a little thought lately. Is that really a successful way to meet people? I dont really belong to any groups or organizations either.
Author Lil1 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Posted March 17, 2011 If you have girlfriends in the 30-35 age range, hang out with them more often. Visit their hot spots and you'll find the right age of men you are seeking. Ms. Joolie I dont have any girlfriends in that age group. Most of my friends are couples and younger than me!
oaks Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 I need advice please! How do I get older men (30-35) to be interested in me? Get on an online dating site and set your 'looking for' age range to that. You'll get plenty of older men chasing after you by the end of tomorrow.
Ms. Joolie Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 Ms. Joolie I dont have any girlfriends in that age group. Most of my friends are couples and younger than me! Okay, well there you go. Start hanging out with big people then. And drink merlot.
Author Lil1 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Posted March 17, 2011 Okay, well there you go. Start hanging out with big people then. And drink merlot. lol! I don't see how drinking merlot applies to this (Im a big wine drinker but I dislike merlot)... I do have friends in my age group also but they are already settled with kids and husbands and dont really go out much, the friends I have that do go out more are younger couples. Im usually the third or fith wheel!
Author Lil1 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Posted March 17, 2011 Why do you feel intimidated by older men? I'm not really sure why... the confidence and manliness they exude sometimes makes me feel like a schoolgirl! I can't really explain it. I'm an independent and confident woman, and I think I have a healthy self esteem, but when I have a conversation with an older man I seem to overthink things and probably come off as an inexperienced young girl! Maybe I'll give this whole internet dating thing a go. But I'm a little scared to do it!
Eddie Edirol Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 lol! I don't see how drinking merlot applies to this (Im a big wine drinker but I dislike merlot)... I do have friends in my age group also but they are already settled with kids and husbands and dont really go out much, the friends I have that do go out more are younger couples. Im usually the third or fith wheel! Drinking merlot applies because theres a certain sophisticated element to the atmosphere if you can find that place. Sitting at home waiting for them to come to you isnt going to get you anywhere, you have to go out and find where the older gents are. You also have to approach older guys and flirt with them to get their attention. If youre not willing to do that, well you will have to wait alot longer. Just be careful when you go online, many men are still married and dont tell you that. So if you go the online route, its not likely that anyone will stalk you, just watch out for guys that tell you that you cant call them at certain hours.
confused192 Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 It might also help if you had some friends or at least acquaintances that are older. I consistently hang out with friends that are all older than me and have found that I get asked out by older men as a result. I'm not sure if that is a possibility for you but it could help set you apart from the younger crowd.
Author Lil1 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 So I decided to join match.com. Signed up for it last night... dont really know how it all works though. Do any of you out there have any experience with this particular site? Anything I should steer clear of? I'm still very skeptical about it and havent really included too much about myself in my profile. I figure I would rather share my more personal info. in a face to face meet, but will that keep men from not contacting me (do they actually bother reading what you write or just look at the pics?). I noticed some men trying to contact me even though they don't fit the 'criteria' I established (one was 45 years old! the other one was very very overweight in his pic). Arrrrrgh Am I just wasting my time and money? Maybe I should have spent the $ on a couple of drinks with friends!
forrest Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 So I decided to join match.com. Signed up for it last night... dont really know how it all works though. Do any of you out there have any experience with this particular site? Anything I should steer clear of? I'm still very skeptical about it and havent really included too much about myself in my profile. I figure I would rather share my more personal info. in a face to face meet, but will that keep men from not contacting me (do they actually bother reading what you write or just look at the pics?). I noticed some men trying to contact me even though they don't fit the 'criteria' I established (one was 45 years old! the other one was very very overweight in his pic). Arrrrrgh Am I just wasting my time and money? Maybe I should have spent the $ on a couple of drinks with friends! There are free online datings sites as well. So you don't have to spend all of your time and money. Yes, for girls, pics matter a lot. If you're average or above you'll get a TON of messages. Sit back and pick.
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